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If you have extended scenes of
dialogue you should add in physical descriptions, such as “she turned her head
sharply” or “he fiddled with the photo.” These physical descriptions give more
detail and layer to the scene and help the reader visualize the conversation.
Let’s look at a conversation with and without the description.
If you have extended scenes of
dialogue you should add in physical descriptions, such as “she turned her head
sharply” or “he fiddled with the photo.” These physical descriptions give more
detail and layer to the scene and help the reader visualize the conversation.
Let’s look at a conversation with and without the description.
“Where are you going?” he said.
“Nowhere,” she said, then added, “anywhere
I want.”
“Right. Go ahead.”
Now with:
He sighed. “Where are you going?”
“Nowhere,” she said, then
added, “Anywhere I want.”
His hand tightened into a fist and
then relaxed. “Right. Go ahead.”
In the first exchange the two people are just floating
heads. In the second conversation, we see the scene much more clearly and the
situation seems more real.
Second, referencing body movement
can make it clear who is speaking, which in longer conversations can be
confusing. Look at this example.
“This place is strange.”
“I know, I am always nervous when I
come here.”
Jenny looked over her shoulder. “Do
you think anyone else is around?”
By placing an action right before a line of dialogue, the
reader knows that the person who took the action is the one speaking and you
don’t need to use “she said.”
Lastly, these types of additions
slow down the pace. For more on when to slow down the pace, read the article
called “Set Your Own Pace.”
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