Chapter 69
The third and final day of the festival was well underway. I had made an extra effort to get everyone ready to handle things without me long enough to catch Guy's show. Given that most visitors to Borderton had already seen all the attractions, there weren't quite so many people to deal with anymore.
Or so I expected.
“What a delightful attraction.”
An extremely tall man in a bowler hat and suit arrived with a group that absolutely did not look at home in this environment.
Was there really a need to confirm who the tall man was? Nobody else stood out like he did.
But I had no idea how well-known Merk was to the public, so I opted to feign ignorance.
“Hello! How can Chapu help you fine men, woof?”
I spoke to him as I did with any regular customer.
“No need to pay us any special attention, Chapu. I am quite familiar with these creatures myself.”
Merk spoke in a pleasant tone and was far more expressive than before. I also noticed he had some kind of illusion spell active that made him appear human, though it did not alter his height at all.
“Is that so, woof? Is there something else Chapu can help with, woof?”
No matter the situation, I would preserve Chapu's character in the eyes of the onlooking children.
“If you could be so kind as to provide a location for us to rest our weary legs, that would be most appreciated.”
His facade was flawless. If not for the fact that I knew him, I doubt I would even consider his tone and mannerisms to be manufactured.
“Chapu knows of a private place you and your friends can sit for a while, woof.”
I looked over to the dormhouse and measured his expression. A slight one-eyed squint signalled I had read his intention correctly. How methodical was this man that he would not even risk committing to a proper wink?
“That will do nicely, but I would hate to impose on anyone…”
He gave a troubled expression, and his lackeys feigned similar levels of apologetic movements.
“No need to worry, woof! The building is empty at this time, woof. Is that acceptable, woof?”
“Preferable, even. Thank you for your assistance.”
Merk and his men—who I assumed were using similar illusions to hide their identity—filed into the dormhouse.
I was curious about their intentions, but lacked the confidence—or idiocy—to try and eavesdrop. I was planning to bring Lily to watch Guy's show anyway, so I could always ask her if the opportunity presented itself.
“Chapu is going now, will you be okay, woof?”
“Yeah, man! Go enjoy yourself, we're pros at this now!”
Larry declared from his position under Soot, who had him pinned to the ground. The children eagerly lined up to ride the lazy boar, and this was apparently the best way Larry could find to keep him still.
He may look incompetent, but Soot wasn’t using his flames, so the position he was in was actually relatively comfortable.
Or so I rationalised before ditching him with Mrs Abigail as she hid behind a four-year-old as they were petting a regular goat.
On my way to the front gate to pick up Lily, I stopped by the greenhouse first.
“Anyone here, woof?”
I called out into the silent garden.
“Just a moment.”
Fleur responded from an unseen portion of the room and emerged, cradling her hand delicately.
There was a thin trail of blood flowing from the tip of her finger and down to her elbow. She was already in the process of wrapping it up and didn't appear particularly bothered by the injury.
“You okay?”
I asked, joining her side as she inspected the rest of her arm.
“Fine. It's a common occurrence for botanists.”
She shrugged it off, but that amount of blood went beyond the simple price of a rose thorn.
“What happened exactly?”
“Poor management. Somebody failed to properly remove a scatterburst flower's petals before it bloomed.”
She beckoned for me to follow along and showed me the incident site. There was soil everywhere, and a sizable hole where I assumed the plant in question was.
“What was this?”
I gestured to the remains of another plant that looked to have had all but the stalk blown off.
“Red thistle. That's what hit me. It's a plant that doesn't require much care, probably why nobody noticed the scatterbloom behind it.”
“Huh. Need a hand cleaning up?”
She shook her head.
“I have little to do as we aren't doing any more tours. I have ample time.”
I looked around slowly, making use of my to scan every nook and cranny.
“Where's Paris?”
I asked, seeing no sign of her, cloaked or otherwise.
“She dismissed herself since there was nothing to do. I haven't seen her in hours.”
“Hm… well, let's forget about that. Wanna come see the show with me?”
