Chapter 2: VilgeI’m hit with the unpleasant sensation of having blood and sweat drip down my face.

  “I need to clean up.”

  “Ah yes, of course. Right this way, Sir.”

  I was led to a small room inside one of the biggest of the small houses. I just need a moment to rex and finish catching my breath after my first fight to the death. That battle was brief but intense — not that I have anything real to compare it against. Can’t really compin since it was even worse for the dead guys. Damn, I’m still a bit revved up. After a few minutes, the chief and some old dy brought a bucket of hot water, a rag, and a set of peasant clothes.

  “Sorry but this is all we have avaible.”

  Well, an ice bath would be nice but hot water will do. I thanked them and accepted the offer to take care of my bloody clothes — don’t want to walk around looking like a horror-movie extra.

  Now that I’m alone, it’s time to check my status. I still have the starting Vilger job, of course, but now I also have the special Hero job. See, I really am a hero because I really did save your butts. (Sure hope I haven’t been saying crap like this out loud.) Well, I guess my attitude is to be expected of a (fake) nobleman.

  Pretty sure I’m supposed to have the Thief job as well. I guess that means that the sword and ring really are mine and stealing the grungy sandals was the trap to begin a life of crime. Maybe I’ll miss some quests, but seems like I could just swipe a pack of gum (so to speak) ter if need be. Heck, the sandals may remain here untouched, just waiting for me.

  I also have a bunch of bonus spells and skills. My ability to hold multiple jobs is great, but being able to reconfigure everything is fantastic, especially while I only have a limited number of bonus points to work with. Currently, I have warp (like fast-travel in a game), appraisal (ID people, monsters and gear), trade discount (auto-haggle), experience boost, and too many others to bother with right now. Some of these have levels with increasing point costs. Even my OP sword, Durandal, comes from bonus points as a max-level weapon. Overall, it’s not quite the god-like cheats some protags get, but at least I have something like a Premium Starter Kit.

  The peasant clothes are thankfully blood-free but really small. Ah, this is probably what the chief’s apology was about. The pants are ridiculously short. This coarse cloth might be linen or even hemp. At least it feels sturdy.

  After a while, I hear the expected knock. Good, it’s time to split the loot.

  “Yes, please lead the way.”

  A bunch of swords and other items were spread out. “Over here are the swords from the brigands we managed to sy.”

  The word ‘brigand’ sounds so formal, but maybe it’s for my sake.

  “Yes, good. We should each take from who we killed. So, the rest are for me, right?”

  “Yes, yes, exactly. Thank you.”

  The next bit I remember directly from the story. I’m supposed to notice that something’s been swapped. Um, yep, they seem to be following the script perfectly.

  While pretending to inspect the items carefully, I remark, “Oh, that’s strange.”

  “What is, Sir David?”

  Holding up a worthless bandana, “Well, this is just a pin bandana and I can’t seem to locate the real one.”

  “What? Are you certain?”

  “Yes, the leader had special equipment.”

  “Oh?”

  “It’s OK. I’m sure it’ll turn up somewhere.”

  “Please excuse me, Sir David. I’ll look into this,” the chief spoke to his subordinates in hushed tones and sent them away.

  “Meanwhile, please join me for breakfast.”

  On the way, he handed over a stack of glowing cards. “Status cards? Good, thanks.” Right, these must be from the Bandits.

  A rustic bowl of warm porridge and a wooden spoon. Simple but really good. Hadn’t realized how hungry I was. The chief started telling me something about crop yields, but he soon took off to do his chief-stuff, I guess. The old dy, probably his wife, smiled and tried to shove more food on me.

  I went back to the loot and got some twine to tie the swords together. Soon, the chief returned with a couple vilgers unceremoniously dragging an unhappy guy in shackles. Somewhat proudly, the chief announced, “This is the man who tried to steal your property.”

  “Ah, you found it. Yes, this is the right one. I recognize it from when I, well, relieved the owner of his head.”

  “I can’t believe that one of my people would do this.”

  “Well, I guess something this valuable was just too tempting… but, um, how did he know what this was?”

