Chapter 8 - Nightmare

  TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE

  ? ? ?

  A rope.

  A kicked-over chair.

  Feet dangling above the floor.

  A lifeless body.

  Two dark silhouettes.

  Poison.

  ★

  "My Lady?"

  I snapped back to the present at the sound of Rana’s voice. I blinked down at the table, only then realizing she had already finished serving my breakfast.

  "Is something weighing on your mind, My Lady?" Rana asked, her voice laced with concern.

  "I had a disturbing dream last night," I muttered, staring at my plate. "It—it felt so real."

  "It was only a nightmare, My Lady. Everything is alright," she assured me.

  But for some reason, I couldn’t feel safe. Something deep inside me was profoundly unsettled. It was a terrifying dream—blurry and fragmented—yet everything about it felt familiar. It had awakened a storm of raw emotion within me: Sadness. Despair. Rage. Regret. Guilt.

  "Rana, you and Nyx can have this. I don't have an appetite," I said listlessly.

  "But My Lady, we couldn't possibly—"

  I stood up and offered her a small, weak smile. "It’s fine, I don't mind. It’s better that you eat it rather than letting it go to waste."

  I made my way back to the bed to lie down. Suddenly, I remembered my conversation with Kaede from the previous night.

  "Rana?" I called out just as she reached the door.

  "Yes, My Lady?"

  "What happened to Mother?" I asked softly.

  I noticed her freeze instantly. Even Nyx, usually a statue, kept her head bowed low.

  "Rana? Nyx?" I pressed.

  Rana closed the door gently. "My Lady, we are not permitted to speak of the late Grand Duchess."

  "Why?"

  "The Grand Duke forbade it, My Lady," she explained, her gaze fixed on the floor.

  I didn’t know why, but a stray tear rolled down my cheek. The sight made Rana panic, and she rushed to my side.

  "M-my Lady..."

  "Please, I just want to know what happened to my mother," I sobbed.

  ‘Wow, I’m surprisingly good at this. Oscar-worthy acting!’

  "The late Grand Duchess ended her own life, My Lady," a cold voice vibrated through the room.

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  Rana and I both turned toward the "human robot" still standing by the door. It was Nyx, her face as expressionless as ever.

  "Nyx!" Rana hissed in a sharp rebuke.

  I froze. I didn't know how to react; I wasn't even sure how I felt. I just stared into space, stunned.

  "You may leave," I said.

  Rana stopped scolding Nyx the moment I spoke. "My Lady..."

  I turned my back to them and closed my eyes. I didn't feel like talking anymore.

  "Leave."

  ? ? ?

  I spent the entire morning staring blankly at the ceiling. I had lost all track of time. I only snapped back to reality when a gentle poke grazed my cheek. Turning my head to the right, I found Estella staring at me intently.

  "What ails you, my dear Cellie?" her voice was tinged with genuine worry.

  "Lady Estella?" I stammered, shocked. She was leaning over me, pouting.

  "I knocked, yet you did not answer, nor did you seem to notice my entrance," she said, sounding a bit hurt.

  "I—I’m sorry," I sat up and looked at her. "Wait, did you just call me Cellie?"

  She smiled. "Indeed. ’Tis a name I reserve solely for moments when we are alone."

  Right. By now, the rest of the nobility already knows about my "amnesia." I wonder which gossip-monger leaked that.

  "Oh... then what should I call you?" I asked.

  She reclined back on the bed. "You call me by my middle name—Amora."

  I nodded. "So, what are you doing here?"

  Her gaze softened. "Your servant sent me a letter. She informed me that you have been somewhat melancholy of late."

  I managed a small smile. Rana really does love me.

  "Are you unwell, Cellie?"

  "Ah," I lay back down beside her, tracing the patterns on the ceiling with my eyes. "I’m just tired."

  She sighed empathetically. "You have been quite occupied since your return from the North. You must be exhausted."

  "Yeah." I couldn't tell her what was actually bothering me. It wouldn't make sense anyway—it was just a dream.

  Suddenly, she rolled over and stood up. Man, this girl is restless.

  "Guess what?" she exclaimed, her voice sparkling with delight.

  "What is it?"

  Her grin widened. "Father has granted me permission to visit Crezen! Oh, I am positively elated!"

  I subtly pressed a hand to my forehead. Her jumping around was making me dizzy. "Why do you want to visit Crezen so badly?"

  She pouted. "I long to partake in their festival. I have often petitioned Father to allow me to attend as our family’s representative, yet my requests were always denied. Now that I have made my debut in society, he has finally given his approval!"

  I nodded and gave her a smile. "That’s good for you, then."

  "Mhmm! I am overjoyed." She pouted again. "I was so envious last summer because you got to go there, even though it wasn't even the month of Thawrise yet."

  I just chuckled. What else could I say? It wasn't me who went to Crezen—it was the original Celeste.

  "When shall we shop for festival clothes?" she asked eagerly.

  My smile faltered. Her excitement dimmed instantly. "You are... not coming with me?"

  "I don't know if Father will allow it," I said, scratching the back of my neck.

  "But it is the Thawfire Festival!"

  "I think Father—or my brother—will represent the Vespera Grand Duchy instead," I replied, forcing a smile.

