—Sally—

  With my identity crisis… dealt with for now, I could finally deal with the positives. But that little bump to my [Wisdom] was also very interesting. Though the unfortunate conclusion I reached from it appearing just after resolving my sense of self, and the clue the System had given me, was that [Wisdom] increased through introspection.

  I did not like that. Shit, I'd survived high school through careful ignorance of myself—not knowing why I was miserable made it so much easier to ignore. It reassured myself that I was 'normal'. Though, now that I was no longer bound by normal, why should I-

  No… There were plenty of good reasons to stay 'normal', at least as normal as an infant dragon could be. I didn't want to weird out Orion.

  But! The big reveal I'd been waiting for… Show me [Heart of the Ouroboros]!

  [Heart of the Ouroboros - [Talent]]

  [Heard, Seen, Spared. A seal of approval. For what? Who knows.]

  [This [Talent] anchors your soul, binding it to your heart with magics unknown. It reeks of endings, contrasted by a well of vitality, of nature's alluring scent, and the tightest bond two things can share. These paradoxical traits are only maintained through a strange connection maintained by the Ouroboros's nature.

  This [Talent] has three aspects, which could contain hidden trenches yet unknown to the Path. All things related to the Ouroboros are murky by nature of their depths.

  

  
• 
  
    Unceasing heart: The beating core of the eternal ages
  
    


  

  Your heart is imbued with endlessness, and will never stop beating. As long as it does, your [Soul] is bound to it, and can never escape it.

  

  
• 
  
    Spirit form: The Path goes where the body cannot
  
    


  

  Your [Soul] is capable of taking on a [Spirit form], able to wander wherever it is pulled. The form your spirit takes is heavily influenced by [Mark of the Dragon, Pendant].

  

  
• 
  
    Soul Heart: Body and Soul, now one and the same
  
    


  

  Due to the closeness of your [Soul] and heart, you are capable of imbuing more than just your [Soul]'s core essence, and the mana from the peripheries of your [Soul] is now accessible. This means you have the ability to imbue essences into the abilities you use, or into your [Soul Bond]ed partner's skills.]

  I re-read it a few times, my excitement cooling each time I did so. Now, there were some interesting aspects to it that had exciting possibilities, but for the life of me, I couldn't help but be disappointed.

  [Unceasing Heart]? Try as I might, I couldn't see anything actually applicable about it, it looked like more of a neat looking paperweight. It reminded me of those video-game items that looked neat and had a great backstory, but ranked 'f' on most min-maxers' tier-lists. Probably a very situational, niche counter to a soul-sucking enemy or something. It didn't even give me extra [Constitution]…

  [Spirit Form] did seem more interesting, but as far as I could tell, I couldn't activate it by myself—making it a passive skill. While becoming a spirit temporarily sounds useful, and an easy way to find hidden secrets, it's locked behind a knowledge-based paywall for now.

  [Soul Heart] is the only one that has something I can use right now, though it's heavily tied to [Soul Bond] by the looks of it.

  Fuck. Ing. Hell. My only usable reward was a support skill…

  I might've actually gotten a worse [Talent] than Orion had, and if his was ranked 'D' by the rest of the transmigrators, then mine might be F-ranked.

  It did have the redeeming factor of upgrading my current abilities, which could be useful later. Keywords 'could be' and 'later', because even if I did get a good attack skill 'later', would it even still be there? Because my current plans for the future did not have the [Soul Bond] in it, and I don't know if this skill would survive in its current form without it.

  So, in the end, I had a skill that did nothing, a passive I didn't know how to activate, and a skill that needed time to scale, but probably wouldn't be around that long. All in all, not worth the acid-trip, mild fracturing of my personality, and internal dread of wondering if I was the same person from this morning… Which I…

  …

  Didn't it also say that something happened to my col-… necklace?

  [Using [Appraisal – Level 1] on: [Mark of the Dragon, Pendant]]

  [Mark of the Dragon, Pendant – Level 5 Accessory]

  [An enchanted necklace, holding the slowly merging remnants of a Soul.]

  [A promise made, a trinket exchanged.

  Held until death, then she lost the faith.

  Will you keep it? The words made secret?

  While the choice was strange, it made for perfect exchange.

  Sin, Ranger had done, but sky-scale companionship was won,

  Souls conjoined, from blighted soil a bond Anointed.

  A new Bloom, opposing natures grafted in life's loom.

  The suffocated Scion, sliced into the trunk marked by Detestation.

  But despite the ill-fitted natures, the first leaves survived the fires.]