  The chief winced at this rather obvious question. After a bit of transtion, the prisoner’s attitude went from being accused of stealing a cookie to kidnapping the baker.

  In a friendlier tone, I continued, “Sorry for asking such a silly question. This man couldn’t possibly have known what this was without an appraisal skill, right? Otherwise, he’d have to… no, never mind. He simply couldn’t have known, simple as that.”

  The chief seemed to rex a bit after being given a way out, but then I channeled my best Columbo imitation to ask, “But, then again… why risk getting caught taking something so apparently worthless as a dead man’s filthy headgear?”

  The chief fell silent and his face went pale. This was probably far beyond what he was prepared to deal with. He just seemed to freeze.

  In an upbeat tone, “But hey, what do I know? It’s probably something innocent like, um… maybe they knew each other? Yes, that would expin it. Makes perfect sense. See, mystery solved.”

  Looks like the chief’s recently emptied mind tched onto this new expnation with both cws. I had to look away from the fury that started to percote to the surface. The chief just manage to keep his voice low and the prisoner simply sunk to his knees. Looks like this trial is over.

  The ruthless manipution I just performed is not to be used lightly. I’d never even consider this normally, but honestly, the bandana-thief of the manga really pissed me off. Back when I read this story, I remember wondering: How would a vilger without an appraisal skill know the headscarf’s value? He simply had to be connected to the raiders. People died. His friends and neighbors died. This dude should fry!

  OK, maybe this is why my friends say I need to chill out. Fact remains, the guy really is guilty… as far as I know. Well, at least he didn’t deny it… as far as I know. I couldn’t understand their conversation. Technically, the chief could be using him as a scapegoat. That could expin why the chief tried so hard to avoid the obvious questions. Nah, probably not. Anyway, good to get rid of this (presumed) thief and (suspected) colborator. On a completely unreted note, I wonder if a longer svery contract will bump up the sale price?

  With nothing better to do, I spoke to the vilge merchant, who also speaks Brie… heck, I’ll just call it ‘English’. Anyway, I arranged to hitch a ride to town early the next morning. He called it “Va-le” but I’m starting to get used to these accent differences. Whatever it’s called, it’s probably the next pce I need to be.

  Still morning and not having much to do, I started walking past the edge of the vilge, heading towards the forest. Some random vilger called out to me in Valic (my own name for the local nguage, we’re near Vale after all). Apparently he’s trying to warn me about something. Seems like I should listen, but I just draw my sword and try to motion, “I’ll be fine”. He seemed convinced enough not to run after me or fetch help so I guess it wasn’t too important. Either that or he thinks I just threatened to kill him if he interferes.

  I’ll keep my guard up but seriously doubt I’ll find a dragon or family of trolls at the tree line. Still, I’d hate to have my ass handed to me by a few rabid squirrels. I wonder if there are any monsters out here or if it’s just normal animals. If I don’t go too deep, I should at least get a bit of sword practice.

  I soon encountered some cute little rabbits, which turned out to be aggressive little monsters. The difference, besides threat level, is that they went poof and left little rewards (scraps of fur) when defeated, instead of, you know, dead rabbits. I used these nasty, not-at-all-cute rabbits to practice finer control than the clumsy, brute-force technique I had used against the thugs.

  It was going well, for me at least, till one went all Vorpal Bunny [1] on me and tried to rip out my throat. Seemed best to make a strategic retreat and go back to the safety of the vilge. This might have been what that vilger tried to warn me about… or maybe something even worse. Maybe I should stop acting so cocky after just one successful fight.

  I eventually ran into the vilge chief, who seems to have calmed down a bit. I’m a bit curious about what happened to the thief, but best not to ask. Seems that the chief was actually looking for me — better not tell him about my trek to the forest.

  “Very sorry, but my wife says that your trousers were torn and, unfortunately, we don’t have the tools to repair such fine cloth. Should she use normal thread or would you prefer to have them repaired at a tailor’s shop in town?”

  “Yeah, I saw that rip. Just leave them and I’ll try to get them fixed ter, thanks.”

  Didn’t have the heart to admit I’d probably just toss them.

