I returned the crystalline sword back to my belt and rotated the shoulder that had previously been dislocated. It was still stiff, which I chalked up to age, and hit myself with another heal. New skin regrew to replace the acid-burnt stuff the Clean spell had removed from me. Thankfully, Ferrisdae’s magic also made the puddle of horrible things disappear from under my feet, and I let out a breath of relief now that I didn’t have to smell like a Dragon’s innards.

  “That’s Luculus Rex,” Noknok whispered as I got close, stunned, as if he didn’t feel worthy to speak the name out loud. Or perhaps because he couldn’t believe it was real. His team knelt down behind him in the presence of their god’s divine treasure.

  The cleric’s reactions to the hammer I held didn’t go unnoticed, either. It had been hard to tell what it was when covered in vomit, gore, and whatever else I had to slide through in order to get out, but there was no mistaking it now.

  “Thanks, Ferrisdae,” I said, patting her on the arm as I turned to Noknok. “I’ve got words for you and yours.”

  “Badger,” Tabitha gently warned as she approached me to look me over. She handed me my Hilt of Holding, and I returned it to my belt.

  My wife knew me well. Still, they were allies, not subordinates. That didn’t mean I wasn’t going to speak my mind.

  Taking a breath, I looked past the other team to look at the Shadow Dragon’s body. There were large gouges in its side that looked like they had been made by Dalsarel’s sword, but they were only as deep as Noknok’s attacks had gone. Those scales were tough.

  It was, as I had guessed, missing a wing. Based on the way the bone was all torn up, it appeared as though Ferrisdae managed to get a Shooting Star working on it. That was good. Beating a creature’s magical resistance wasn’t always easy, especially against a Dragon, but it could be overcome. She had done well.

  My gaze turned back to the clerics. I tempered what I was going to say, softening it somewhat, but not by much.

  “We are behind schedule because we had to come and save your asses,” I intoned, taking on the same cadence Segrech used on Cheroske as I stared the Kobold down. His tail twitched nervously, and I knew it hit home. “Our job is to go and wrest free the various dungeons that CC has control over. Why? Because I’m the only one capable of doing it. And we get a call from Justisius telling us that you’ve gone rogue, Noknok?”

  He had the good sense to look chastised, and he lowered his head. “The Maul of the Luminescent King was in our grasp, Paladin. Surely, you must understand that when our god speaks—”

  “Oh?” I challenged, taking a step towards the Kobold. Tabitha had a hold of my jacket, not letting me enter his personal space, which was probably a good thing. “Do you think Cheroske would have me disregard direct orders to respond with our status, say nothing, and go on a suicide mission in the hopes that we might succeed in making her proud of us? Do you think the goddess of community would request that?”

  Noknok stiffened as I spoke. “No, she would not,” he conceded contritely. “However, we were sent on a holy mission. Surely, you did not think we wouldn’t drop everything if it meant getting back Segrech’s divine treasure?”

  “No, of course I didn’t think that,” I angrily laughed. “No one with half a brain thought you would pick the expedition over the chance to get Luculus Rex back. It was even the first thing you spoke of in your introduction, before bringing up your worries about the continent. But you know what we did think? What we assumed? That you would ask for some gods damned help!”

  I shoved the hammer into his arms, and he scrambled to grab it after I let go. At this point, I didn’t care if it fell to the ground or not. A little blasphemy against a god that wasn’t mine would be outright therapeutic at this point.

  Noknok regarded the hammer with such awe that he almost looked like a hatchling again. He brushed his hands against the head before stiffening and growling. “That Shadow Dragon dared to hurt Luculus Rex?” he asked angrily, tracing a claw across the scratch before turning to the dead monster as if he were going to fight it all over again.

  “Eyes on me, Noknok.” I snapped my fingers near his ears, and some of the fight left him as he turned back. I went on like he hadn’t said anything. “A super powerful god hammer would help us tremendously in this war we find ourselves in,” I continued, trying to dial it back as Tabitha put a hand on my shoulder. “Anything that hinders CC and bolsters us is vital to winning this fight, Noknok. I have no doubt that Justisius would have moved all of First Cell to aid you if he thought that it would get things done safely.”

  “And that was unacceptable,” the Kobold argued, shaking his head as he cradled the hammer delicately in his arms. “The loss of Luculus Rex was the fault of Sir Sampson the Righteous, and it was the church’s holy mission to retrieve it. No one else’s.”

  “Because, yeah, you all were doing so well,” I scoffed. I took a moment to look at the still kneeling clerics behind him. All except one was bloody, beaten, and battered, and one was even missing an arm. “Tell me, after that fight, do you think you would have been victorious without us?”

  “I had faith,” he returned simply.

  The worst part was, I knew he absolutely believed it. I scowled. Of course a Kobold who worshiped the sun god so hard he went blind would follow his faith with the same level of foresight and caution.

