Hi, could someone tell me what they think of this. Just trying this for the first time. Thanks.

I didn't edit it too well.

“Rachael, open the door. Please.” “No.” I yelled back thought my bedroom door.
“Just let me in I want to talk to you.” Dylan was on the other side of the door; he had followed me upstairs when I had run out of the kitchen, before the water starting boiling for the tea.
“C’mon, please.” “Dylan, just go away. I am not coming out. I don’t feel like meeting any more new people. I don’t care if you think I’m acting like a baby.”
“Rachael you are the one that said you wanted answers.”
“Yeah from Lucy and Irene, not some guy that calls himself my father. NO. I’m not coming out. “Just let me in to talk to you.”
“You don’t have to go downstairs. I’m not going to drag you down there; I just want to talk to you.”
Lucy was at the door, “honey I have your tea.”
“Lucy, I’m never drinking tea again, so forget it. I don’t want it. Thank you anyway.” I heard them laugh. This is not funny; you don’t know how I feel. I’m scared. I heard Dylan say to Lucy, go on, I’ll talk to her. I really wanted to let Dylan in, but I was having those doubts about him again. I wish I could trust someone. Dylan, I’m calling my Aunt; my real Aunt Sally. No don’t do that, yet. Wait till you heard everything. I put my face in my pillow and started crying.
“Oh honey, what’s going on? What did he do to you? What was this a party in the hallway.
“Rachael, are you Ok.” Rick asked.
“She’s ok Rick, and I didn’t do anything.” “Hmm maybe that’s the problem. Do you want to talk about it Rachael.”
Oh god, I didn’t want to talk about anything, not any more. But I did feel safer with Rick knowing something was wrong. He could be a witness, if I needed one. I got off the bed and went to the door. Just Rick, ok Dylan, I don’t want to talk to you right now. I’m not sure about any of this. Dylan looked like I just punch him in the stomach. But, I just couldn’t talk to him right now. I needed someone else’s opinion. A different view on this. What ever it was. I’m sure Rick had some insight. He lived here for two years. He must know something or saw things that maybe he though was strange. Because it didn’t seem like anyone I’ve met so far though anything was strange. Dylan started walking toward the steps but then turn around just as I was closing the door. Rachael, I’ll be downstairs if you need me. You know, I’m not the enemy. I saw in his eyes that he was hurting. He looked like he was torn. I knew there was something Dylan was keeping from me. And that’s exactly why I wanted to talk to Rick; I nodded to him, and then close the door.
Rick was sitting on my bed; he patted it for me to sit with him. “Now what going on, are these old ladies scaring you. How did you guess? Rick did you know that Lucy is my Grandmother. No, I didn’t know that. But I do know Lucy is one cool old lady. Well yes she is, and Irene is my aunt. Apparently, I have this whole family I didn’t know about. And I thought it was my idea to come to Salam. They probably had it all plan. I wondered if Dorothy was in on it too. See when I got here, I thought my mother was dead. And then the other night she was in the park chasing us. “Yeah I heard about that. Everyone has. But, I didn’t know it was your mother. Yes, I can’t believe she tryed to kill me. I thought she was the one that was murdered. I just letting it all sink in now. Well that’s a lot to digest honey. Boy, you know how to get the ball rolling. “I don’t even know what I did. I don’t even know how to respond to all this. Now they tell me my real father is coming here tonight to explain further, and I just can’t meet him just yet. I don’t have the courage to look at him. Then I couldn’t hold it any longer and begin to cry again. Rick started patting me on the back, ok honey, you don’t worry. We figured this out. But I think you should find out what the hell is going on. I would want to know. All you need is some inspiration. He jump off the bed, and run to the door, he was wearing slippers and red jogging shorts that were very short. He reminded me of Richard Simmons, I had to laugh. “I’ll be right back, don’t go anywhere.” He was back in five minutes with two shots glasses and a bottle. I said what is it. Liquid courage!!! Oh I don’t know. It will make you feel relaxed. Maybe even fall asleep. Here try one at least. It’s the best, Vodka. Ok …..I drink it and it was the worst taste; I never drink anything, no less straight vodka. He took one too. Now what you have to remember is, the way they are all coming out of the woodwork because you’re here, well you have something they all want. I don’t know what it is, but I do know when people are interested, they also have something to gain. It seems to me, you’re holding all the cards. You just don’t know what that is now. And I think the faster you find out. The faster you can play them. Here have another. My head was just a little dizzy, but I did felt stronger, and what Rick was saying was making perfect sense to me. Your right, I just don’t know what it is yet. Then I tilted my head back to drink the shot. So if I were you, I would march right down there and demand to know everything. “Right” I said, let me have another one. I was getting hot, and I was getting just mad enough to do just that.” “Rick, have you ever notice anything about Lucy or Dorothy that was weird or strange?” “You know Rachael, I always wondered about Lucy and Dorothy, before Dorothy got sick, they were always up to something in the kitchen, making this and making that. Always up late and looking like they were hiding something. “But, I thought Lucy, didn’t cook?” “She don’t, that’s just it. What ever they were making, it wasn’t to eat.” “People, would show up here at all hours, leaving with what ever it was they were doing?” I made like I didn’t know anything.” Rick poured us another, and then he said and another thing, I wouldn’t be so hard on lover boy. I heard he is rather nice, that Casey bitch, mess with his head or his pride one of those things that is so important to man like that. He’s too proud to say it, but he was humiliated. I give him credit for trying again. He looked at me and handed me shot. Then we were laughing again. I felt disloyal, but Rick was telling it like it is. “Hey let me show you my new routine. It’s Bang, Bang, he shot me down. Oh maybe not. I started laughing so hard I was rolling on the bed. You are so funny. Yes I want to see it. Go on. Ok he said, let me open a window it’s hot in here. He went over and opened the window and then turned around and pointed an imaginary gun at me. Bang, bang he shot me down, bang bang I hit the ground bang bang my baby shot me down