Elijah lashed out with his fists, trying his hardest to fight Tom off. His vision was still blurry from the pain, and all he could see of Tom was his dark outline. He refused to be taken without a fight again, refused to let Tom torment him again. He’d fight until Tom killed him.

  Elijah > Tom’s here! He’s got me!

  He sent the message off quickly before closing the chat box and focusing his efforts on fighting the man off. He could hear Bo’s voice, distant and hollow.

  Why wasn’t Bo rushing in to help? Tom might be at a higher level and have a Celestial-tier class, but that didn’t mean they shouldn’t try.

  Tom wasn’t trying to hurt him, just hold him down and stop Elijah from hurting himself or Tom. That registered in Elijah’s mind as the maniac trying to kidnap him again; he would not let that happen.

  He got an arm free and struck at the man’s face, or where his face should be. Just before his fist made contact, the hazy shadow around the other man’s face vanished.

  It wasn’t Tom at all; it was Bo in his Wraith form.

  Bo released Elijah and stumbled backwards, his hand cupping his face as blood poured from his broken nose.

  “Bo, I…” He didn’t know what to say. He’d struck one of his best friends while in the midst of a panic attack.

  Just then Nicholas came rocketing through the air. He must have jumped, or pushed off a log, and used his ‘Dash’ ability. He landed, sending up a shower of dirt with his shield bared. His head was on a swivel, looking for signs of the enemy.

  Benjamin followed his appearance teleporting in, hands already crackling with the black energy of a ‘Dark Blast’. There was no fear in the young man’s face, just grim determination to protect his friends as he hovered over the prone form of Elijah.

  “Where is he?” Sasha yelled, appearing from the tree line and coming to a stop beside Bo. She’d traded out her staff for her hair sticks, fully ready for a fight she had no hope of winning.

  “Not Tom,” Bo mumbled through a mouthful of blood. “Panic attack. Mistook me for him in my Wraith form.”

  Elijah couldn’t hear Bo through the sound of his own heart pounding in his ears. He couldn’t get it to slow down, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t steady his breathing. It felt like he was drowning again, unable to catch his breath.

  He’d punched Bo while the man was just trying to help him up. What if that had been Sasha or Benjamin? He’d never forgive himself.

  Sasha kneeled beside him; through the haze of his senses he could feel her hand on his back—gentle and soothing. It didn’t help. He felt himself spiraling, his body reacting with fear of hurting his friends. Being the cause of their pain the way ‘he’ had caused pain to Elijah.

  The smell of blood filled his nostrils, catching his limited attention for a moment. One key moment. Bo was beside him. Kneeling down next to him, his hand on Elijah’s shoulder. Not Tom, not Wraith Bo, human Bo. Blood still covered his face.

  “It’s alright,” Bo whispered, just loud enough for Elijah to hear over the sound of his panic. “Nothing a little healing magic can’t solve.”

  It took several long minutes before Elijah calmed himself down enough to think. Sasha helped him to breathe, leading him through with steady, deep breaths.

  “I’m sorry, guys,” he finally said once he’d caught his breath. “I guess I’m not ready to be back out here yet.”

  “Let’s not jump to conclusions,” Nicholas answered, kneeling down next to Elijah. His heavy frame sent shakes through the ground. “Walk us through what happened. Let us be there for you.”

  Elijah told them. Starting with his last-ditch effort to stall the boss, his failed teleport, and his panic when he thought Tom was repeating his capture attempt.

  They listened quietly, taking it all in as Elijah spoke.

  Nicholas shook his head. “Elijah, you have to start thinking more tactically. What would have happened if your spell hadn’t worked the way you wanted it to? You’d have been completely drained and weakened.”

  It wasn’t the soft, vulnerable way that Rose had spoken to him while psychoanalyzing him. It was a brutal, honest truth from a battlefield commander. And that was exactly what Elijah needed right now. Not to be coddled and told everything was going to be okay.

  Nicholas turned to the rest of the team. “Elijah is not only our best asset when it comes to utility, but he’s our primary goal. How can we work together to help him so we don’t wind up like this again?”

  Elijah was stunned. Nicholas was talking about treating him like a child; babying him through encounters. That made him feel absolutely miserable, like he was more of a liability than an asset.

  Nicholas noticed the sour look on his face. “Friends help their friends. We can’t afford to keep sitting idle and hoping you get over your trauma. That probably won’t happen anyway. What we can do though is mitigate triggers.”

  “Makes it sound like you think I’m a basket-case ready to explode at a moment’s notice.”

  Nicholas glared at him. “First of all, shut up. Second, that’s derogatory. Don’t say things like that. Mental health isn’t a joke, whether in the real world or here in-game. If you treat it like it is, then I’m going to take you right back to Rose so she can knock some sense into you.”

  The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

  Elijah felt sufficiently chastened and closed his mouth.

  Benjamin suggested that the first thing to do was to stop Elijah from doing stupid things like burning all his mana in one big flashy spell.

  “Good call,” Nicholas grunted. “From now on, Elijah doesn’t drain his mana bar below a quarter unless I give the order.”

  “Wait a minute, I—”

  “He doesn’t fight solo either. When Tom eventually comes for him again, he’s going to need backup.” Suggested Sasha.

  “Hold on—” Elijah tried to interject, only to be cut off by Nicholas.

  “Agreed. Anything else?”

  “Boss not bathe by self!” Bitter Root suggested.

  The group stopped and turned toward the goblin, glaring at him. The silence stretched out for several moments before Bo chuckled.

  “Good plan, Bitter Root. You’re on Boss bathing duty,” Bo chuckled.

  The little menace’s ears twitched in delight. “Me like plan.”

