John’s head pounded like a kick drum. His body ached and his mouth was dry once more. He felt a pulsating sickness deep in his gut and his head swam with nausea.

  Opening his eyes he forced himself to sit up. He felt around his body but there was no external pain and his bodysuit was still intact, negating his worry of having been probed.

  Wherever he was, it was dark and the floor was hard and bumpy. Staggering to his feet and resisting the urge to vomit, John moved around but struggled to ascertain where he was.

  It seems our last contestant is awake! An overly jovial voice said from the darkness, it sounded as if it was transmitting both from a PA speaker and directly into my mind. Contestant, are you ready to run the gauntlet?

  As soon as the question was posed lights flickered on. momentarily blinding John who raised his hand to his brow in a vain attempt to shield his retina.

  Circus music began to play and flickering, multi-coloured lights flashed all around him. A glowing red arrow sign pulsated against what seemed to be a cave wall, pointing him towards an entrance painted like a kaleidoscope.

  “Where am I?” He asked the voice dazedly.

  You’re in the gauntlet! What is the gauntlet, I hear you ask? The gauntlet is a new game that has been devised for Battle Royale: Earth. The rules are simple: reach the end and don’t die and you’ll get rewarded.

  “Oh… great,” John replied as he took in his surroundings, “where’s Truffle?”

  The baby orc was not selected to compete in this game, The voice replied matter-of-factly. Are you ready to take on the gauntlet?

  John was far from ready. He was pretty sure he was suffering from a mild concussion and he hated the circus. Clowns were creepy, and the underground vibe of this gauntlet game gave him serious IT vibes.

  “Do I have a choice?” He asked the voice.

  There’s always a choice, contestant. You could choose not to participate in the gauntlet. Of course the only way out of here is by winning, so if you decide not to take part you will effectively be choosing to die of starvation.

  “Yeah… so much choice,” John replied facetiously. “Fine, I’ll run your gauntlet.”

  Fantastic! The voice said excitedly, please take the kaleido-slide-o when you’re ready, and remember, the entire universe is watching.

  New Quest:

  The Gauntlet

  Objective:

  Survive the gauntlet and reach the end.

  With a heavy sigh, John strode towards the kaleido-slide-o and gripped the iron bar that was bolted atop the entrance.

  As he stared into the abyss, he felt his stomach attempt a daring somersault that was part fear, part anxiety, and part… excitement?

  This reward better be worth it, he thought, I could really use another card… or some more appropriate clothing. I look like the world’s worst superhero in this stupid bodysuit.

  With reckless abandon, he resigned himself to his fate and threw himself into the void. It felt like a slide at a kid’s park, except the interior was painted in that trippy, circus-like kaleidoscopic style. It was glowing and John felt like he’d just smoked a joint in a Seth Rogen movie.

  His body twisted from side to side as he slid down the death pipe and then shot out of the end. The world seemed to slow down as his body hurtled out of the slide’s exit. Looking around, he saw that at the end of the ride was a pit full of spikes.

  Thinking that it seemed like a bit of an underhanded tactic, John reached out and spun in midair, forcing his body to move to the side by throwing his arms around himself in a twisting circle and narrowly avoiding the spikes.

  In his mind, it was an epic move on par with a stunt from The Matrix. However, this was far from the truth as John more closely resembled a cat who had been startled by the sudden appearance of a cucumber. Still, he was alive and he still had the correct number of holes, so he called it a win.

  “What kind of cowardly bullshit was that?” He shouted into the empty hallway, gesturing at the spike pit.

  However, as he looked at the place that nearly spelled his demise, he froze. The spikes were covered in blood and three corpses were impaled on them, guts and viscera hanging out of their mutilated bodies which were barely held together by ripped, blue bodysuits.

  That could have been me, he thought with a gulp as he stared at the dead contestants.

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  The jovial voice had told him that he was the final contestant. Just how many victims had this game claimed already?

  Shaking his head and clenching his fists, he picked himself up off the ground and started walking in the only direction available to him: forward.

  John was certain that he was underground. The walls arounds him seemed very cave-like and the rough, rocky ground further confirmed his suspicions.

  When had The Council had the time to build this elaborate death trap? Was it possible that they had been secretly preparing the planet for this game show for years, or were they simply fast workers? Maybe he’d ask them if he ever got to meet a member, assuming they could still talk after he beat them senseless.

  John still wasn’t overly sure who this council were. From what Buck had said, and from what he could infer from Tanlan’s announcement, they ran the Battle Royale game that he was stuck in. But that was the extent of his knowledge.

  Buck… He thought, gritting his teeth as he marched through the cave, when I get out of here I’m putting a bullet right between that dino-fuck’s eyes.

  John didn’t have long with his thoughts before he came across the next death trap.

  The cave path turned into a steep incline; a small wooden sign sat at the bottom which read: Grenade Cavalcade.

  Reading the sign and shrugging to himself, John began the steep climb to the top. The word grenade had him on guard, but he’d look around and couldn’t spot anything out of the ordinary.