Fleur paused for a moment. It looked like she was about to say no, but caught herself at the last moment.
“Sure.”
She finished sweeping up the spilled soil and we left together.
***
After doing the rounds, I ended up with many more followers than expected. Lily, Meztili, Felicia, Oliver, and even Leon wound up getting pulled into our group. We had to split into two aisles to stay together as one group, and I was asked to remove Chapu’s head so I wouldn't block Felicia’s view behind me.
Luckily, no children were in the audience to witness their beloved Chapu’s cruel decapitation.
“Let's hope they do better than yesterday.”
Meztili commented from my side.
“You’ve already seen them once?”
I asked.
“Twice, actually. I came the day before as well.”
“What was wrong with yesterday's performance?”
“During the fight scene between Peten and Florio, the actors got too serious and burned Sebastian's tailcoat. It could have made for a comical scene, but their improv skills were sorely lacking. They panicked and tried to stay on script, even though it made no sense anymore.”
She shook her head as she recalled the experience, referring to our fellow students by their character names, which meant nothing to me. I didn't know yet who was playing who.
“Are you a fan of theatre, Tilly?”
I asked.
“You could say that. In Bastet-Amun, we regularly host performances in honour of our history, and the performers hone their craft with the same fervour and devotion as a royal knight. I often dreamed of joining them in my youth.”
“I'm surprised you didn't volunteer to be a part of this, then.”
“My… condition prevents me from assuming most roles.”
She lightly tugged on a bandaged finger.
“I see.”
My only experience in theatre was from high school, but I did recall learning about a type of theatre performance where everybody wore masks. Did Arden not have something similar?
“Shh! It’s starting!”
Lily slapped the top of my head as she bounced in excitement. I silently squeezed her side until she yelped in pain as revenge.
The curtains opened, revealing a clown who stood centre stage and proudly launched into an introduction.
“Ladies and gentleman, what you are about to bear witness to is a story of star-crossed lovers who, through tenacity and perseverance, seek to overcome the bindings that chain th—the chains that bind them!”
Guy flubbed his line, but didn't linger on it and chugged on admirably.
“This humble jester will be your storyteller today, but he also plays a key role in the tangled tapestry of fateful… fate! Peten is my name!”
He bowed, and his hat fell off to reveal a balding head beneath, eliciting a sensible laugh from the crowd. He must have been wearing a bald cap beneath that hat just for this gag.
Guy swapped between narrator and supporting character, occasionally causing the other actors to freeze in place while he delivered comical interpretations of their inner thoughts.
Zachariah was the lead of the show and never faltered for a moment. He certainly outshone the rest of the cast, although to be fair, he was practically playing himself.
“Ah, my dear Peten, how your japes tickle me so. Yet no matter the light that laughter brings, I find myself seeking more!”
He projected his voice well, enunciating each word with deliberate intent.
“Of course, my Prince! You have so much. From wealth to brains, from brawn to charm, you are the pinnacle of our fair kingdom! But what is a prince, without his princess?”
Guy was hitting his stride too, growing increasingly competent as he pranced around the stage.
They had a back and forth, which could be summarised by simply saying that Prince Victor (Zachariah) decided he needed a wife.
Thus, we were introduced to Lloyd and Bridgit’s characters. Lloyd was the scumbag noble Florio, who wanted to spite the prince by claiming all the fair maidens of the land, preventing Victor's quest for love.
And Bridgit was Sebastian, Florio's begrudging butler who was secretly a woman.
Considering the other roles were all very minor and had little to no lines, it was fairly easy to see where the plot was going. Especially given that the only other female performers were just background characters.
Frankly, it wasn't a great story. Not by earth standards, at least. But the crowd seemed to eat it up. That might just be because Guy wrote about 12 separate scenes where Florio and Prince Victor took their tops off though.
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Yeah, that was probably it. The crowd was almost entirely women after all.
There was one aspect, though, that never failed to amuse me…
“Ah. Victor! You have… come! To fight! Me! The women are mine and belong to me because they are mine! On your guard!”
