"How are things even surviving in here?" Wade gestured at the tunnel ahead of them, where the angry isopod was now camping above given the fat health bar was still visible. "The mana pressure's completely toxic to life in general right, why is stuff like that a thing down here?"

  Fortunately, that health bar hadn't started to tick up, so at least they had that going for them.

  Medy uncurled from her position, head looking up. "Oh, nobody really knows how they work, but we have a lot of theories! General one is that they're all hyperspecialized for this environment, like, extremophiles? It means organisms that can't sur- oh, you do know that word? That's pretty obscure, you really learned demonic better than some people I know."

  "Well, I'm kind of cheating with that too." Wade said, rolling a finger.

  "Oh. Like the-dodge-roll-thing-you-did cheating? I still can't believe how that thing works. I've seen you do it plenty of times now but it still…"

  "Feels weird?"

  "Yeah." She gave him another look, and Wade realized he could see puffs of air coming out of her mouth. All the running around and adrenaline had made him forget to even feel basic things, like temperature.

  The Arcane Realm was cold. Not quite freezing, but cold enough he could feel his nose and cheeks would turn red soon enough.

  Though he'd probably be long dead before that became any kind of issue.

  "You having the same kind of thing with your language makes a lot of sense in hindsight." Medy continued, clearly at ease with the local temperature. "Your demonic is basically perfect."

  "You know, I have a better idea." He lifted a finger up, then pointed it straight at Medy. "Let me show you how it works directly."

  "You can make other people speak demonic?"

  "Not just demonic. Any language. Watch," Wade mimed his finger gun at her, which she of course would not understand the meaning of in any way. But it was dramatic, and Wade was going to find the fun in anything he could manage. "Ahem: You. Get a blessing. Free of charge, consider it part of the employee sign-on package."

  She frowned for a moment, then looked around, more confused. "Did you do something?"

  "I absolutely did. And you should be understanding this." Wade said, in english.

  "Well, yeah, I do und-" Her eyes widened. "Did I just sp- Oh, I did. Wow. That really is cheating! How does that even work?"

  Medy looked down at her hands, as if searching for something different, before looking around herself, at her tail, and then searching over her arms.

  "It's in your head I think." Wade said. "It's nothing physical at least. Here, I even got more to show you."

  He once more did his finger gun at her, with the same roguish tilt that Eri had done.

  Medy widened her eyes. "Tha- what? Oh, my head. That's a lot of strange info all at once, even for me."

  The blessing had both told her what a gun was, what it was used for in Earth culture, what the sign language meanings of it could be, and what Wade was actually trying to signal by giving her that rakish finger gun. All that in under a second too.

  "It's going to be your secret weapon over on Earth, you'll be able to understand what everyone's saying."

  Also, there would be certain demons on Earth who'll be well and truly pissed Medy was getting this blessing for free without any subscription or even haggling.

  "Yeah," She trailed off, thinking. "But that makes no sense. I don't know any ordered magic that can affect a mind, even free magic has a lot of limits to that kind of thing. How does this System thing of yours bypass fundamental laws of nature and mana? Like you need a catalyst to focus on, like a contract or blood magic. But that's got a willing participant and we're pretty sure it affects the soul instead of the mind an- Oh sorry, I'm rambling again." Then her eyes lit up again. "But I'm rambling in English!" She seemed extremely pumped by that, like a kid playing with a new toy. She even began to rock in place, knees up to her chest in her rolled up position, with a wide goofy grin on her face as she went through all the possible things this could do.

  Nevermind the fact they were in an environment that was slowly killing them, surrounded by monsters that wanted to eat them preferably before they died from the environment.

  Wade had an odd feeling Medy was still going to be equally as excited if she saw a squirrel running around here with a bushy enough tail to catch her attention.

  The more Wade thought about how insane this place was to survive in, with even the System giving it outright impossible difficulty, the more he felt his adrenaline start spiking upwards.

  He felt a hand wrap around his wrist, and he looked up to see Medy looking very much worried for him.

  "I'm fine, all good." Wade said, exhaling. "You know, it's just a typical happy weekday hike out here, right? Minus everything that makes a nature hike fun. And instead of the possible deer or ducks by the lakes, we got giant monsters who want to eat us. Case in point, Mister Rolly Polly is still waiting up there for round two. Is it one of those things where it stays up there forever?"