  Not like I have a choice.

  He started walking up the steep path and soon devolved into climbing on his hands and knees using natural hand holds as leverage.

  Something sticky and wet clung to his fingers as he gripped a grove in the rock. Pulling his hand to his face, he grimaced as he realised that it was blood.

  Had someone been injured here? … Or even killed?

  That was when the pin dropped.

  John heard a clink as something shinny caught the corner of his eyes. He turned towards it and gasped. A fragmentation grenade began rolling down the hill towards him, bouncing off the uneven ground.

  Diving to one side, John threw his arms over his head in a panic as an explosion rocked the landscape and threw dirt and stone over him.

  Glancing to the side, he saw a fractured skull with tufts of hair and a loose eyeball hanging from it. Someone had died here and the force from the grenades had ripped their body into bits. John turned away and began scrambling up the hill as fast as he could.

  Clink.

  Clink.

  Clink.

  His heart skipped a beat at the sound and he looked up to see three more frags bouncing towards him.

  “Come on!” He yelled in frustration as he threw himself up the slope.

  There was no way that he could avoid them all, so in a mad panic, John rushed towards the closest grenade and kicked it as hard as he could. It flew back the way it came and John ducked once more, covering his head just as the three blasts went off in quick succession.

  The terrain was getting harder and harder to navigate as the frags blew chunks out of the rock, but John gritted his teeth and pushed through it anyway.

  He was almost at the top when he heard a cacophony of clinks as more grenade pins dropped to the floor and a part of the roof gave way.

  John looked up just in time to see a swarm of frags raining down around him. His eyes bulged and his heart jumped into his chest as he scrambled up the last section of the hill.

  The grenades fell all around him and he knew he only had a few seconds, if he was lucky, before his insides painted the cave red. Back in basic training, when he was a National Guard, John was taught that a grenade had a four to five second delay. Of course, that was nearly a decade ago, he’d only finished his eight years of service in 2022. Assuming these were similar, that was how long he had left to live if he didn’t do something fast.

  Throwing caution to the wind he dived over the lip of the hill and rolled down the other side. At the top there was a slight dip which he hoped would provide him with some protection. His bodysuit ripped and his skin was cut and grazed as he rolled away, but that pain was better than the imminent death that blocked his retreat.

  BOOM!

  A myriad of explosions went off behind him as dirt, rock and shrapnel flew all around him. The air was thick with the smell of cordite and, though bruised and battered, he was alive.

  After a moment of panting, John picked himself up off the ground and carried on down the tunnel, except now he had options.

  Before him stood three paths, each with their own picket sign staked into the ground. They said: The Mime Field, Whowie’s Big Top, and The Live Wire.

  They’re all circus themed, John noticed as he read through the three signs with their three separate paths. Then the jovial voice came back.

  You have three choices before you. You can only pick one, and each comes with a unique prize… assuming you survive.

  “Which prize is the best?” John asked the voice.

  Why, the prize you get for winning the main event of course, it replied, and then the voice faded away.

  The main event? John thought.

  With the gauntlet having a strong circus theme, there was only one option: the big top. That was where the lion tamers usually did their show. The ringmaster was usually the circus leader, at least to the best of John’s knowledge, which was heavily influenced by TV shows.

  Not one to second guess himself, John chose the middle path with a shrug.

  He walked for a short while up a steep, winding path until he came across a huge circus tent which blocked his path. Pinstriped in white and red, it was the exact same big top that children the world over had dreamed of visiting at some time or another.

  Every child that is, apart from John. He hated clowns.

  Stuck into the ground in front of the tent was a small wooden sign which said: Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Entertain.

  Unsure of whether the sign had butchered the Dante quote on purpose or not, John sighed before cautiously lifting the tent flap and stepping inside.

  Slow, pulsating circus music thudded quietly as John walked through the tent. The interior was exactly what one would expect, tiered seating lined the outer area whilst a high wire and various gymnastics apparatus were set up in the middle.

  As John approached the centre of the big top, the tense and creepy music got louder.

  Why does this feel like the build up to a mini boss? John wondered as he cautiously scanned the empty tent.

  … And now! The jovial voice from before rang out around the tent as bright spotlights began dancing around the dark tent interior, the moment you’ve all been waiting for. In this corner, weighing in at 185 pounds and looking like he’d rather be anywhere else but here, it’s our Earth contestant… John Doe!

  A deafening cacophony of cheers and screams erupted from all around the room. John turned suddenly at the sound and saw people… or rather a myriad of aliens, sitting in the stands which circled the tent.

  And in this corner weighing in at 642 pounds and stretching a whopping 23 and a half feet long, it’s the undefeated champion of the big top, the amphibian that’ll beat you into oblivion, it’s the one, the only: WHOWIE!

  The crowd went wild, screaming, stamping, and clapping as the ground began to vibrate. Loud, ominous thuds filled the tent as John looked directly across at his kaiju of an opponent.

  “I’m gonna need a bigger gun,” he said with a gulp.