  [Enchantments:

  ? Fairy Dragon's charms:

  Through your deepening [Attune]ment with the pendant, you exude a presence extremely similar to that of the once-living Deer-woman, but is now distinctly yours. You exude an elusive beauty, one that only grows with your [Soul] and [Level]s, obvious to all onlookers, regardless of sex or race. As time goes on, it’d almost be impossible to not have a presence that captivates onlookers, doubly so for those subject to your sexual attraction.

  Support the creativity of authors by visiting Royal Road for this novel and more.

  ? Celebrate where no worries can follow:

  When you bless a festival, anxieties, fears, and all burdensome thoughts are left at the entrance. Sometimes, there is little point in knowing that you will die tomorrow, so enjoy what time you have left. Alleviates all participants of worries and self-imposed restraints, allowing for all desires to be expressed without concern.

  As your [Soul] increases, the effects become stronger, and can affect stronger individuals. As your [Level] increases, you become more capable of resisting this effect, if you are willing to.

  ? Draconic Mark:

  Your draconic mark has formed in this pendant and collar, such that no matter what form you take, it will always be present on your body, in one shape or another.]

  I noted that the only changes were small, and my item had only gained a new trait called [Draconic Mark]—which seemed to be cosmetic. I inspected the stone still strapped to me by the weave of leather strips wrapped around my neck, and saw that it had changed. A new etching had appeared on its front, a very simple one that showed a dragon curled in a circle, wings flared as most of its body formed a ring. But not completely.

  It almost showed an exact copy of the symbol of a snake biting its own tail, but it had a variation—the dragon's head didn't complete the cycle. It had been flipped horizontally at the neck, looking forward instead of twisting back to bite its own tail.

  Yet again, it seemed that my big reward was a cosmetic reskin of something I already barely had any use for. Though, it was nice to remember that I have something nice to look forward to when I find people that I could progress my life with. In a, 'let's have fun, drink and do stupid things' way that Orion and a group of emaciated villagers weren't able to.

  "S-Sally?" Orion hesitantly called out, becoming a thankful distraction from my muddy thoughts. Though that positivity was short-lived when I remembered what'd happened.

  "Yes?" I responded, noticing that my control over my vocal abilities had progressed once again, and feeling pleased by the progress my voice had taken. I think that my ability to speak improves whenever I absorbed more of the [Mental-Framework], along with the rest of my fine-motor control.

  "Is everything okay?" He asked, the ranger slowly shifting in his chair as he shook off the vestiges of sleep. I observed him carefully, watching him stretch out his stiff muscles as I looked for signs of guilt.

  I realised that I might not actually be losing my ability to read humanoid body language—at least I hoped I wasn't. Because now that I had the villagers to remind me what normal people were like, I suspected Orion might just suck at expressing himself.

  "… Yes." I said again, feeling surprisingly at ease. I was disturbed by my lack of calibration with my own emotions, and my inability to predict myself accurately. It was a similar sort of mental-discombobulation to getting in my car and finding out that someone had readjusted my chair and mirrors.

  "I-… I am sorry." Orion mumbled as he rubbed his hands together.

  "Just… Tell me wh-aht happened." I instructed.

  "After you unlocked your [Talent], you went limp. Shaking as if you were having a seizure." He began, and I nodded, remembering that part clearly.

  "I then received many alerts from the Path, saying that the [Soul Bond] was being changed, and your [Talent]… was mixing? with it?" He said uncertainly, and I rolled my talon towards him, gesturing for him to continue.

  "It means keep go-hing." I eventually had to explain, the man pausing to stare at my claws instead of doing what they instructed him to do.

  "oh… Well… then I brought you here, and… tried to help the best I could." He finished, the explanation extremely lacklustre. It didn't help that he hadn't been looking at my eyes the entire conversation, instead staring at the empty space a metre above me.

  "Orion, can you… look at me or som-heth-ing while we're talk-hing." I eventually had to ask, the man's eyes locking onto mine with abrupt alacrity.

  "Just go through it one thing at a time, starting from coming back to the village." I prompted him.

  "I was carrying you back, and saw that the villagers were… agitated." Orion restarted his explanation, staring into my eyes without looking away or blinking.

  "Then I set up a bed for you as I waited for… something… anything I could help with." He calmly continued, though I had trouble concentrating on what he was saying. I was beginning to get unnerved by the intensity of his unabating stare.

  "After an hour of waiting, the Path told me something was happening with your mind. That's when you started crying out in pain."

  I had to eventually break eye-contact with him, looking away and hoping that he'd get the hint to do the same.

  "I tried to help out the best I could, by—uhm… doing what I had done in the cave—that helped before."

  I looked back at him after a good ten seconds, plenty of time for him to—and nope… still staring at me.

