On Writing Proposals -- Part 2

This is the second in a series of articles on writing a book proposal. In this article, I want to talk about that infamous "hook" that everyone talks about.

What is a "hook?"

Strictly speaking, the hook is not part of the proposal, it's part of the cover letter. When you send in a proposal to an editor or agent, you include a cover letter on top that tells the editor/agent what it is they're getting. (So they know it's a book proposal, and not a shipment of toilet paper.)

The hook is that part of the cover letter that grabs the editor by the throat and forces her to read the proposal. Editors may get dozens of proposals per week. But every editor gets the same 40 hour work week that everyone else gets. (All the editors who read this article are now snorting -- "40 hours??? What weed is
Randy smoking?") So OK, editors have the same 80 hour work week as everyone else.

So when the editor opens YOUR proposal, her first prayer is, "Please, God, help me find a quick reason to say NO." (Her second prayer is, "Please let this be the
next J.K. Rowling.")

Editors work fast. A good editor can scan a cover letter in less than 10 seconds and KNOW whether it's not any good. And a cover letter that lies there on the
page like boiled tofu is not any good.

A hook does NOT have to be sexy. It can be as simple as this:

"I met you recently at the XYZ Writing Conference, and you asked me to send you the proposal for my novel ALPHABET SOUP. I'm enclosing it here."

That's not sexy. That's just telling the editor that she's already interested in your proposal so she can put it on her stack. That's all you need.

If you use this hook, you had better be telling the truth. If you lie at this stage of the game, you will eventually be caught and then you'll be dog meat. Do NOT rely on an editor's poor memory!

If you haven't met the editor at a conference, then you'll need to grab attention on sheer merit. Here's an example of a hook I used years ago to capture the interest of a top New York agent. This was for a historical novel I was writing:

"Have you ever wished murder were legal? Not so many centuries ago, it was!"

The next paragraph of my cover letter explained the ancient "law of the blood avenger" and then gave a quick summary of my protagonist's quest for vengeance.

The agent liked that hook so much, she requested the first chapter. She liked the chapter enough to request the full manuscript. She didn't like the story enough to want to represent me, but at least she read it. Without a good hook, that would never have happened.

What made this hook work was it's paradoxical nature. How can murder possibly be legal? If you use a paradox like this, you need to be able to explain it quickly
and then tie it into your storyline.

Another option for your hook is to focus on yourself. If you have some special qualifications for writing your novel, this can be particularly effective. For
example, any of these would light up an editor's pajamas:

"I've been an LA homicide cop for 30 years and I'm writing a police procedural set in Hollywood."

"I work in the lab of a Nobel laureate chemist and I'm writing a novel about big science gone awry."

"I'm a cardiac surgeon writing a medical thriller."

"I've ridden in rodeos so long I don't have any unbroken bones left in my body, and I'm writing a novel about a Mary Kay salesman with marital problems."

Oops! NOPE! If you're going to show what an interesting person you are, your life had better tie in to your novel. Make that last one a novel about "rodeo clowns"
or "gay cowboys" or "a dude ranch comedy" and you've got something going.

A hook is NOT the one-sentence summary of your story. However, if you have a strong enough one-sentence summary, then you don't need a hook. And yet most
one-sentence summaries can be strengthened by a good hook.

Here's an example taken from one of my own books, in which I've integrated the hook with the one-sentence summary:

"I am a theoretical physicist from Berkeley writing a novel about a rogue physicist who travels back in time to kill the apostle Paul."

Not bad, eh?

Note that the one-sentence summary would have been pretty strong on its own: "A rogue physicist travels back in time to kill the apostle Paul."

But see how much stronger it is to include the hook: "I am a theoretical physicist from Berkeley writing a novel about . . ."

In this case, the hook makes it clear that I bring something to the party above just an intriguing storyline.

In the end, your writing is going to stand or fall on its own merits. But a good hook (and a good one-sentence summary) can give it a fighting chance with that pesky editor who's still up at 2 AM slitting open envelopes and hoping each one is either too horrible for words or too excellent to put down.

One final hook of my own: I discuss the role of hooks, one-sentence summaries, and cover letters in the lecture on Proposals in my Fiction 201 course, which I
just released today. Yes, I am one sly devil, ain't I?

About the Author: 

Award-winning novelist Randy Ingermanson, "the Snowflake Guy," publishes the Advanced Fiction Writing E-zine, with more than 21,000 readers, every month. If you want to learn the craft and marketing of fiction, AND make your writing more valuable to editors, AND have FUN doing it, visit http://www.AdvancedFictionWriting.com.

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