The world was still again. Not as a result of my usual spell. It was the same as it had been when Margaret died. The loop I was in couldn’t exist anymore. As Luke allowed himself to choke to death in the sand, the time I existed in ceased to make sense. There was no world anymore where Luke could be used by Vitinia. He’d died before any of this started. I was just experiencing the death throes of a vanishing timeline.

  Teal aura filled the air around me, and the water meant to kill me evaporated. I didn’t move right away. It hurt too much. The actual fight had been easier than I expected. I was remembering how much aura I could truly control, and I had the spirits of quieted victims empowering me. But I’d made myself a silent promise. That Vitinia would have an answer that made sense. That what she was doing had some kind of reason I could grasp. But she didn’t. Not as far as I could discern. Not one she was willing to share. That knowledge tasted like spoiled milk, and it bubbled in my stomach.

  Everything that had happened to me. Everything that had happened to Cammie. Our lives had ended, slowly and painfully. One indignity after another. And I’d helped the first time. I’d been ready to watch Cammie die because my grandmother told me it was right. I could hope she had some reason for it. One I could understand at least. Even if it was wrong. It would be better than Vitinia’s answer. Or the only answer I could discern. Stupid, petty pride.

  It wasn’t that I couldn’t understand the emotion. There was a time, once, when I drowned in it myself. It was a powerful motivator, and it led me to many of the worst choices of my life. But… it was also easy to leave behind, once I’d finally seen who I really was. And it was even easier to feel through the people I loved. Pride in Cammie, or in Grandma. These were both as good as pride in myself. That was why I was so upset with Cammie, I think. When I thought she’d faked it. Well, it was part of why I was so angry, anyway. I felt lied to. I also believed a monstrous lie, and the anger seemed to impress my grandmother. But I hated that I felt so much pride in Cammie, and it was a lie. Before that, her victories and mine felt the same.

  What Vitinia had chosen, though. That was different. She really seemed to simply care that she stood a little taller than her son. She needed him, and everyone else, to look up to her. To follow her example and hers alone.

  And I couldn’t understand it.

  How could that be worth it? It felt so hollow. But Vitinia wasn’t actually my grandmother. I had to hope it wasn’t the same. It felt the same. But I supposed I would never really know. I just wished I had something to hold onto. Some explanation.

  I didn’t, and there was no point in waiting any longer. So I sat up on my knees, and I touched the torrent of aura as it danced around me. The moment I did, it embraced me like the first drink of water in the morning. Like soft cloth on a cold night, borrowed from an older sister who’d made it warm for you. I felt it dance through every bit of my skin and pour from my mouth. It felt like flowers were blooming in my hair and decorating my clothes. Lilies and sunflowers. My favorite and Cammie's. I knew they weren’t there. But I could see them. The entire garden was more vibrant than I’d ever seen it. I felt like I stood before a crowd, and everyone was finally happy to see me.

  Like everyone loved me, and was grateful to me. No one thought I was a liar, and no one thought I was a monster. I wasn’t alone, and I would never be alone again. I was still in the garden. My sister’s garden. But I was also home. Junia, and Millie, and Harrison. Even Hadley. Livia and Marcus. Men and women I barely recognized, if at all. Everyone I loved was surrounding me, and they were grateful that they knew me.

  That was how I knew it wasn’t real. Few people lived to see such joy, and I deserved it less than most. Even if I escaped the loop. Still. It was a kind vision to offer me. One that felt like moonlight in the dark. It would push me forward. Until I ended the loop.

  Arms wrapped around me, and I felt breath on my ear. The arms were comfortable and affectionate, even as they trembled.

  “I love you.”

  That was all I could make out. ‘I love you’. The words sounded like a prayer. Pleading. With Aethon. With Luna. With me. I didn’t know. But they were honest, and they made me bleed. They were simple words, but ones I hadn’t heard in a long time. There was no romance in them. That wouldn’t have felt nearly as warm. It was more like a mother for her child. Love like a bulwark against the world. And it worked. For only a few breaths, it worked. I felt safe from everything that had hurt me, and from everything I had done.

  And then the world ended.

  End of the First Day

  The First Day

  I still had water running down my cheeks as I woke up in the inn. Water and red eyes like I’d spent the night sobbing in my sleep. Perhaps I had. I wanted to go back. It wasn’t real, but I wanted to go back. It was almost painful, how kind that moment had been. Enough that I wondered if I wouldn’t feel better if it hadn’t been offered at all. I've had a lot of dreams like that in my life. So beautiful that waking up hurts. Dreams that made me grieve for imagined loved ones who’d never existed.

  Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

  I always hated them. I hated imagined happiness that couldn’t exist while I was awake. I wondered for a moment if that had been the point. If the mage on the other side of this loop had given me that kindness as a punishment.

  “I love you.”