  “As you wish, Sir David. Also, we would appreciate if you could accept this small reward for saving our vilge. I wish it could be more, but we at least want to give you this much.”

  I got a little sack with about 13 gold coins. Don’t remember what each is worth but probably a lot. May seem petty to accept money from a humble vilge, but I really do need some start-up funds. Actually, this is nothing compared to what I’m about to propose.

  “Thank you very much, Chief. This will really help me get settled. But, I really do feel bad that you lost so many people. You lost good men and women were widowed. So, if it would help, I’d be willing to help restore that bance by bringing someone along with me.”

  I sound sexist as hell, which ought to work here.

  “Um, what? Excuse me, but I don’t really…”

  “Oh no, I’m not suggesting anything so vulgar as buying someone. I’m just offering to help shoulder your burden by asking if one of your people would be willing to help me for a while. How about this: If someone you could spare could stay with me for a year or so, I will make sure she learns um, this nguage.”

  I’m assuming he wouldn’t want one of the remaining men to leave.

  “Still, what woman would just follow a stranger and…”

  “Oh, I assure you, she’ll just assist me in the byrinths. Not, you know, that. She’ll be well-paid and…”

  “Paid? Having too many widows is difficult for a vilge our size.”

  “Excellent but make sure it’s someone who would really like to come with me.”

  “Shouldn’t be a problem. Everyone saw how capable you are, Sir David.”

  “Short notice but I hope to head out first-thing tomorrow morning. I’ve already arranged a ride with your merchant.”

  Almost too enthusiastically, “Oh, so soon? I’ll bring her here right now. Please wait for a moment.”

  “Ah, thanks. That’d be great.”

  Suspiciously fast, like he’d already arranged this, the chief returned with a woman, Tuuli. She’s a few years older than me, has a medium build and an average appearance. She looks strong enough to be helpful — just what I’m looking for. We sat down for a quick conversation with the chief transting. As expected, she’s a widow, but thankfully, not from today’s event. [2]

  Tuuli currently has the job of Farmer, but has evidently hunted small animals with a crude spear. Importantly, she’ll accept going to the byrinths. Actually, she might be anxious to get out of here since her prospects might not be great. Sure hope that hasn’t made her oversell herself.

  With a handshake and a smile, she hurried off to get ready for an early-morning departure.

  “Thanks. I think she’ll work out well. Good pick.”

  “Yes, she’ll be contracted to you for three years. A good deal for both sides.” OK, maybe they even held a pre-screening and interview without me. “Sir David, please join us for dinner after sunset, if you could.”

  “Thanks, I’ll see you then, Chief.”

  I then went back to the merchant to ask where I should hunt and he directed me to the area I’d already picked at random. Apparently, that actually was the safest spot around here. Now with a bit more respect for my opponents, I put myself in unnecessary danger once again.

  I tried to imagine myself pying an infiltration game where one wrong move could bring them all down on me — because that’s exactly what could happen. I ended up collecting quite a few little furs and made my way back to the vilge before sunset.

  Had a nice, simple dinner with the chief and his wife. Still quite early in the evening, but I was more than ready to hit the hay.

  “Thanks for dinner. It was great. Need to get up early so I’ll head out now. The little barn past the main cabbage field looks comfortable. Hope that’s okay.” Can’t really tell him that I don’t want to go back to that little room. Even if they brought out a bed, it’d probably be too short and uncomfortable.

  “Oh, sorry if I didn’t offer earlier, but you’re perfectly welcome to stay here at my house.”

  “Thanks but I’ve gotten used to sleeping outdoors. Besides, it’ll be easier to hear if any of the raiders return in the night.”

  “Oh! Do you really think that…”

  “No, no, well, highly unlikely, but, just in case.” Damn, better knock on wood.

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  [1] The MC of the LN uses the proper name, Rabbit of Caerbannog, of Monty Python fame. The manga skipped the rabbit hunt so David’s reaction is simir by chance. Not knowing the proper name (few would), he combined the Python reference with the Jabberwocky sword (by way of D&D).[2] Tuuli is an original character and not Tirihi from the LN. David doesn’t meet Tirihi since he doesn’t cim to be able to evaluate weapons.