Lloyd's delivery was unbelievable in its ineptitude. It was as if a plank of wood was given the gift of speech.
“I see Guy cut Florio's speech down to a tenth of the original length. Good.”
Meztili muttered as she watched.
“Florio, in your greed, you have been blinded, missing the existence of the greatest flower of them all. I shall accept your challenge and reveal unto you the error of your ways.”
No matter how horrible his stage partner was, Zachariah did not slack in giving his best performance.
The fight scene that followed began as a clearly staged event complete with fake punches and overly dramatic reactions, but it quickly devolved into a real sword fight.
“Oh no… not again.”
Meztili sighed.
They only had wooden swords, but they were being held by the two top swordsmen in the academy.
Their costumes tore, and violent gusts of wind blew through our hair at each impact.
“Is this all you've got, Florio?”
“Come at me, Zac!”
Lloyd clearly forgot he was still meant to be in character.
The fight was still exhilarating, but the bumbling idiot character that was Florio was not meant to be this competent. The original script probably had him losing immediately, not doing triple backflips and blowing a section of the stage apart with a burst of aura.
“Ah! St-stop! Peten needs to narrate! Freeeeze!”
They ignored Guy completely, and suddenly it became a three-way fight with the clown trying to gain some level of control back.
“Ooooh! Such amazing acrobatics!”
“Hahaha! How hilarious!”
The crowd was enjoying the show, and I certainly felt more engrossed than having to hear Victor pine for love for the hundredth time.
But then Guy threw an unexpected wrench into things.
“Damnit, listen to me! Ah, I know! Chippy! Chapu! We need your help!”
He dived out of the way of the colliding blades and pointed at Lily and me.
“...huh?”
I was stunned, but professionalism took over when I spotted a gaggle of children passing by.
I donned the head of Chapu and stood heroically.
“Look! Look! Chapu’s going to fight the bad guys!”
The children hurried over, cheering in unison as I leapt onto the stage beside Peten.
“Let's go, Chippy! These evil doers, who see violence as the answer to their problems, must be brought to justice, woof!”
“I'm right behind you, Chapu!”
We struck a heroic pose, though Lily’s was a little too suggestive for my liking. At least it won over the male audience members to our side.
“Oh, new challengers have come to stand in my way.”
Zachariah—or rather, Prince Victor—swept his hair out of his eyes, taking the newly added conflict in stride.
“Huh? O-oh, right…”
Lloyd tripped as he quickly stopped himself mid-attack.
“Who dares stand against Florio? A big… dog?”
He pointed his sword at us and spoke in a monotone voice.
We successfully brought the fight to a stop… but what was I meant to do from there? I had no weapon, and I certainly wasn’t going to win with my fists against these monsters. Even with Guy and Lily on my side, what could I really do? I wasn’t going to fuse for this silly play fight, and that alone made me the weakest one on the stage at the moment.
However, I then had a brilliant idea.
“Children! Chapu needs you now, woof! Cheer as loud as you can so Chapu may defeat these evil, greedy men!”
The children immediately began shouting and running forward to jump up and down at the front of the stage.
“Urgh…”
Lloyd cringed at the sight, realising how terrible he would look if he actually tried to win.
“Chapu…”
Prince Victor threw down his sword and embraced me.
“You have shown me the error of my ways. Here I sought to fulfil myself with the empty comfort of another, when all along I should have been working for the people, just like you! Look at how they adore you!”
Zachariah was able to produce a dramatic flow of tears as he loudly declared his appreciation of Chapu.
“...uhhh… hold on—”
Guy broke character and was about to say something, but Lily shoved him out of the way.
“That's right! A good prince does not chase the tail of a mediocre tart! He stands for the whole kingdom, and lets the sweeter treats flock to him!”
Lily pointed at Bridgit with a wide grin as she rolled with Zachariah’s improv.
Bridgit reached for a sword that did not exist and muttered too quietly to be heard. It was undoubtedly some kind of hateful obscenity, though.
