Chapter 44: Soul Searching

  It was a dark room, only lit by the gentle glow of a laptop screen, the soft hum of the CPU fan filled the silence. A man sitting on a chair, rested his head on many pieces of paper, which lay scattered over his desk. Words connected by lines and circles filled every page, a labyrinth of thought with no solution. The eyes of the man were wide open but empty of hope, he had lost the will to live.

  How can it be so hard to find a name for a clan? Marcus thought.

  Just choose one that sounds good! Hilarious! Since the gang had decided that they would make a clan and that Marcus was NOW the leader, he had been agonizing over a name. You can not just choose any name, not when others have such perfect names like Cerberus. A clan name must express the very essence of the clan but also sound strong and interesting. It must be short enough to memorize but profound enough to be worthy of memory. You can also not copy or just slightly change existing names, that is not good enough. A simple generic name is out of the window, too. It is bland and proof of bad taste. And YES it has to sound good too in the end. Marcus ruffled his hair and moaned in agony. His brain was melting and he was out of ideas.

  The husk, that once was Marcus, dragged itself to the kitchen to find more coffee and maybe some sugar in the form of small wrapped sweets. He found coffee but his hope for sugar was destroyed by a small hill of plastic wrappings on the table, that somehow reminded him of Janette. It was two in the morning but time was relative when your brain existed only on coffee and (not enough) sugar. “Can’t sleep?” Kou’s voice entered the room and shook at least something awake in Marcus. “Hmmmm” he answered eloquently.

  “I have created a new account and also prepared the documents for a clan founding. We should get some funding if we play our cards right. We still have to choose a name and also a place for our headquarter. It will be no more than a house at best. We need to decide on various other points too, clan taxes, code of conduct, hire and fire regulation and maybe a clan slogan too.” Kou said all these words and Marcus admired him for the ability to speak at this time of the day. Maybe he had eaten all the sweets?

  “You should be the clan leader.” Marcus said, some coffee had reached his brain. “Absolutely not, I will take care of the bureaucracy and the numbers but I’m no leader material. I figured this out some time ago. You on the other hand, you have charisma and you inspire people. You will do great.” Kou said and Marcus’ suspicion, that Kou had eaten all the sweets grew. “I will send you the founding documents, you just need to add the name and we are good to go.” Kou said with the innocents of a child and vanished into the dark. Marcus was in deep thoughts, wasn’t there a chocolate bar in one of the drawers? He searched and only found paper pieces. Janette.

  Marcus moved through the darkness of the dorms to the lair of the evil chocolate devouring witch. The door was not completely closed, he peeked. Janette looked like a little, mean angel, wrapped around her “Cherry” stuffed toy, sleeping without a care in the world. There were chocolate remains on her sideboard and her mouth. Marcus just closed the door silently and slumped back to his room. He was too tired to sleep and went back to his many, many notes.

  A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

  Marcus followed his own train of thoughts, rode the lines and danced on the circles. There were many smart words here, good words. But nothing that felt right, nothing that felt like THEM. That was the main problem, who are we? A group of nobodies drawn together by circumstance, his own brain offered as an answer. Sure, that was true but it was only one perspective. They all choose to be here and trusted each other with their lives. Going forward together into an unknown future.

  Marcus wrote down “growing” and “together”. He followed it up with “garden” and “forest”. “Garden of the No Goods” another stellar offer by his brain. HEY who are you working for brain? Try to be less sarcastic. It is your fault Marcus, you did not provide sugar so I provide only acid.

  Maybe he should eat something proper, Marcus thought. No, Achara is going to be up in a few hours making breakfast for all of them. She and Kou are so serious and strict, the total opposite of the free spirit Janette. And Marcus? Overly serious, overly impulsive, overly insecure Marcus was somewhere in between, his brain added for more acid. We are all over the place, not like Cerberus who are fierce, rough and direct. Or Sleeping Sky, who are imaginative, creative and excellent in every way.

  But you wouldn’t want to do this with anybody else, right Marcus? You were so happy when they said they wanted to make clan, after you just mentioned it once. That is why you try so hard to find a good name. Because you do not want to disappoint them. Marcus’ brain knew Marcus very well.

  Marcus wrote down “different” and “connected”. Marcus closed his eyes and thought about the words. He walked in a forest with many different flowers, pulsating colors and the smell of magic. Something a bit mystical like the “A Midsummer Night’s Dream”, with music and laughter of elves.

  On that thought he took out his earphones and listened to some soft music. It was three in the morning.

  Marcus and his brain, both of them really, started to get tired now. The lightning storm caused by the coffee was finally dying down and soon he would be asleep, giving his brain time to sort some stuff out. He entered those last minutes were everything starts to go silent and all unnecessary thoughts vanish into the nothingness of near sleep. Marcus took his pen and wrote down a few words and looked at them for a while. Yes.

  He opened his laptop and the file with the clan registration and choose the name entry. He tipped in the words. “Please confirm name: Colors of the Wild” the program asked and he obliged. Marcus went to bed and was gone in seconds.

  It was morning, at least outside, and Janette left the shower without much of an idea what to do next. She found the kitchen but the great angry dragon Achara was already at work and one can not steal food before breakfast, punishment awaits. The next best thing was to find Marcus and see if something fun happens. Janette opened the door to his room and found him on his bed with all his clothes on. She watched him for some time and resisted the urge to do something mean. Her eyes wandered to the desk with the many papers. He had been working hard again, that dummy. Something simple would be good enough but he wanted it to be great.

  She saw the words next to the pen and smirked. She silently closed the door again and returned to the kitchen to spread the news.

  “Give me that, and that too.” Achara waved and Kou gave her the correct spices. “Can you cut this?” She gave him carrots and she took care of the eggs. They worked in silence, they did not need many words, they understood each other. Achara looked up and watched Kou cut the carrots with an intense look in his eyes. She gave him a kiss, and he looked happy. Maybe I give him too many lately, but I really want to, she thought. At that moment Janette walked in and Achara’s mind went back to the duty at hand.

  “I know the name of our clan.” Janette said with a wide grin. Kou and Achara stopped their work and waited for the announcement.“Colors of the Wild” Janette said with a big smile and glowing eyes. The others nodded after a moment. “I knew Marcus would come up with something good.” Kou said. “It has a good ring to it and sounds intriguing too.” Achara said and stopped Janette from stealing carrot pieces.

  “It sounds like us.” The half asleep Marcus stood in the doorway and watched them with a smile. “Pffftt. Look at your hair!” Janette laughed and attacked the bowl of fresh rice, Kou intervened by levitating the bowl away. Achara rolled her eyes and got up to make a cup of coffee for Marcus. This was life. This was them. Colors of the Wild.