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anonymous (Visitor)
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Re:Let me know if this is good... 9 Months ago  
That's just beautiful. You've captured the feeling of nature through an animal's mind. One exception is the part where the she-wolf 'felt something following her'. You've got to say something else to make that seem more realistic, like for instance that 'her senses showed her', since we're not wolves and the reader would get slightly confused. Also, when the pack is chasing her, make more of a challenge rather than a sentence or so on the fight. Remember that the story has to be realistic, and when you compare a pack chasing her with a gang chasing you, several creatures versing just one seems almost impossible for the individual to win, if this is set more on reality. Keep it up!
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replica watches 3 Months, 3 Weeks ago  
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