  The truth was, I had no reason to go to Crezen. I’d rather stay here and investigate. Amora’s shoulders slumped.

  "I thought I would finally get to visit another empire... with my best friend."

  I was about to laugh, thinking she was teasing, until I saw her wipe her eyes. Wait, is she actually crying? Is this a guilt trip?

  "H-hey? Are you crying?"

  "I really don't know if Father will grant me permission. He’s been extra strict with my schedule lately..."

  She suddenly lifted her head, her cheeks wet with tears but a smile on her face. She really was crying.

  "Ah! I will just ask my father to talk to Grand Duke Vespera!"

  I gave her a strained smile. If I rejected her again, she’d probably flood the room with tears. We talked until dusk, and finally, it was time for Amora to head home. I only managed to eat dinner because Rana threatened that she’d be executed if I didn't. Soon after, exhaustion claimed me, even though I hadn't done a single productive thing all day.

  ★

  I JOLTED AWAKE, drenched in sweat as if I had just run a marathon.

  My hands wouldn't stop trembling. The image of a woman hanging from the ceiling was burned into my mind. It felt so familiar. Two silhouettes staring down at me while I broke down in front of the lifeless body... and the poison. The tiny vial I held in my hands.

  It felt like a memory. Like Celeste had already lived through it.

  That woman... was she Celeste’s mother?

  I have a strong feeling she was. Kaede said Celeste’s past actions were the reason their mother died. And Nyx said she committed suicide.

  ‘What did you do, Celeste?’

  How terrible must things have been for a mother to take her own life? And the poison? Oh my god... don't tell me...

  Did Celeste poison herself out of guilt after her mother died? Is that why my soul was able to enter this body? Because the real Celeste is already dead?

  ‘Celeste, were you actually a villain?’

  No. I can’t jump to conclusions. I can’t judge her yet. I need the truth. I need to investigate.

  ★

  I didn't leave my room all day. I couldn't shake the nightmare. Now that night had fallen again, I couldn't sleep. Something was urging me—forcing me—to find answers.

  My breathing was uneven as I forced myself out of bed. Aside from the Grand Duke, there was only one person in this mansion who knew Celeste’s past well enough to confirm anything.

  Kaede.

  I threw on my robe and stormed out of the room before I could lose my nerve. The hallway was cold—annoyingly so—and with every step, the dream replayed: the rope, the shadows, the vial.

  Dammit, why am I so nervous?

  When I reached Kaede’s study, the door was already ajar. Typical. He never seemed to close it, as if he were always alert, always expecting trouble, and always pretending he wasn't.

  He didn't look up when I entered.

  "Celeste," he said flatly, his pen scratching against a document. "It is late. Planning another scheme?"

  Normally, I’d snap back with something petty. But not tonight.

  "I need to ask you something," I said, my voice tighter than I intended.

  He didn't respond, looking as annoyed and uninterested as ever.

  "I had a dream," I started. "About a woman... hanging from the ceiling."

  His expression didn’t change, but something flickered in his eyes.

  I continued, "Two people were in the room. Watching me. And I was holding a vial of poison."

  That stopped him.

  His pen halted mid-stroke. He slowly lifted his gaze to mine—his eyes were sharp, analyzing me like I was a threat.

  "A vial of poison?"

  "Y-yes." I felt a sudden chill under his stare.

  Judging by his reaction, he wasn't aware of the poison. Kaede closed the folder in front of him very gently, as if it might shatter. He leaned back in his chair.

  "And why," he said calmly, "are you telling me this?"

  "Because..." I swallowed hard. "It felt real. I want to know if... if that woman was our mother."

  Silence. He just stared at me.

  Then I noticed it—the tension in his jaw, the way his fingers curled against the desk, and the slight, almost invisible tremble he was trying to hide.

  "Kaede," I whispered, "tell me the truth."

  His voice was low and dangerous. "Where exactly did you see this? In a dream... or a memory?"

  My stomach dropped. "A dream," I said. "I think. I... I don’t know."

  Kaede stood up slowly, walked to the door, and closed it firmly. He turned to me with an expression I had never seen on him before.

  "Celeste," he said, "listen carefully. There are things about Mother’s death you were never supposed to remember."

  ? ? ?

  ? TEVIAN CODEX ?

  (Crezen Imperia)

  ? THE THAWFIRE FESTIVAL

  Thawrise (March)

  (Cindy's notes: Goddess Iris actually felt pity for them and gave them one month of summer.)

  ◇ Teves Calendar ◇

  Frosttide (January): Deep winter; frozen landscapes.

  Snowveil (February): Lingering cold; quiet reflection.

  Thawrise (March): The melt; rivers flow; renewal.

  Bloomriseq (April): Flora flourishes; spring awakening.

  Solarae (May): Warmth settles; outdoor markets.

  Luminara (June): Peak summer; radiant days.

  Solvayne (July): Intense heat; summer travel.

  Sunwane (August): Heat fades; harvest begins.

  Aurelin (September): Crisp autumn; glowing forests.

  Moonshade (October): Folklore and storytelling.

  Darkfrost (November): First major frost; winter approaches.

  Nightveil (December): Year-end fireside gatherings.

  (Celeste's note: I had to memorize this too? Why do they need a different calendar?!)