Nie Ruyi
“Do you seek death?” Lao Xiaojun demanded, and Nie Ruyi felt almost instantly defensive. First she had to deal with that little brat faking an apology and now she had to deal with this big brat throwing a fit? What was with people today!
“No, but if it comes out to meet me, I’m not going to stay silent about it.” Nie Ruyi snapped right back. She huffed, picking up a tea cake Sun Xirong had sat out and snapped it up in two bites. She was starving after her exercise that morning, and everything was aching. “I will not be silent just so that someone can keep face.”
“If she complains to her sect leader, it will ruin what little tenuous peace Sect Leader Lao has managed to negotiate for us.” Lao Xiaojun said, still standing like an awkward jackal ready to pounce at the first sign of a twitch. Nie Ruyi didn’t like being loomed over on the best of days, and this certainly isn’t one of them.
“If that’s all it takes to ruin it, then it wasn’t solid in the first place.” Nie Ruyi argued, raising an eyebrow about it. “You don’t seem to understand that that woman did not intend to apologize to me or mend her behavior. She’s proven untrustworthy and worse. We should expect the same of her entire sect, honestly, if that was the mood with which her brother allowed her to speak and her sect-leader sent her here without any proper oversight.”
“No one would expect a mortal NOT to accept an apology.” Lao Xiaojun growled, running a hand over his face as if she were the exhausting one here.
“Maybe they should!” Nie Ruyi sat up, her ire really up now, “Why do cultivators get to treat mortals like shit! Everything we eat, everything we wear, everything that exists is because some mortal thought they might need it and then made it and then sold the extra they don’t need! If you all hate mortals so much why don’t you just end them all, hm?!”
She realized, as Lao Xiaojun flinched back, that she was perhaps going too far, like bringing up Hitler in an online argument… But she didn’t believe she was in the wrong here!
“Just… Let’s put this aside.” She muttered, picking up her teacup. She sipped at the lukewarm drink and sighed. “Do you still need something, or are you just here to make sure I behaved?”
Lao Xiaojun’s expression suffered even more, and he settled one of his fists behind his back. She recognised it as the cultivator equivalent of a guy collecting himself. She watched as he turned his head to the door and said, “No. I’ll take my leave now.”
She made an accepting noise, and he did so, striding out the door. She felt something tacky and prickly settle in her chest, the way it did when she argued with her father and then had to leave for the night to go back to her own apartment. Guilt, perhaps? For being angry with him?
She sighed, setting down the teacup. A small presence made itself known as thick leafy tendrils wrapped around her ankle, and began to climb up her body. “Is my Missy worried about me?” She murmured, encouraging the Ochre Misery Fern to climb higher and onto her lap. It settled in, the cool and nebulously heavy core of it firm on her legs. She sighed, and gently set about cleaning dust off of the soft leaves using the ridiculously long and luxurious sleeves of her hanfu.
Another sigh escaped her, as Sun Xirong entered the room, refreshing her mistress’ tea, and then settling into the chair across her, having been told by Nie Ruyi that she hated hovering. She seemed to be debating, her lips twisting up this way and that. Nie Ruyi put her out of her misery.
“Well, you have something to say. Just spit it out.”
“...that could have gone better, Nie-Xiaojie.”
Nie Ruyi groaned, and covered her eyes. “Not you too!”
“I only worry, Mistress. If Nie-Xiaojie makes enemies, she may get hurt.” The young girl’s voice was absolutely full of upset. It was clear to the walls even that she truly did care.
“A’Rong, if I were to let this world change me too much… what even would I be?” Nie Ruyi asked, glaring at the table as salt prickled the edge of her eyes. She took a deep breath through her nose to hold the tears at bay. “I am not some lady who was raised in this world, who lets others face determine her actions. I am not going to let some brat intimidate me just because her daddy has money or power. I cannot….”
This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.
She closed her eyes and grit her teeth, her fingers tightening in the waxy leaves of her pet. Missy made a rustling sound that could possibly be a rebuke or sympathy. As if sensing that their mistress was upset, the two hideous hounds trotted their way from her bedroom where they had taken up residence, and sequestered themselves on either side of her as if begging for pets.
Taking a moment to run her fingers through their sludge, and marvelling when her fingers came back completely dry, she thought her way through it. Sun Xirong stared at her, pity on her soft cheeks. “I only mean that… Well, that perhaps caution should be taken. If Mistress is so scared of this world changing her… then perhaps she should hide the parts of her that she does not wish changed, and only let those who are precious to her see them.”
Nie Ruyi snorted, knowing this to be just the same as letting the world change her. But she waved away the conversation. “That’s enough, A’Rong. Thank you for your advice. Can you bring me the books from my bedside table?”