I realised, thanks to Lily, that we were in a prime position to screw with the others, so I poured some extra fuel on the fire myself.
“Yes, Prince Victor! You have seen the light, but we must handle this remaining evildoer, woof!”
I delivered a perfect flying axe kick into Lloyd’s side. My soft, plushy attire cushioned the impact, but it still knocked him off balance.
“Wh-what?”
Before Lloyd could voice his confusion, Bridgit drove her knee into his back.
“Ack! Why are you ganging up on me?”
“Hahaha! Get him, Chapu!”
“Beat that bully up!”
With the children's encouraging commentary, we all dog piled Lloyd, who was left unable to defend himself lest he break the kids’ hearts.
After our triumphant victory, Guy took charge once more and fumbled together an on-the-spot epilogue for the chaotic mess of a play.
“A-and so, Prince Victor went on to become… king! Yes, he became king and was really very good at it! And the fair Serena—”
“Who?”
I looked quizzically at Lily, but she only shrugged in response.
“O-oh, right… We didn't get to the gender reveal part this time… ahh… the fierce butler, Sebastian, became Victor's… but…ler…?”
“What about Chapu?”
One of the children yelled.
“Oh! Chapu went on to… I dunno… fight dragons.”
Guy mentally checked out.
“Whoa! Tell us about the dragons!”
The children clambered onto the stage and swarmed Guy.
“Let's leg it.”
I whispered to the others, and we all bolted away, leaving Guy to enjoy his new role as a children's storyteller.
***
“What a disaster…”
Meztili repeated her thoughts for what felt like the hundredth time.
After all was said and done, the final event for the festival was the ‘burning of the blade’. Essentially, a large wicker sword was burned to honour the contestants who would be fighting the next day. From what I understood, it was really just the time when all the lovebirds would start confessing due to some superstition that if their love was true, they were guaranteed success.
For the record, I had seen three young men running away, choking back tears already. It was clearly nonsense.
And in that moment, we were all still too busy discussing the events of the day to worry about such trivialities.
“You made a mockery of theatre.”
Meztili continued her complaint, pointing accusingly at Lloyd.
“Wha—it's fault!?”
“Well… everyone else at least tried to make sense of the chaos.”
Oliver offered his opinion, though still looked between Lily and I like we should be shouldering some of the blame.
“At least it wasn't boring this time.”
Paris chuckled from behind us, having slipped in unnoticed at some point.
“You watched it more than once?”
Axel asked, having also found his way back to campus once the fire began.
“What? Am I not allowed to like a good romantic comedy?”
“Just didn't have you pegged as the type, I ain't judging... Loser.”
He met her challenging glare with a gleeful smirk of his own.
“I can't believe what my masterpiece turned into…”
Guy sobbed, still in costume but without the clown makeup.
“It was an objective success, the kids loved the action, and the crowd thought it was hilarious! Look, we made three times the amount from that last performance.”
Rose was there too; apparently, she was the one in charge of selling the tickets, and she had already finished tallying the daily profits.
“I'm holding in my bag a total of 850 silver pieces, that's eight and a half gold right there!”
She hoisted the sack of coins off her shoulder and let us take a look. It was indeed a lot of money for most, but I felt a little guilty considering my own allowance from Ada. I tactfully chose not to mention that.
“You know what, Guy? My Gift allows me to see the value of something even if it is less than what I can touch. And even with all this money, I can see it isn't even worth a fraction of your artistic talent.”
“R-really?”
“Of course! Don't lose hope, stick with me and you'll be a star, kid!”
I also chose not to point out that Rose’s Gift did work on vague concepts like ‘artistic talents’.
“You two used to be such good kids…”
Lloyd muttered while staring blankly at Rose and me.
“What? We're still good, though?”
Rose cocked her head at him.
“Huh? O-oh… yeah, of course. Uh, excuse me, I think the girls were calling for me.”
“Yeah, yeah, rub it in, Mr perfect cheekbones.”
Guy waved him off dismissively as he abruptly took off.
