I don’t remember much from when I was a child.

  That’s not entirely true, though. It would be more accurate to say that my memories don’t make any sense to me. I do not understand if they’re more than what feels like a fever dream. Foggy. It’s kind of unclear but it might just be the kind of place I was born into. Something I didn’t understand and didn’t have the time to. Everything is unclear as to how I woke up one day in an alley close to the where the merchants sell their good in the capital. Granny Maine, the woman who raised me, found me laying barefoot, wearing some ragged clothing, and eating from the trash that all the merchants had left in the back alley.

  It was around 6:00 p.m. when I woke up I think, and for some reason I was incredibly hungry. I didn’t understand what they were saying. I didn’t understand the language at all, and all the people around avoided me because of it. Granny was one of the merchants that noticed me and was on her way home, gave me some fruit after she saw the trash in my hands, and asked me some questions that I didn’t understand of course. She eventually left me some more fruits that apparently couldn’t be sold that day and took off.

  The next day, after sleeping under that cold and unfair weather for someone that couldn’t even cover themselves up to fight against it, the sound of the merchants’ carts woke me up. I saw a man and a small crowd behind him get closer and closer to where I was sleeping. They seemed disgusted and angry for some reason I didn’t understand back then. They started directing and shooting their words and gazes to me, they had frowns on their faces and spat as they talked, not that I understood any of what they were saying anyway, but they seemed to be directing their hate at me. I still don’t fully understand why it’s easier to hate on somebody just because it makes them feel insecure about something.

  Soon, but not soon enough, a Coactus warrior approached me and took me by my arm, taking me away from that unpleasant situation. It was then when granny came and grabbed me by the other arm, and talked to both the warrior and the crowd. The crowd all seemed displeased and reluctant, but thanks to the fact that the warrior was a general, he had the authority to decide on this matter and disperse the crowd if he wanted to. And so he did for some reason. I guess my granny managed to convinced him, and they had no power over him. He let me and granny go after a few exchanges of words, and that same day after a few hours standing next to her eating some fruit from her food cart, she took me home and gave me a place to live, allowing me to live a life that would last more than 2 days.

  Years later I learned I was to be taken into Coactus training, and should I had failed I would have been put down or die trying to become a warrior either way. That was their ways, it still is. They’re brutal.

  Although, I still try to make sense of what came before, but it’s in pieces, small pieces in a big board that I can’t even see. All that makes sense, is that I was part of a sort of family that I guess abandoned me in that alley. A family that talked to me but not in a loving manner like my granny, but as if demanding something from me, with great expectation, with great concern, with great purpose that I guess was said in a different language I no longer remember. And the place where we lived… That place, an always dark place, with only the light from lightbulbs and such. No sunlight was ever to be seen around, only dark, and foggy places. Yes, foggy.

  I suppose I could always go back to the hospital in the capital, to have them check me up one more time. It doesn’t seem any more likely though. Three tests were more than enough for them to state that I simply was having some trouble remembering some disturbing memories.

  And either way, going back there is not an option. We promised to each other we would remain as far from the capital for as long as we could. It’s not the type of life we want for the girls and for ourselves. Betraying our teachers’ expectations and deciding not to work for the Empire most definitely put a target on our backs. They’ll be wary of us until our last days, and the day the Empire reaches these small towns in-between the mountains…we have known that all along… but it’s still better than the ways of life they are imposing on everyone, every city and every single village. Yes, that’s what I believe, and so does Lola.

  You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.

  There shouldn’t be anything more to worry about. When the day comes, we’ll start working for them again, and when the day comes, our girls will take the aptitude tests, which they will pass due to the education we’ve been giving them right now. They’ll be safe from slaving to the Empire in much more dangerous, degrading, and ghastly ways. They’ll still slave away, like us, like all of us… but they will be educated and become valuable to the "Magnus Opus" themselves. They will have all the knowledge and skills to be of use, and maybe, just maybe, they will be able to make a change in the laws. Those degrading and unfair laws...

  Lola and I will most likely have to pay for turning our backs to the Empire, and it cannot be helped, it cannot be avoided, but it cannot be an outlaw procedure either. We are after all, valuable and potential assets to the Empire. And the people have their eyes on them. They need us to exploit us, to suck up all the value we have to offer.

  I just hope the punishment isn’t as severe as making an example out of us in front of our girls. The Coactus are merciless... even behind those beautiful shining armors, and fine-looking playstyle, their actions are still bloodstained. A soldier that will stop at nothing except on order of its superior, is something truly terrifying. A truly well-trained pack of dogs. There is no arguing with them. They will kill on command. They will set waste on towns on command.

  There is no going back once you become a Coactus. Your only purpose afterwards is set in stone, and it is to carry the will of your Emperor, no matter what, no matter the cost. Admirably so.

  “…lets go back home Cassius, it’s already past 11. You’ve got work tomorrow, and the girls are worried at how you’ve been acting these past few days. I’ve also noticed how you’ve been walking around the house late at night this past week…what’s the matter? what’s keeping you up?” asked me Lola almost out of nowhere. I didn't realize she had noted my uneasiness. I had seen her put the girls to bed and then come out the door a few minutes ago.

  “…nothing really, it’s just that…lately something’s been bugging me, in the back of my mind about this whole thing…” I answered.

  “you mean…the capital, and the deal we made with Alexis?” said Lola.

  “…yes. We were backed into a corner, forced to make a decision that could very well be our own demise, should that man betray our confidence. If not, truth will reach him one day anyway, which will make him complicit of our actions, and flagged as a traitor as well.”

  “Yes. We made a deal with a man of whom we know so little about and will most likely be killed on behalf of our ‘most righteous Magnus Opus’. He will be rid of, without us having to taint our hands any further.” Said Lola, the last part in a loving manner. Somehow reassuring me of the burden that she helps me carry every day.

  I looked at her perfectly and vividly knowing of which burden she was talking about.

  “The burdens I made us carry by leaving. The burdens I contracted the few days prior to our escape. They still hunt me. Makes me worry for the day they arrive at our door, kicking it down-”

  “-and I share those worries with you. But it’s not only about that, it’s a matter of being here in the present, right now. Because we know no matter what, it’ll dawn on us before we even know it, and everything will change. If we make good memories here, they might just last us until the very end.”

  I looked at her one more time, reflecting on what she was saying.

  “I know we made promises, and we swore on the truth behind the reasoning of our decisions. And I'm sorry for panicking you even more. I’ll stick to those, so as to not worry you or our children anymore.” I put the Naca stick out (cigarette) directed a smile at her, and put my hand next to her, softly grabbing her arm.

  Afterwards we returned, I made sure to say goodnight through my girls’ doors- ‘cause I knew they were still awake, I had seen the faint shadowed movement through the cracks in the door while walking toward the main room.

  "Good night girls", I said outloud.

  I heard a gasp afterwards, felt a weak and brittle smile around my face, and headed to bed.

  I laid on bed while thinking about the future, but how to place my hopes in the present. I had been thinking about something of this sort the past few months. I thought it was questionable, but conceivable. It might just work, but more importantly, it would bring me peace, and assurance of the potential my girls could achieve.

  They were not meant to die like animals. My girls were not meant to die like that.