Jackie gasped as the DVD p_layer_ or what I thought was a DVD p_layer_ switched on and began to hum lightly. Next to me Chelsea and her twin brother Christopher stopped their game of ultimate thumb war to watch the screen. My father William Earthenware watch’s me like a hawk my mother seems like she’s afraid of whatever it is more dangerous then it seems. A young women’s face appears on the glowing screen unruly brown almost black curls encompasses the oval face. Her jaw is set tightly pulling a frown across her lightly tanned face. Her hypnotic chocolate brown eyes were aglow with anxiety and knowledge.
‘Hello, I can’t tell you what my name or were I’m from or am... Or really what my species is it would immediately tip off my enemies of my whereabouts. My parents let slipped our identities once and now they are dead, but weather you be friend or foe I need your help. You need to make a decision because this could be a life or death situation. All you need to do is to answer my riddle: “Never aging, winged, strong, fast, and capable of healing in a matter of seconds. We are many yet we are few we are young yet we don’t care the future of all that is warfare the Project” ‘What project are we’ My father reaches forward and types down two words they set on the screen weighing on both of my parents. SUPER SOLDIER A small needle the size of human hair pushes up and pricks him on the pad of his thumb. A large drop of dark crimson blood pooled on the small glass slid that appeared on the keypad. ‘Hello Nicolas’ Said the young women as her eyes became unreadable as she unknowingly began to talk to a long lost friend. ‘Since you must know Nicolas I feel that I can probably trust you with my secret. My name is Siler S. Doupre.’ Behind Siler a lone figure standing in the shadows began to walk towards her unprotected back and suddenly her eyes began to glow Light shade of electric blue, tendrils of the same colored energy began to radiate of her body and in waves. Bracing her hands on the table that no doubt the DVD like machine was sitting on, she kicked chair she was sitting back crushing the tall silhouette up against the far wall, his or her body gave out a sickening snapping sound upon impact. ‘This is the Declassified journal of Siler S. Doupre and this is not for the faint of heart.’ Silers low throaty voice giving of faint undertones of authority as she spoke to the camera.
Okay, sounds like an intriguing story, however, your writing needs some work. Be careful with grammar. I'm not sure that I can really give you any good advice except to try and improve the actual writing--the sentences and words of your story. Good luck!
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