  But I didn’t believe that. It was more gentle than that. And those three words, whispered in my ear. I knew they didn’t belong to Camilla. If Cammie was even out there still. But I could almost hear them in her voice. And I knew. I knew just that shadow of a belief would carry me forward. The truth was, it didn’t leave me grieving. Everything had, for a long time. But failing to get an answer about my grandmother, and seeing a glimpse of what could have been… it made me angry. It made me furious, and it made me desperate to do something about it.

  The initial spell had only gone in three directions. I’d stopped two of them. Or so I hoped. It was possible Vitinia had done the same thing again, even without Luke. But I didn’t think so. From what I’d seen, the indignity of losing her son’s worship was the straw that pushed her over the ledge. When that worship had killed him instead… I didn’t think I’d have to face her again. I also suspected that vision in the garden had used the aura and souls that were supposed to give her magic. The same Aura that had flown from the original spell like a star. It would explain why stopping Margaret had reduced that to two on the third day. Which meant I only had to find one more person.

  I didn’t know if that would be enough to end the loop, but I could get closer to the original spell after stopping Margaret. I could only hope that someone else had found, or been given, the last star, and they could help me end this. Or stopping them would help me. I didn’t know what they would do with it if they existed at all. Luke and Vitinia had done nothing while Margaret was killing people. I think they may have been dead in that version of the loop. So I didn’t know what to expect this time. But I did have a name. Clark Cross. The last name in Matthew’s will. I was off to a better start than I had been the last two times.

  I climbed out of bed and grabbed my ribbon. I felt the grease in my hair and frowned. There had been loops when I’d taken the time to bathe. Even times I’d washed my clothes. But never this early. But… for some reason, I couldn’t stand how filthy I felt. I couldn’t bring myself to care most of the time. But I felt disgusting. Unfortunately, since I hadn’t bathed this early, I couldn’t pull a clean version of myself into this day. I didn’t even know if that would work, but I thought it might be worth a try. In any case, it wouldn’t work yet. So I changed into the cleanest traveling clothes I had and tied my hair up to hide the grease.

  I had a lot to do in whatever this version of the loop had to offer. I knew it had plenty, based on the trails of sparks leading away from my feet. Fewer than before, but plenty. But first, I had unfinished business from the last version. I left the tired room with my grimoire at my side and descended into the tavern.

  “Mornin’ Mars!” Livia greeted cheerfully. I was very pleased to see her, since her presence here meant she wasn’t attending some church for the dead. I was also, however, extremely confused by the decor she was hanging. Flowers in grand arches and what looked like fine silk in a familiar teal. Marcus was there as well, helping decorate the other side of the tavern. “Sorry, but no breakfast today. Kitchen’s closed the next couple days in preparation for the wedding.”

  “Wedding?” I asked. Livia pouted, and Marcus spoke up on her behalf.

  “Well, you’ll hurt her feelings like that,” he rebuked. “After she let you stay and all. She told you when you got here! She’s getting married in a couple of days!”

  “Figure we might as well do it now, since we may not be around in a week. I know I’m decorating a bit early, but you’ve seen how it is out there,” Livia added. “Everyone is so worried about the Quiet. I just want to make it one last big party for everyone who is left.”

  I didn’t respond for a long moment. She was admitting to the existence of the Quiet far too easily. And, of course, she had never been planning a wedding before. This was… I let out a deep breath. I would ask her about it later. I owed an… acquaintance a favor. “Oh, right. I’m so sorry, I just didn’t sleep well last night. Congratulations, if I didn’t say it before,” I said. I didn’t even really know what I was saying. I just needed to say something. And then I needed to go.

  The graveyard wasn’t as clean as it had been when Margaret managed it. But it also wasn’t as neglected as when Melody was in Luke’s control. Margaret’s grave, especially, was well tended to. Fresh flowers rested in a vase in front of a clean headstone. They were clearly replaced regularly, and more flowers had been planted around it.

  “She’s… she’s back?” Margaret asked. I glanced toward the door to Margaret’s home. There was light and the smell of something cooking coming from the window.

  “I think she is,” I answered. “Are you ready?” Margaret tensed.

  “I don’t deserve this. Why did you let me come back?” she asked. She knew this would be the last time. I wasn’t myself around her. I wasn’t safe. I was afraid, and I wasn’t in control. It was her, not Luke or Vitinia, who pushed me through that door when I’d been caught. It was never confidence. It was deference to someone I feared. And I couldn’t keep her with me anymore. But she had helped. She had tried. And most importantly…

  “Because I don’t either. But if I ever got the chance, I’d still ask,” I answered. She sniffed, then looked at the house.

  “Thank you,” she whispered. “I’m ready.” I nodded, then walked to the front door and knocked.

  I didn’t have to wait long, and the warmth of a kind woman greeted me as the door opened. She didn’t look like she’d nearly died. I could see the grief of a mother who’d lost a young child. But I also saw her smile like a scar. She hadn’t healed the same. But she’d healed.

  “Hello, what can I do for you today?” Melody asked. I took a deep breath.

  “Hi. I’m Mars. Do you have a little while to chat?”

  End Of Volume 2