  “This is just as bad as selfish adventurers,” Cojisto muttered from somewhere behind me.

  “What did you say?” Noknok asked, turning to face the Human.

  He hesitated, but I gestured at him to continue.

  “Selfish adventurers, man,” the pugilist repeated. “All they care about is seeking glory, making a big payout, and not wanting to share in any of it. It’s just that, instead of believing in yourself, you push that onto your god. Sure, Segrech may have told you that this was your problem to solve, but you’re more likely to bite off more than you can chew because you think your faith is all it takes to solve all your troubles.”

  “Just like an adventurer with an ego thinks they can handle every situation,” Ferrisdae added.

  “Yeah, exactly,” Cojisto agreed, pointing at the Forest Elf. “And that puts the whole team in danger, right? Because you have an overinflated sense of your own worth because you’ve got this divine mission.”

  “And, when adventuring, the team is what’s important,” she continued. “In this case, your reckless actions put us in danger just as much as they did you. If we hadn’t made it in time, you likely would have either died or escaped with casualties.”

  “Definitely missing worse than an arm,” Dalsarel interjected.

  “So that’s what I mean by being just as bad as selfish adventurers,” Cojisto said. Moose grunted a few times, causing his person to nod. “You’re right. They put the people around them in danger through their actions. And, I get it. Your motives weren’t malicious, and they weren’t meant to hurt anyone except you if things went south, but we still would have had orders to follow you if you died. We would have been in the same position you found yourself in.”

  “We would have—” Noknok started.

  This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.

  Tabitha scoffed, interrupting. “And if Badger died, then you would have doomed this entire expedition, too,” she said, her tone almost enough to send a shiver down my spine. I knew that voice, and I automatically straightened the moment I heard it. “And a doomed expedition in this case means the end of our continent. Possibly the world. All because your faith, and apparently your god, is as blind as you are.”

  The Kobold opened his mouth to defend himself, then closed it. He opened it again, struggled to find his words, and lowered his head. Noknok might not have known how important I was, but my wife’s tone brokered no argument.

  By now, I had cooled down. “I understand wanting to do right by your god, I really do,” I sighed, crossing my arms. “But you need to be pragmatic as well as faithful. You’ve been serving Segrech for thirty years, if I remember correctly. That doesn’t mean your life has to be thrown away in one battle against a powerful foe. You’re much more useful alive and disappointing because you called for help then you are as another martyr for a treasure.”

  “Your words are… wise, Badger,” Noknok said diplomatically.

  I wasn’t sure if he actually agreed or not, but it wasn’t up to me to babysit them any longer. “We’re going to get going on our mission,” I announced, tilting my head towards the exit. “I’m assuming you will handle the destruction of this dungeon so one of Segrech’s most hated creatures won’t return?”

  “Yes. On my honor, it shall be done,” the Kobold replied, lowering his head while lifting his fist above it. A pose of faith with the sun held high. “The Shadow Dragon must not be allowed to revive, and we will ensure that it doesn’t.”

  “Good. Leave that to your team. While they’re doing that, you’re going to call Justisius and tell him everything that happened here,” I ordered with a scowl. “Tell him to call me immediately after, because I have some things to report, too, but he needs to know that you’re alive. Got it?”

  “That’s… Yes, Badger,” Noknok agreed, making a gesture to the one unharmed cleric behind him. She retrieved their Sending Stone from her pouch. “I’ll make that my priority.”

  “Then we’re leaving,” I announced, turning on my heel and walking towards the entrance. They had been clearly marked with some Light spells now that the enemy had been defeated. “Come on, team, we have a lot of ground to cover.”

  No one hesitated to follow after me, and we marched in silence until we reached the end of the tunnel. Cojisto moved to the front of the group to lead us back through the wilderness. Ferrisdae joined him.

  “Sorry that I just kind of jumped in there, Badger,” he offered apologetically. “I just can’t stand it, you know?”

  “I know what you mean, Cojisto,” I replied with a nod. “And, it’s true. Divine mission or not, they did act selfishly. It wasn’t a one to one comparison, but I understood your point. And, clearly, so did Ferrisdae.”

  “I just wanted to help him out,” the Forest Elf said, patting him on the back. “Sometimes you have the tendency to ramble.”

  “Ha! Guilty as charged,” he responded in good nature before sighing. “I just can’t believe some church guys would go out that way. It seems like such a waste.”

  “And it is,” I agreed with a shake of my head. “But the gods all have different personalities and expectations of their faithful. Segrech is…” I paused, frowning as I thought of how to phrase this considering his attitude. “Very independent and tries to handle things on his own, and his worshipers are inclined to act the same way.”

  “Disappointing, but not really unexpected, then,” Dalsarel stated.

  “Basically,” I confirmed before turning my attention towards the pugilist. “What did you do during the fight, Cojisto?”