  Medy had heard all of that, and the only thing she was focused on was the important bit: "Whoa… I want to see ducks! They actually fly? I wonder what kind of essences I'd find in their feathers, might even be more potent than drakes or maybe even a dragon if ducks can actually fly by themselves without any magic…"

  She'd trailed off after that, her new blessing giving her bits of information on what deer and ducks were on Earth. They had deer here, or the closest variation of that animal, but no ducks.

  And then Medy snapped off, head actually catching up with the rest of Wade's earlier question.

  "Wait, it's still there?" Medy looked up to the wall ahead. "How can you tell?"

  "It's got a fat health bar above it from my point of view." Wade pointed a finger, up and to the right slightly. "That's where it's waiting at."

  Medy hummed. "Oh. That health bar thing. Do you have anything that lets me see that too?"

  This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

  "Nope. Just languages and knowing any of them. So these things aren't supposed to hang around?"

  "Not really? Those things usually clear off after I hide in these spots, I've never had anything sit around and wait for me to leave. Why's it waiting?"

  Wade had the answer. "We've got a debuff that's drawing monsters to us, so it might be affecting how the wildlife here act. Question before we panic about this, are there any factions down here, or is it just every monster for itself? More specifically: Does it have friends that we should know about?"

  It would also be good to know more about the lure debuff they were under. Would monsters all sit still together and aim for them first because the lure forced them to hyperfocus, or would it just attract them all in general terms?

  "Most creatures here are solitary, I think." Medy stayed quiet for a moment, trying to hear if the critter above was still here like the mortal had said. "I haven't read any books about what their lifecycles are like here, it's a bit impossible to study a lot of things in the arcane realm when it comes to wildlife, you know?"

  "On account of the biting?"

  "On account of the biting." She agreed. "I did hear about a few scholar expeditions that attempted to map out some of the arcane realm, or at least study something. I haven't actually seen what they brought back or wrote about, but I do know they weren't sent back for another expedition after they returned. I don't think they brought back enough to justify funding another trip here. The ritual to get here is pretty expensive reagent wise and also takes an hour just for the incantation, and… it's probably not the best time to talk about that, right?" She gave him a nervous glance, saw and felt no hostility from the mortal, and relaxed slightly.

  Wade gave her a bemused shrug. "My current plan's pretty simple, we wait here until something else comes by and starts a turf war with the roly poly. After that, we check on if we can kill that thing, and the risk reward returns from that."

  His intuition warned against picking a fight with an anti-mobility opponent, while running a mobility-focused build. Sure, he could escape one spit trap with a roll, but doing so would chunk his stamina considerably.

  Whatever else was out there, it could be more dangerous but less prepared to take on Wade's finely honed bullshit combat techniques.

  But... perhaps getting a second opinion would be a good idea.

  Wade really didn't want to involve the NEETess, but when dealing with life-or-death situations, he needed every scrap of information available, and there was a slim, but non-zero, possibility that she would have actual advice.

  Wade pulled his phone out, unlocking it to find Play had already texted him.

  Let me guess, you need MY wisdom now? (???)

  Wade sighed. "… Is it me pulling my phone out that tipped you off?"

  Medy looked over to him at the same moment, "Hey, that reminds me! You could read Demonic right? On the sign posts. Does that mean I can read english now?"

  It did, and Wade proved it by tilting his phone over to her.

  "Oh! I can read those words now! Wow, that's fascinating. And this is that Play god then? Goddess, I mean. I don't really get a lot of the game stuff, but I do know a minor divinity of games and stories would probably be a thing."

  ofc I'm a thing (???╬)

  I'm the only reason Michael here is still kicking around tyvm. My advice is always right you know

  "She's a pest living in a basement." Wade said. "Who happens to be good at games and she helps double check I'm on the right track for very specific things. Just need to remember she's an amoral psychopath who only cares about powergaming, so the advice she gives needs to be taken with a grain of salt."

  "That's so weird." Medy answered. "Your world has an easy enough access to salt you have an idiom for it? Wow."

  I'm willing to ignore all that earlier undeserved blasphemy and bestow my divine knowledge upon your mortal soul, but I'm expecting you to ask real nicely.