  "Orion, c-han you… stop being weird for a min-ute and just… keep a normal am-ho-unt of eye-contact. Like look at me for a bit, then look away." I asked with a heavy amount of exasperation. Thankfully Orion jerked his eyes away, finally allowing me to concentrate on the conversation and catch-up on what he'd been saying.

  If I could blush, I probably would've. My memories of that feverish period were hard to recollect, strangely fractured with different feelings and perspectives. But the moment I’d demanded him to continue was firmly lodged in my memories. I doubt I could forget that, or the change that'd occurred from how it felt this time and when I was ambushed by it in the depths of the mountain, anytime soon.

  And it was different this time, and I don't know if it was the evolution, wanting it instead of being forced, or more of my mind getting physically inserted into draconic neurons that had caused it. But I was less coerced into enjoying the feeling, I had the ability to decide, to push it back or invite it in, instead of it being a one-way sensation. Like being tickled, still—mildly—overwhelming and not something completely ignorable, but better than getting dopamine forcibly injected into your cerebellum.

  So, instead of being stuck in a car with the accelerator nailed down, I now had brakes. Shitty, sticky, about-to-fail brakes, but something is better than nothing. Usually.

  I was still unsure if I liked the change. On the one hand, it was an improvement over its previous effect, on the other… I was still very pissed about the change itself. I hated that I was even considering it being 'good', knowing that it would've been ignored by the me from this morning. Because I knew that I would never let anyone close enough to scratch my head—emotionally. Without it being weird or leaving me feeling unnatural.

  "Sorry." Orion eventually said. I was unsure if he was apologising for forgetting how to maintain eye-contact, or for what happened while I was half-conscious.

  "It's fine. I'm bet-ter now, and free from the influ-hence that made me… ask-for-that." I quickly blurted out, eager to move on from it as soon as possible. It was a bit hard to blame him for the scenario, given that my fevered mind had demanded for him to do so.

  I might not be completely free from whatever happened to me, but I now had the self-awareness for self control. But I wasn't going to tell him that I'd lost it for an afternoon.

  ***

  "By the way, do you know what sup-herego is?" I asked, and to my surprise, Orion nodded.

  "It's a psychology term from the early twentieth century, coined by psychologist Sigmund Freud.

  It denotes the idea of internalising cultural rules and outside influences in the formation of your personality. Mainly in regards to your personal pursuit of perfection, ego, and goals. It was also said to be the part of yourself that criticises and prohibits the expressions of fantasies, feelings, and actions, that the superego has been taught to repress." He expertly recited. I spent a few seconds being surprised by Orion's ability to expel such a professional response, then concerned by the implications of his words.

  I had quite literally lost a portion of my ability to control my desires and expressions. I… But then why did I do—y'know what, I would deal with this another time.

  "How do you kn-ow that?"

  "Found a book. Read it because I had nothing else to do." Orion explained, providing the only reasonable explanation I’ve ever heard for reading a textbook.

  "I had to stop halfway through. Talked too much about Sigmund Freud's… ideas about childhood development. The book had a large section on how he theorised sexual desires played a role in a child's development. That all children are born bisexual and gain an attraction to one gender based on whether they have a penis. That children have either a castration complex—for boys—or penis envy—for girls. And that they… sort of lust after the parent of the opposite gender, and get jealous." He finished with a shudder, making me wonder why this man's work was ever taken seriously in the first place. I mean, he was enough of a household name for me to recognise the name, so how'd he get so well-known off… this shit?

  "Why is he so fah-mous?" I idly wondered, feeling vaguely disgusted by the idea of childhood development being based off of the idea of incestual lust for a parent. Was the field of psychology just that piss-poor in the past?

  "I… do not know. The book had a preface mentioning his… issues. He believed that women became unhappily and 'irregular' if they were not able to fulfil their motherly instincts, leading to many childless women in asylums. Or his 'seduction theory', in which he made patients recreate scenes of childhood abuse, then eventually decided that many just had fantasies from infantile… masturbation. Which led to a number of cases of actual childhood abuse being written off as misremembered delusions." Orion continued, becoming uncomfortable enough while explaining it that I could see him physically react with disgust—nor could I blame him.

  How could such ideas be repeated without an ounce of reanalysis? Let alone taken seriously by institutions well into the twenty-first century? Seriously, who reads the words 'infantile masturbation' and thinks the person who wrote them was of sound mind? If someone told me that unironically, I would suggest the police thoroughly investigate their hard drive

  "Let's j-hust go to sleep." I decided, purging the existence of the early psychological field from my memories. While I did still have an idle curiosity about the 'agitation' Orion had mentioned the town experiencing, I was too exhausted to deal now.