The assassins were closing in fast. Three of them, approaching in a triangle formation, with me at the center. I scanned through my playbook and found a good option.

  Running: Silent But Deadly Cloaking Play.

  Invisible to Enemy Radar For 10 minutes.

  Armor Spines Deliver Fast-Acting Neurotoxin.

  A countdown timer for 10 minutes appeared in the top of my HUD. Suddenly, the three yellow dots paused their approach, the triangle no longer closing in on me like a net. It was clear that there was confusion among the assassins, as I must have suddenly disappeared from their radar. I had to move fast and quietly—a challenge in shin-high water.

  As I circled around the first of the yellow dots, I was reminded of those nature documentaries where the prey suddenly became the predator. I never really fully appreciated insect defense mechanisms until now.

  Thanks, bugs. I owe you one.

  The yellow dots were on the move again, this time in a less coordinated fashion. Their visibility was just as compromised as mine, and without me as a blip on their map, they were fumbling around in the dark. I came up behind the first warrior, still draped in stealth camo. His body shimmered; the dead giveaway was the mist diverting around his form and the two hollow leg holes in the water leading down to his feet.

  I crept up behind him, intending to put him into a rear naked chokehold. That didn’t work out so well. As soon as I reached around his neck, he grabbed my arm and flipped me over his shoulder. I landed with a hard splash in the water. I scrambled back up, and we were wrestling. He shouted to the others in an alien tongue. I heard splashes approaching from the distance as his partners raced to his rescue.

  I freed my right arm and managed to land a karate chop against his neck. The rigid spines on my armor scraped his flesh. He immediately clutched the wound and stumbled backwards, falling into the water as the toxin deployed. I fully expected a yellow flag to fly in and a refbot to stop the action, but that didn’t happen. Whether they didn’t see it or sense it through the fog, or perhaps because I didn’t use an actual weapon, the refbot didn’t appear.

  But what did appear were several red dots, one of them indicating a giant alien alligator-looking thing. It reared its head from the water and chomped down on the warrior right at my feet. His scream was immediately swallowed up as the alligator chomped directly over his head and halfway down his torso. It dragged the wriggling warrior away and proceeded to spiral into a death roll. I stumbled away as several other gator-like creatures popped out of the water, looking for their taste.

  I heard splashes coming up directly behind me and saw the shadow of the second assassin’s digital camouflage approaching. I sidestepped and threw out an arm, clotheslining him. He landed straight on his back in the water. It didn’t take the other two gators long to stop tearing apart the first warrior and move on to this one. He barely had a chance to scream at all.

  I moved as quickly as my armored legs would let me, barely escaping the snatching jaws of the third monster. I was so focused on fleeing, I didn’t pay attention and ran right into the third assassin. I bounced off his chest, landing on my butt. He de-cloaked, aiming a gun at my drenched, camouflage form. He said something in his alien tongue, and I braced for the shot. Before he could pull the trigger, he clutched his chest. There were several small puncture wounds through his armor. I looked down at the blood dripping off the spines on my armor. He collapsed in the water and was quickly snatched away by one of the bog gators.

  I climbed a creeper vine and perched on a thick branch as the thrashing continued in the water below. Soon enough, the waters were still again. The red dots moved on, and the yellow dots were no more.

  ME: That was a little too close.

  ERNI: I must say… I wasn’t fully convinced of your Ghost Detector prompt, but it appears to have been a wise move in retrospect.

  ME: Thanks.

  I stayed up in the tree for a bit, catching my breath. After a little investigation, I realized that I could navigate through the marshlands through a series of interconnected vines and branches above. I was moving fast through the upper canopy, leaping from tree to tree, no longer at risk of the creatures in the murky waters below.

  ERNI: It appears your orbdown and boss fight is trending on The Wormhole.

  ME: The what?

  ERNI: The Wormhole. The multiverse’s inter-dimensional cosmic networking platform.

  ME: Cosmic networking? You mean like Flitter and Postagram?

  ERNI: Yes, like those. However, the Wormhole has more substantial capabilities, including 3D holographic broadcasts and sensory experiential replays for those who have the proper haptic gear.

  ME: You’re telling me viewers actually want to feel the pain and the trauma that we’re feeling?

  This narrative has been purloined without the author's approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.

  ERNI: Not to the extent of paralysis or death. But, pain, in proper doses, is considered a savory, psychoactive compound in the multiverse.”

  ME: Pain is like a drug to them?

  ERNI: In some circles, yes. And, in such instances, morbid curiosity and addictive tendencies often override logic directives.

  ME: So I’m becoming a cosmic media star, huh?

  ERNI: The star-tag, ? PizzaGuyWon’tDie, has been trending ever since your showdown with the Pukeodactyl. The clip of you slicing it in half has already been replayed millions of times.

  ME: Star-tags? I guess they don’t have hashes on their keyboards.

  ERNI: If you are referring to physical input devices, I’m afraid those haven’t been used in the multiverse for several millennia.

  ME: Right. Okay, so with all of this media heat, when are these sponsorship offers going to start rolling in?

  ERNI: It typically takes more than one flashy kill for that to happen.

  Mission: Kill Monster Mob.

  Bog Bats. Level 2.

  I paused our conversation to slash at a cloud of goopy, orange bat-looking things. They were a real pain in the ass because their flight was quick and jerky, without any sort of pattern. I finally knocked the last one down, and several notifications appeared.