“Man… doesn't this school have a near 50/50 gender ratio? How is it legal that one man can have so many girls?”
“Life isn't fair, man.”
I offered a comforting pat on his back. It was strange that Guy didn't get more attention, other than his short stature, he seemed like the type of pretty boy that girls from Earth would have loved.
Maybe I just didn't understand the beauty standards of Arden when it came to men, or something.
“Rex… you're one of the good ones, even if you’re the enemy.”
He wiped a tear from his eyes and looked at me with a mixture of resentment and acceptance.
“What?”
I honestly had no idea what he meant by that.
“Just choose one, okay? Don't be greedy.”
“Seriously, what are you on about?”
“It's fine… just don't look at me with that despicably handsome face any longer.”
“...Suuuuure.”
I slowly stepped away from him as he continued to glare at Lloyd and his harem while muttering curses under his breath.
“Hey, Rex, settle our argument for us.”
Lily hooked onto me and pulled me towards a passionately argumentative Bridgit and a silently contemplative Meztili. Between them was Zachariah, whose stoic face and fixed smile were well trained, but I saw the pleasure for help behind those eyes.
“So Bridge thinks Zac should reject everyone, but Meztili thinks he needs to start thinking about an heir, and I want to see the girls pee their pants when he asks one of them to dance. What should he do?”
“Simple. He should nut up and escape the harpies.”
Seeing my own past in Zachariah’s predicament, I pulled him away and used Axel as a shield.
“Heya, cousin. Wanna dance?”
As predicted, Axel intercepted Bridgit, and Lily stuck with the more interesting dynamic they presented rather than pursuing us. Meztili watched quietly, but wasn't invested enough to chase us.
“Haha, thanks for the assistance.”
Zachariah chuckled as we scurried away and hid in the main crowd of students.
“No worries. The crown prince really shouldn't be letting himself get caught up in these shenanigans, though. You'll end up in a loveless arranged marriage if this keeps up.”
“Hahaha!”
He doubled over as he let out a hearty laughter unlike his usual composed self.
“Yes, you’re right, haha! Mother always says the same, despite Father's insistence that I marry for the sake of the kingdom.”
“Sucks to be a prince, huh?”
“Ahaha… that is perhaps truer than you know…”
He trailed off, his golden eyes turned orange as the flames of the bonfire reflected off them.
“This moment should be treasured, Rex.”
He smiled as he stared off into nothingness.
“All this vibrancy, Soleans, Imperials, therians, humans, elves, and vampires… we won't be able to enjoy such a united, free-spirited joy forever…”
Did he know something? It would make sense given his position…
“Zac…”
He turned back to me, his usual smile was back in place, but his eyes remained forlorn.
“Yes?”
I didn't know how to ask. I wasn't sure if I even should. He was the prince of Soleo, and I had firmly decided to side with the Empire. If he were truly involved in the impending attack, we would likely end up as enemies.
And with my personality, would I be able to do nothing if he confided in me?
No. If this young man was fated to oppose me, and I could nip the threat in the bud, then I would.
“Don't regret your choices. Consider your decisions carefully so that you never have to doubt yourself.”
“...Yeah. Thanks for the advice.”
I felt that we both knew at that moment we weren't being direct with each other. But I didn't want to fight this man, who at such a young age must be carrying immense pressures in his daily life.
For one night at least, I hoped that he could forget and let loose.
“I'll give you a gold piece if you dance with Rose. Maybe you'll hit it off and get married one day. Being related to royalty would be pretty sweet.”
I changed the topic with a joke.
“In that case, wouldn't it be easier for to ask sister to a dance?”
“She would incinerate me after seeing my moves.”
“Some girls find clumsy men endearing.”
“And Bridgit is one of those girls?”
“Oh gods no. She'll eat you alive if your footwork is sloppy.”
We shared a laugh.
“Found them!”
Axel’s towering frame stood out in the crowd, and he pointed us out from the other side of the crowd. We were immediately swarmed by the rest of the group.