  "And that would be?"

  Something befitting of the gracious goddess I am ┐(￣ヮ￣)┌

  How about 'Oh great and beautiful Play, wisest of all gods, how might this lowly mortal survive another five minutes?'

  Wade stared at the screen.

  "Oh my god. Play. I'm not saying all that. Just tell me if staying here and waiting for something else to be lured and fight the rolly polly is a good plan or if I'm missing something critical in all this? It's too low level to give a challenge gauntlet, but it'll still kill me in one stab. I don't want to waste bullets or grenades on that thing unless I absolutely have to."

  Three dots appeared immediately.

  I didn't hear any kind of pleading, bribing or groveling here Michael. Rules are rules.

  "Naw, I got the answer just from that. Thanks," He turned up to Medy. "We're staying here."

  (???╬)

  Are you sure about that?

  "If I was in actual danger, you'd be giving advice first and then later telling me you told me so. So that means staying here isn't dangerous in some way."

  Plus if he made the choice out loud like this and it wasn't the correct one, Play would be baited into correcting him anyhow.

  Which she promptly did.

  The roly poly isn't your problem. You said it yourself, it's level 38. Bael could solo that thing with his gear and spellcasting. Eri would merk it in 30 seconds flat

  Honestly you're right that it's not even worth wasting bullets on lol

  That was all good info to know, except Play wouldn't tell him these answers like this unless she was building up to something. "… So what's my actual problem?"

  Your actual problem is Mr. Not-so-sneaky Assassin cosplaying as Leon. With all of Leon's current player boons. Plus he know how to use them. Plus plus, he also said he's hunting you down when you're too sick to fight back. imo, he sounds pretty trustworthy about that lmao

  Wade's stomach dropped. He'd almost forgotten about the shapeshifter in the chaos of nearly dying to mana poisoning and giant centipedes.

  "He's going to follow. Fuck."

  Yeah, he's absolutely going to follow you here, duh. I'm more worried about him being a Player. That means access to System items and other dangerous stuff. Lot to deal with.

  "...What's the part you're most worried about?"

  That he didn't speak english.

  Wade remembered. Not-Leon spoke Nathir. Which was an extinct language that nobody should be speaking. Except…

  "You think he might be a golem instead of a player? Like a terminator-type thing that's supposed to look human and hunt slaves down?"

  Plenty of possible theories at this point, could be a magic T-800 like you think, nobody really knows how many things the Nathir could do. Or it could be someone who got tossed into the city with you all, and they got an item or boon that let them learn Nathir. My intuition says there's a thread here to pull on here, except we don't have any other info besides that.

  "Right. All we know is that the nametag shows a Player, it know enough about boons to use Leon's. And has System items, probably from chests or the storefront."

  Probably not the storefront. Some of those items are absolutely not starter gear lol. Got to be chests. Which means the T-800 idea is probably on the low end

  "Is he already hunting after us now?"

  Naw, I'd bet he's taking his sweet time

  "And you say that because?"

  Because why rush when your targets are dying from the environment anyway? No chance he tossed you here just by luck. Smart move tbh, I'd do the same thing

  "When's he coming Play?"

  When you're too weak to fight back, duh. So use your body as a timer (?????)?

  When you start puking, that's your sign to gtfo

  Wade looked at his current mana bar. And it did still read insane numbers as it had before.

  At this point, that part of the System character stat screen was functionally useless to him.

  The real information he needed was in his debuffs.

  And it was still counting down. He probably only had an hour before the first symptoms started to hit. After that, three to four hours till death.

  "Everything alright?" Medy asked, peering at the glowing phone screen as she read the last text sent.

  "Play says the isopod's not our biggest problem." Wade pocketed the phone. "The guy that threw us here can follow. She thinks he's waiting until we're too sick to fight back."

  Wade looked out the tunnel, considering options on how to deal with the camping Isopod up there that would basically no-sell his speed the moment he popped his head outside.

  "We can't hang out here forever. Main point is that we need to get to that camp faster."

  His phone buzzed one more time, and despite his better intuition telling him not to, he pulled the phone out just in case Play actually said something important.

  Next time, I'm making you say the full groveling before I dispense my sagely wisdom, consider this one a freebie ?(>??)

  He really should have just listened to his gut.