  Bog Bats Defeated!

  Mission Complete: Kill Monster Mob.

  Reward: +60,000 Points!

  Auto-Looted Bog Bats.

  Item Acquired:

  Echo Pulse.

  Reveals Surroundings Using Echolocation.

  ME: Sweet.

  It made total sense for the bats here to have that ability. You couldn’t see crap around here.

  Echo Pulse Activated.

  Every 60 seconds, my vision drastically improved, as if the fog didn’t exist. But, it was short-lived. The effect only lasted for about 10 seconds until the next cycle repeated itself. Still, it allowed me to make quicker work of moving deeper into the heart of the marsh, following the map towards the orb’s location.

  ME: Have all the Slayer Bowl viewers seen these attempts on my life?

  ERNI: No. The broadcast feed appears to have been scrambled during those moments.

  ME: How convenient.

  It made total sense. If Krivlax was sending goons to kill me—which was a direct violation of the rules—he wouldn’t allow it to be broadcast across his networks. I had to find a way to get evidence out there and show what was really going on.

  The 10-minute countdown on the Silent but Deadly Cloaking expired, and a notification flashed.

  Silent But Deadly Cloaking Depleted.

  Well, it was nice while it lasted. It certainly got me out of that jam. But what was I going to do the next time assassins came along?

  As I continued to leap through the treetops, I paused as a holographic icon appeared through the fog. It looked like a sports bottle. I descended the nearest tree trunk, slow and cautious, as I worked my way towards the marsh floor. I saw a humanoid alien creature in an ISL sports jumpsuit. He was standing next to what looked like a huge cooler. I stared at the info box above him.

  ISL Hydration Agent. Level 13.

  ME: ERNI, can I trust what I’m seeing? Is that like a water boy?

  ERNI: Yes. ISL Hydration Agents are officially sanctioned. However, a word of caution: some of them choose to sell items that are not on the approved ISL vending list.

  ME: What kind of items?

  ERNI: See for yourself.

  I dropped from the tree trunk and landed with a splash. The Hydration Agent looked at me with all four of his eyes. He spoke in an alien dialect at first, then quickly switched to English once he determined I was unable to understand what he was saying.

  “Thirsty?” he asked.

  “Hell yeah, I am.”

  “I’ve got the finest sports drinks in the galaxy. Pick your poison.”

  He opened the cooler and revealed a sparkling spread full of cold beverages in an array of colorful bottles. I had never seen or heard of any of them. This wasn’t your garden variety of supermarket sports drinks. These were names like Star Spritz, Plasma Quench, and Nebula Fuel, which, according to the label, was perfect for an out-of-this-world performance boost.

  I wasn’t picky and grabbed the Nebula Fuel. I uncapped the top and was about to drink when the alien stopped me.

  “Whoa, whoa, whoa there, buddy. That’ll be 50 credits.”

  “What?”

  “That’s right… you’re human. You gotta cough up some money. Currency.”

  “I know what the hell you’re saying. I just don’t have any. Shouldn’t this be free for contestants?”

  He laugh-snorted.

  “That’s funny. Ain’t nothin’ free.” He grabbed the bottle from my hand. “But, I’m sure you’ve got something to barter with.”

  “What are you looking for?” I asked.

  “Show me your playbook. I’m always open-minded to upgrades.”

  I did not want to show this thing my playbook. I knew better than that.

  “Tell you what. How about a ‘Boss Beater’ hoodie?”

  “Not really my cup of tea, you know what I’m saying? I like something with a little more bite.”

  I didn’t want to give him one of my weapons, but I was in desperate need of hydration.

  “Look, I can give you a toxic fart grenade, but I’m going to want more than this bottle.”

  “Well, if you really want to stay hydrated, I can give you an armor hydro-conversion pack. It enables you to take any liquid and make it drinkable. Though, that doesn’t mean the taste is going to be any good.”

  “Yeah, that sounds fair. Let’s do it.”

  “Well, yeah, one toxic fart grenade ain’t gonna get it done. But two of them, and now you’re talking.”

  I checked my playbook. I only had two toxic fart grenades left. In any other circumstance, I wouldn’t have made the deal, but I was desperate.

  “Fine.”

  I summoned them from my inventory and handed them over. He gave me the bottle of Nebula Fuel and the armor hydro-conversion pack. I guzzled the whole bottle while he demonstrated how to use the device.

  “Here you go,” he said. “You just slap it right here.”

  He pressed it onto my left chest plate. “When you’re ready to drink, just press this button and sip from the extendable straw. Draws the liquid straight up from your boots.”

  “That sounds absolutely disgusting.”

  “Oh, it is. But it’ll keep you alive.”

  “Thanks,” I said, starting to move on.

  “Hey, before you go.”

  He unzipped his sports top and opened the flap of his jacket. Several gleaming syringes hung from the inside, each containing glowing, multicolored liquids. “Any chance I can interest you in some Aste-Roids?”

  Aste-Roids…? Funny. Space steroids.

  I can honestly say that, normally, I would never consider buying drugs from an alien in a swamp. But in this game, you didn’t know what you would need and when.

  I made a deal and traded him my old rustic armor for one syringe and a few more bottles of Nebula Fuel. I added them to my inventory and waded further into the fog.