“Chapu! Don't you dare dance with the prince! Does our bond mean nothing to you?”
Lily clung to my waist and spouted gibberish. For the record, we had all changed back into our uniforms, except for Guy, who wasn't given the time thanks to the kids.
“Chapu has gone to see the world and fight dragons. Get off.”
I shook the world's most annoying devil off my body.
“Speaking of dancing, has everybody got a partner already?”
Axel scanned the crowd, looking a little worried.
“Looks like it. That's what you get for being late.”
Bridgit responded.
“Gah… no way am I missing out. Gotta find a babe…”
He looked left, right, and all around before stopping on Fleur.
“You'll do.”
He grinned and offered a surprisingly graceful bow as he held his hand out.
It was easy to forget that Axel's upbringing would have made this sort of decorum second nature for him.
“Hm. Very well.”
Fleur, without so much as a flicker of emotion, took his hand and allowed him to lead her towards the central area, where many couples were already slow dancing.
“...Brutal.”
Lily nudged me and nodded to Oliver. He had his hood pulled up over his head, a customisation he added to his uniform personally.
I probably should have felt bad for the kid, but I already knew Fleur held no interest in him. This heartbreak was bound to happen sooner or later.
“Hey, Olly, it's alright, we'll find you someo—”
Before Guy could finish, Oliver silently ran out from the crowd and completely left the scene.
“...ah man… should we check on him?”
“No. At times like these, it's better to sort through your thoughts alone. We can check in tomorrow when he's had his space.”
I answered Guy's query.
Oliver was the youngest among us, and I do recall sharing similar experiences in my past life.
“Haaaa… Az… do you have no shame?”
Even Bridgit was feeling sympathetic.
“Kind of ruins the mood, doesn't it?”
Zachariah laughed dryly.
“...Damnit…”
I muttered. He was right, the atmosphere had been soured, and now we all felt too awkward and guilty to enjoy ourselves.
Well, screw that. The night be a happy memory, even if I had to humiliate myself to make it happen.
“Tiara. Let's go.”
Tiara emerged from my jacket. She looked dazed, but was ready to do what was needed.
“Rex? What are you doing?”
I ignored Guy and made my way to the dance area, earning a few derisive giggles due to being the only person without a partner.
Without a word, I held Tiara’s paw out with one hand and began to dance while holding her close to my chest.
I had no other feet to trip on, yet even so, I somehow made my mock imitation of ballroom dancing look like an impersonation of a lame flamingo in the throes of death.
“Pfft!”
Lily openly snickered, her knees knocking together as she clutched her skirt.
“Stop! Hahaha! You're gonna make me pee!”
She continued.
I squatted down, putting Tiara’s feet on the ground and holding her front paws to make it look like she was dancing with me.
“...hehe…”
A slight chuckle from Meztili.
“Rex…”
Guy walked out alone into the dance area.
“Please allow me the honour of taking this maiden's hand in the next dance.”
He offered Tiara a hand, which she instinctively began to lick.
“Be gentle, she is a delicate lady.”
I responded, passing her over to him.
Guy began to perform a much more impressive dance, his arms flowing with an unseen rhythm as Tiara skipped and leapt between his shoulders and atop his head.
“Ah, to think I missed out on such a fine woman!”
Zachariah joined our show and dramatically declared his regrets.
“Come, dear sister, let us bless this divine creature with a dance of royals.”
“This is so stupid.”
Despite the complaint, Bridgit was holding back laughter too as she took her brother’s hand. The twins likely grew up practising this all their lives, and their flawless moves that complemented one another outshone everybody else in the moment.
Before long, the lot of us had carved out our own place in the centre. Those around us didn’t know what to make of the scene, as we all ignored tradition and moved to our own beat.
At some point, Felicia, Axel, and Fleur had joined in.
It was a good thing the rumour was total nonsense, as this many partners sounded like more of an inconvenience than anything. But interpreting it in another way, could it not mean that our group would stick together no matter what?
Just for the night, I allowed that unlikely delusion to take root in my mind, and we made the most of our time.
