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The Butcher in the Fireman’s Helmet

  After delivering the foreign occupier to the regional center, Gennadiy Reshotkin and Ivan Ivanovich Kuvalda immediately went to the chief of police to explain the situation.

  ?"I need to see for myself first," said Lieutenant Colonel Grafinov. At the entrance, he saw the sidecar with the bound Vasyl Butylkin. Approaching the trailer and examining the strange creature, Lieutenant Colonel Grafinov mused thoughtfully: "This is a bio-robot, some kind of cybernetic organism. See, he has buttons on his charred head—perhaps he’s programmable."

  ?"I’ll call Professor Probirkin right away. He’s been drinking at a dacha nearby for a whole month."

  ?Calling the duty officer, he gave the address where Probirkin was "cooling off"—a man who had been kicked out of the university two months prior for stealing alcohol from the preserved laboratory specimens.

  ?"In the meantime, let's move him to our detention cell," the chief commanded. The task force carried Vasyl to the cell. Lieutenant Colonel Grafinov turned to his comrades: "We know that neither bullets, nor grenades, nor our weapons work on alien races. How did you knock him out?"

  ?"I neutralized him with brute force," Reshotkin said.

  A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

  ?"That's good, we already know how to affect them. But I’ve seen in movies that they are afraid of electricity."

  ?He immediately ordered a sergeant to run two wires from an outlet and attach them to Vasyl’s head, giving the command: "As soon as he starts moving—since we don't know his capabilities—plug the wire into the socket immediately."

  ?Half an hour later, Professor Probirkin was brought in, literally supported by his arms. Lieutenant Colonel Grafinov spent a long time patiently trying to explain the essence of the matter to him. The professor asked many clarifying questions and finally concluded: "And haven't I told you repeatedly that we are not alone in the Universe! Just yesterday at nine in the evening, I saw a glowing object over the garden. Do you think they aren't connected?"

  ?Interrupting him, Lieutenant Colonel Grafinov said: "Could you please examine him, Professor?"

  ?"Of course, of course, lead me to him—just give me gloves! Ah, yes, I urgently need 0.5 liters of alcohol for... disinfection purposes!"

  ?There were no specialized gloves in the department, so they issued him traffic police gloves that had been sitting in the warehouse for forty years. Wearing a black technical smock found at the entrance (which turned out to be the cleaning lady's robe) and the white gloves, Professor Probirkin looked more like a butcher. Since no medical mask could be found, they gave him a firefighter’s helmet with a transparent but very cloudy visor. Swaying from side to side and leaning against the walls of the cell, Professor Probirkin made his way toward the body of Vasyl Butylkin.

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