  “Ugh, Badger,” he replied, hanging his head. “There was a whole big Dragon in there, just waiting to get pummeled. We heard through the tunnel that you had been eaten. I was ready to burst in there and show that beast what for.”

  “And?”

  “And then I didn’t,” he mumbled petulantly, as if he had done something wrong. “I listened to orders, stayed with Tabitha and Moose, and helped get Noknok’s team back up on their feet. Missed out on a great battle.”

  Despite what had gone down, I found myself smiling at Cojisto’s back. I had honestly thought he’d run in there and start punching, trying to wrestle the Dragon into submission even though it was so much bigger than he was. Especially after I had been eaten. The fact that he didn’t raised my evaluation of him.

  “If we come across another, non-Shadow Dragon, I’ll make sure you get first crack at it,” I told him.

  “Really?” Cojisto asked, turning to look at me to see if I was lying. He ran into a branch, but that did nothing to hinder his enthusiasm.

  “Yeah, sure. You followed orders even though you had something you wanted to fight right in front of you. I appreciate that,” I answered honestly.

  A goofy grin spread across his face. “Himia, are there any more Dragons on our path to Camp Lexid?”

  “Camp Lexi,” the Information Elemental corrected as she appeared next to me. “And there are a few we can—”

  “Not if it means we’re going out of our way,” I warned.

  Himia paused at that. “No, we will not be going through the territory of any more Dragons.”

  “Ah, dang it,” Cojisto sighed. He turned back around and shrugged. “Nothing to it, then.”

  “Sorry, Coji,” Ferrisdae whispered softly, rubbing his back.

  “Eh, it happens,” he replied with a shrug. Moose, on his other side, just nodded.

  Tabitha bumped into me and took my hand. “Eaten by a Dragon, huh? That’s a story that’ll probably give Willow nightmares. We might have to leave that part out.”

  I shrugged. “Worked for the Serpent God of Rainbow Lake, figured it would work here.”

  “Mmhmm,” she agreed, but I could tell what she really wanted to say.

  “Yes, dear, I’ll be more careful.”

  “Thank you, fire of my heart,” she replied with a smile, kissing me on the cheek.

  I turned my head to see Dalsarel behind us, taking up the rear, but she was very explicitly not looking in our direction. Good girl.

  “Still, I’m surprised to hear that Dragon was strong enough to scratch a divine artifact,” my wife mused. “It was certainly powerful enough, I suppose, but I would have thought any damage it would inflict would be bigger.”

  “It was an awfully small scratch,” Ferrisdae agreed.

  “That is because it was not caused by the Shadow Dragon, but the Inspector,” Himia stated.

  The procession slowed down almost as one, and I frowned as I was forced to stop before running into Cojisto. Tabitha reached over and touched my arm. “You did that?”

  “Apparently,” I answered with a scowl. “Not like I was expecting it to get damaged, I just used a martial art to dislodge it from the Dragon’s stomach, and it happened. If anything, I should be wondering why there was such a powerful sword just… sitting in a swamp where anyone could pick it up.”

  “Correction, only the Chosen One could have pulled the sword from the pedestal,” Himia said.

  I threw my arms up. “What does that even mean?”

  “Admittedly, not much. It did have a power threshold in order to wield it, one which all of you met, but until I merged with the crystalline sword, it was merely a harmless, though magically dense, crystal.”

  “And what happened when you did?” I asked, arching an eyebrow.

  “I altered its structure, both in a physical sense and a magical one, in order to facilitate your particular brand of energy, Inspector,” she explained patiently. “In doing so, I created a weapon capable of rather explosive results. It is now, unfortunately, mostly useless as a magical crystal as it will only react to your energy and that of your goddess, but it will last you for many years.”

  “Just like that?” Ferrisdae asked as she walked over and squatted next to me. I frowned, but she wasn’t staring at me. Her attention was on the sword.

  “Just like that,” Himia confirmed. “Of course, this process would be much more potent if I interfaced with Badger directly, which we previously discussed.”

  “No,” I reiterated firmly. There was no way I was letting that happen.

  “That thing Dals told us about that black thing on the hilt merging with my husband’s spine?” Tabitha asked.

  “The very one. I could give more information, if you would like,” Himia offered.

  “It’s not happening, so there’s no point bringing it up,” I said firmly. Clapping my hands, I then motioned for everyone to start moving. “We need to speed up a bit, Cojisto,” I said. “We’ve got a lot of hours to make up for, and I want to push as hard as we can before we have to stop for the night.”

  “You got it, captain!” he replied, raising a fist in the air. “Moose got some rest while you were fighting, so he’s good to go.”

  “Exactly what I wanted to hear,” I said, though I didn’t miss the look Ferrisdae and Tabitha shared. I just knew better than to bring it up.