She wasn’t going to be able to move for a while anyway, so she might as well get some studying done. Once the maid had delivered the books into her hands, she set down two on the table, opening the one labelled, Basic Physical Comprehension for Beginning Cultivators. She pulled it open to the page she’d been on, continuing where she’d left off, the diagrams of physical movements distracting her eye for a few moments.
From what she’d been able to gather from this particular volume so far, a lot of cultivation was just that, cultivating a better body and mind. The volume encouraged daily movement in the form of training, as well as daily meditation. It made certain to describe specific bodily movements to be done during the training, how one should hold their fist when thrusting it out, where one’s feet should stand.
It also described exactly how one should focus when meditating. The volume said that one should clear one’s mind of all thought, instead focusing on the in and out of breath. Frustratingly, it didn’t mention what to do when one couldn’t clear one’s mind entirely. It only said to continue to clear one’s mind, as if that was something simple. Her mind filled with worries every few seconds, along with thoughts of what it was she was supposed to do, what she needed to research, how she needed to make her life here work.
Sometimes, when she was practicing, a sharp feeling of dread and despair rose up in her that made her want to burst into tears. It felt like drowning, everything curling up and over her head until she was choking with it. She refocused on the book, reading the next sentences as they tried to explain that one must imagine the breath rising in through their nose and out through their mouth, as it circulates throughout their body.
She wrenched the thinly-bound book closed, feeling a familiar hatred rising up in her chest, as she tossed the book back onto the table. Picking up another, she opened it, folding the pages she’d completed around the spine. This one, The Women’s Analects, was famous in her own world, although here they weren’t written by Song Ruozhao, but by some other woman, and Nie Ruyi would never know if they were the same books or different. She bit her lip against that bit of sorrow and focused instead.
To be a woman, you must first learn?how to establish?yourself as a person. The way to do this is simply by working hard to establish?one’s purity and chastity. By purity, one keeps one’s self undefiled; by chastity, one preserves one’s honor.
When?walking, don’t turn?your head; when?talking, don’t open?your mouth?wide; when?sitting, don’t move your knees; when?standing, don’t rustle your skirts; when?happy, don’t exult with? loud laughter; when? angry, don’t raise your voice. The inner and outer quarters are each distinct; the sexes should be segregated. Don’t peer over the outer wall?or go beyond the outer courtyard. If you have to go outside, cover your face; if you peep outside, conceal?yourself as much?as possible. Do not be on?familiar terms with men?outside the family; have nothing to do with?women?of bad character. Establish?your proper self so as to become a human?being.
The more she read, the more her heart felt like it was being crushed in the jaws of a crocodile. A part of her had hoped that perhaps it would excite her, to learn the sorts of things her favorite harem-drama novel heroines had learned. But… in reality, it felt almost like she was being told that everything in her didn’t belong here.
The husband is to be firm, the wife soft; conjugal? affections follow from this. While at home, the two of you should treat each?other with?the formality and reserve of a guest. Listen? carefully to and obey whatever your husband tells you. If he does something wrong, gently correct him. Don’t be like those women?who not only do not correct their husbands but actually lead them into indecent ways. … Don’t imitate those shrewish?wives who love to clash? head on?with?their husbands all?the time.
She clicked her tongue, sniffing away the sting of more tears. She turned the page, trying not to think too hard about those words as A’Rong bustled around the rooms, cleaning up after the guests. The words reminded her of her mother, who never raised a voice to her father, but somehow managed to redirect him whenever his anger rose to the surface. She thought to herself about how any relationship she’d had had always ended with a lack of communication.
How could she find a future here, in this world, where men were expecting women like this? Women who could not even go outside. Sure, she knew cultivators were different, as the women often went around as they wanted, but still. Anxiety rose up and she forced herself to put that book down too, before she drove herself insane.
She picked up the third book.
Mini Character List -
Nie Ruyi - Our protagonist. 34 year old american woman - How is a Modern Girl supposed to survive in this... weird mix of Contemperary and Liberal world. If I'm not supposed to stand up for myself, does that mean I'm going to be unsafe everywhere?
Lao Xiaojun - Lao Minghui's little brother and Sect Heir. Why does he feel like he's fucked up?
Cai Bingtian - Disciple of Severing Firefly Sect. Still Mr. Does-Not-Appear-In-This-Chapter
Missy - Missy's Ruyi is upset. This must be rectified by sitting on her.
The Green Egg - Not forgotten. Currently lives wrapped in blankets on Nie Ruyi's bedside table.
Goober & Izzy - Mama's upset. Time to squish her between us until she giggles.
Sun Xirong - Nie Ruyi's maid, a fifteen year old mortal girl. Poor Nie-Xiaojie... Xirong's mistress is clearly very out of her depth here.