Yeah!

I'll have to take a look at your story and comment on it.

I've done quite a lot of work on this book, and have written over a hundred pages.
Here's an excerpt from one of the recent chapters. What's your opinion?

Sparkfinger stood up. They had come for him. His fingers rested on each other, in position to snap. There was no way he could start a fire in the castle, or burn the guard. But that wasn’t his aim, anyway.

Just do it, Sparkfinger. It’s a cruel irony but it’s the only way. His hands were shaking as he started to move his middle finger off his thumb.

“Don’t you dare,” the guard growled, kicking the door closed but not turning the lock. “You’re going to kill yourself? Not a chance!” Alexander looked horrified as well as slightly in awe, as if he couldn’t believe Sparkfinger would give himself up like that. I’m not brave. Sparkfinger thought, mentally shaking his head. If I was brave or heroic, I would…

Sparkfinger clenched a fist. Yes, that was it. There were more prisoners and just one guard. They could just-

“She’s got the sword nice and sharp, too, although Grazillia hasn’t bothered to have it cleaned in awhile. We all know you’re quite willing to die—which you will, in due time—but you’ll be less likely to want to sacrifice your life when you can see the blood and smell the flesh of every other man that sword has killed…” Good lord, forget what Sparkfinger would feel when the sword was actually at his neck, just the de_script_ion made him feel sick...

Very nice!

Thanks, I'm glad you liked it! It's always nice to have people compliment my writing, it keeps me motivated!

Wow! That's good. But that's not one of the first parts of the story right? I reckon you should write an event before that if so, because letting escaping Liliana right away when the reader hasn't gotten to know her enough wouldn't be as interesting. Keep it up! And also, if you happen to fail at a certain story, don't give up! Give each idea a try. Over time, you'll have a load of resources so you won't run out of things to write. It's also good to work on one story at a time, or it can get a bit confusing...Try to put more emotion into it. In that case, you'll have to experience a lot of things-is the character sad to be locked in the castle? How will you describe her feelings? So anyway, I'm having a hard time now...I come from Australia, but I went to China to study, away from my parents and I'm only 11...It's painful, but I manage. Usually you don't realise how hard something is until you actually try it.

Thanks for your reveiw! This isn't one of the first parts of the story, it's actually from chapter forty, while the first excerpt is from chapter one....yeah, I've done a LOT of work. I'm hoping to finish the first draft sometime this summer (crosses fingers) amd then work on editing it. With luck, it will come out as something good enough to be published...(crosses fingers)

Thanks for all your advice! You're right about only working on one story at a time.... I made the mistake of working on several at a time, and none of them really got anywhere. Finally I decided to set them aside and work on this, and it's really going well! I am working on editing another book, since it's part of my nature to be a multi-tasker, but otherwise I'm trying to focus my attention on this one. This is a project I was really excited about. Fantasy has always been my passion--I read every fantasy book I can get my hands on, and I absolutely idolize J.R.R Tolkein (Author of The Lord of The Rings). I have an extreme passion for writing and fantasy.

It's wonderful that you have the oppurtunity to study in China, but it must be hard to be away from your parents. I'm slightly older than 11 (younger than 15) and I know I would have a very hard time being away from my parents. Are you studying writing? Just curious, you don't have to answer if you don't want to.