With a deep breath once through my nose, holding for a few moments before releasing the held breath. The pungent smell of silver pine smoke fills my nose along with the scent of the horses and people sitting around the fire. Their presence remains a constant in the back of my awareness. The crackling of the damp wood, and the hushed or just distant words from a language I don't understand, all of that never leaves any part of my awareness, not the bear, elk, or firebearer. Shaking my head briefly I continue to breathe to sink deeper into self awareness, leaving all but what's needed for safety.
The bear makes their opinion known first before I even become aware of any if there are any changes between now and the last time I had come to focus on myself. The bear doesn't want to travel with the group. I don't know their true intentions, and why they need someone to watch them. What is their purpose here, traders only appear on the longest night why are they here now months away. Why choose you for their guide if they truly need someone like that. They must know what a hybrid is if they're trading with the tribes, they have to know you can not join near the tribes and tents.
The firebearer wants to join them briefly at first to learn what they are here for and why but, journeying with them would also be nice. Being alone for this long already has been getting harder and harder for me the longer I stay alone. It would already be worse if I couldn't somewhat speak to myself in this process, but that isn't the goal of this and I don't want to end up like Garince, if I continue to want myself to stay split just for conversation, a reprieve from the loneliness.
The elk wants to join them. They clearly are in need of better leadership than what they currently have and who better to prove that than me. I've lived in these forests my entire life though mostly around the cliffs, and I'm sure learning their language couldn't be hard. The man who was speaking to me must not have focused that hard on learning Salkin to barely be able to speak to me and thinking that a proposal is the right way to ask me to join them.
After spending more time going over all of the thoughts and choices that my parts have gone over. The bear agrees to join them at least until the longest night and the festival that follows. Even if they pose a problem, traveling with them should be easy even if they betray me. They look like weak statics, and not like those that the elders had warned and told stories about. They all should be easy except that woman.
With the single thought about her the rest of myself focuses on her. She's interesting, I've never heard or seen any person like that before. She seemed to blend into the forest around her, very interesting. What could she have meant that the group she travels with wouldn't like me, and that it would be more trouble for her to speak to me if she just left them alone for this test that she had given the group.
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The firebearer is curious about her position and the group is so hesitant and shocked at her intervention in our conversation. No other traders that had been around the longest night had someone like that or was I simply blind to them. I would have never caught a glimpse of her if she hadn't been laughing when I asked for someone who could speak better. Those traders could have also had those following behind them hidden that I was never able to see. Especially with how far away the adults kept away the unawakened.
The bear huff, he has little interest in the woman beside the possible threat she poses though once I have her scent that will disappear no longer being able to sneak up on us. But her lack of weapon besides her horribly placed horns for defense on her head. That can only mean a few things to keep watch for. Though maybe she has things hidden away in her armor or robes or whatever those that she was wearing are called.
With those thoughts finished the bear lets out a bugle instead of the usual roar, that stops the elk from answering with their thoughts. That response causes me to actually view myself and things have changed a lot more than it has been. The bear has a longer neck almost as long as the elks, and its face seems shaped closer to my true form's a mash of elk, bear and firebearer. Though the rest of me also have had their faces changed to more closely match my true form but all are different from the bears. Probably since they're starting from different points.
The elk has grown more toes matching closer to my hands and paws, then its legs have begun to change as well, changing to be able to bear more weight in the back legs and drop the back foot down like the firebearer and bears. Unlike the bear's and firbearer's face which has been changed to a somewhat decent match the elk hasn't been as fortunate. Sharp teeth and fangs have grown before the lips leaving them displayed for the rest of me to see. The eyes are halfway forward and halfway to the side giving it a weird and strange point of view.
The firebearer is the most changed, covered head to toe in thick fur, hands and feet having claws even though those claws are tiny unusable for anything besides digging and even then that would be a struggle. Though the most prominent thing is the antlers that now rest on its head almost the same size as the elks with the eye guard almost fully formed, but unlike the elk's the firebear's antlers are still in the velvet. All of me let out noises taken from each other. The bear lets out the elks chuckle, the elk lets out a deep belly laugh from the firebearer and the firebearer rumbles and growls like the bear.
Antlers still in the velvet, a sign of growth, a very obvious sign, showing that none of this is done, and I will keep growing and get better. The brief point of almost no progress or barely any had left me frustrated and scared of being stuck with a chance of growing hatred at myself like Garince but no, I am growing. Drifting out of this state I move to lay on my stomach with a smile on my lips, it's time to grow more than just getting to know myself better but to learn more and face an unknown.