  Nicholas pinched the bridge of his nose. “We are not adding bathing supervision to the tactical plan,” he grumbled.

  “Yet,” Bo added with a grin.

  Elijah couldn’t help but let out a soft laugh, surprising himself. Bitter Root’s input was exactly what he needed to break the tension and open him up to the plan the party was putting together.

  “Okay, so,” he held up a finger. “No expending my mana below a quarter.”

  A second finger went up. “No running off on solo actions while in the field.”

  “And no sneaking up on him, especially when tension is high,” Bo added, wiping the blood from his face.

  “Good point,” Nicholas said with a nod. His eyes glazed over as he focused on the menu. “Now give me a minute, I still need to decide what loot I want to pick.”

  Elijah felt bad for a moment. His little panic attack had interrupted his friend’s excitement about their boss kill loot. Sasha tilted her head towards him and stepped away from the rest of the group. Nicholas was going over his options with Bo and Benjamin. He stepped away from them and followed her to the side.

  “You need to stop worrying about me so much, Elijah,” she whispered. “Nicholas had it under control, and you were recovering from Mana Drain. You should have stayed put.”

  Her voice was quiet, but her tone was stern. “If this,” her finger pointed back and forth between the two of them. “Is going to be a liability for you, then we need to talk to Rose about taking my place in the party. Or some other healer.”

  That hurt Elijah more than he would have liked to admit. His concern over a party member shouldn’t be considered a liability, and he hated she was even considering leaving her friend group because of him. “The party doesn’t work without you, Sasha. We need you with us if we’re going to keep winning.”

  “We won’t keep winning if you do something stupid any time you think I’m in danger,” she hissed. “Would you have done something so reckless if it were Nicholas in danger? Or Bo?”

  Elijah had to stop and think about that. He’d never asked himself that question and truthfully wasn’t sure if he would have. Regardless of what he would like to think.

  “I would,” he answered, though even as he spoke the words, he wasn’t sure his answer was the truth.

  She let out a sigh of frustration at him. “Something we both forget sometimes is that this is all a game. Yes, dying sucks and it really isn’t something I want to experience more than I have to, but it isn’t permanent. You can’t put yourself into more danger, or risk having a panic attack in combat, just because you are worried one of us will be killed.”

  She looked away from him at the rest of the group; he followed her gaze to where Bo was standing. “You scared the hell out of me back during the fight against Whir. When Bo died.”

  His thoughts drifted back to what she was talking about. When Bo had been sneak-attacked by one minion, he’d lost it.

  “I’m sorry I scared you, Sasha,” he whispered, his eyes catching the pain on her face.

  She shook her head, her eyes locked with his. They seemed to bore into his very soul, a silent plea for him to do better. “I don’t need an apology, Elijah. I need to know you understand the stakes and reality that we are living under.”

  There was a flicker in her eyes, and for a fraction of a moment her eyes glazed as if they were checking a menu. “You can’t save everyone. And you shouldn’t hurt yourself trying.”

  She reached out and took his hand, squeezing it once before letting it go. Without another word, she left him standing there and returned to the rest of the party. Bo was nearly finished choosing an item, and soon it would be her turn, based on the discussion.

  He sat down on the hard ground and really thought about what she’d said. He knew he couldn’t save everyone; Elizabeth Agee had been proof of that. She had died because he failed to save her, and that had taken weeks of downtime to come to terms with. It should be easier to cope with the thought of his friends dying; after all, as Rose had pointed out, they were essentially immortals in this world.

  But there was another layer to her words that he doubted she had meant. He couldn’t save everyone in this game. He had little doubt in his mind that by the time he eventually reached Celestial-tier and logged everyone out that there would be those he had to leave behind.

  Digital ghosts.

  He opened the menu for his nutrient tanks. Unchanged from the last time he’d looked at them. Still reading completely empty. Even if that were because of some contingency plan dreamed up by Shardline, he couldn’t rule out that there were some people who wouldn’t make it. Pods weren’t designed for more than three or four months of immersion, and it could be years before he accumulated enough experience to reach the threshold of ultimate power.

  Thirteen-million experience points. That number seemed so far away from the thirteen-thousand he’d managed in the last two months. Sure, the experience would ramp up as they leveled, but it would still be a long journey.

  Bitter Bat appeared at his side and climbed into his lap. “Boss need hug?”

  Elijah let a smile creep across his face as he hugged the creature. After several minutes he let go, patting his familiar on the head and getting to his feet. Bitter Root was in the middle of his party, loudly arguing about something with Benjamin.

  “Me just saying if Boss give Bitter Root teleport power, you not needed no more,” Bitter Root snarked at the young mage.

  “I do a lot more for this party than just teleporting them around,” Benjamin retorted.

  The goblin waved it off. “Pretty boy just mad he team bus driver.”

  “Root, stop harassing Benjamin. I’m absolutely not giving you the power to teleport, so we still need him,” Elijah said, earning a scowl from both the mage and the goblin.

  Nicholas clapped Elijah on the shoulder and smiled. “Benjamin asked that we change the plans slightly. Have your bats recovered enough to bunny hop him over to Mara’s Bastion so he can teleport us all over there?”

  Elijah cocked his eyebrow at the mage, wondering why they were returning to a city so soon. The man simply shrugged his shoulders. He would not reveal his secret that easily.

  Turning his senses inward, he could sense the bats were recovering. They seemed to spawn from within his shadow, feed off the trickle of mana, then spawn more from themselves. An exponential replenishment. He held his hand out to the mage.

  “Yeah, I think I can manage it. Let’s get the bus driver a new route.” He grinned at Benjamin, who scowled at him but took his hand.

  Bats swirled around them and carried them off towards Mara’s Bastion.