He levelled the revolver calmly at the triceratops motherfucker who had forced him into this god-awful situation.
Breathing heavily, as his skin burned with the remnants of the Whowie’s stomach acid, John began to squeeze the trigger.
Now, now contestant, the jovial announcer’s voice chimed around the tent causing John to loosen his grip slightly. Attacking council employees is against the rules.
“Fuck your rules!” He shouted, anger welling up inside of him. The annoyingly chipper voice of the cruel announcer did not help the situation. “This guy knocked me out and threw me into the gauntlet to die. I deserve revenge.”
“Please John,” Buck pleaded, crouching down in the stands and trying to make himself smaller. “I was just doing my job… and you won! You’ll get a reward for this, not to mention the airtime.” He was rambling, trying desperately to save his scaley hide, and John knew it. His cowardice served to annoy John even more as he gritted his teeth and further squeezed his finger on the trigger.
As he looked the dinosaur dead in the eyes, his own vision began to crackle and fade. The adrenaline from the battle was leaving his body and his outstretched arm began to shake as he felt every injury he had sustained.
It was agonising, and as his vision spotted, he suddenly found that he was looking up at the roof of the pinstriped tent. He heard a gunshot echo throughout the tent and the shrill screams which followed.
A notification filled his vision, but even that was shaky.
Quest Complete:
The Gauntlet
Objective:
Survive the gauntlet and reach the end.
Reward:
- Full Recovery
- X100 Shards
Do you want to accept all rewards now?
Y/N
John mentally asserted yes just as his consciousness faded and the world turned black.
***
Sitting up groggily, John opened his sticky eyelids and blinked rapidly at the bright light surrounding him. He appeared to be sat on a small bed inside a bedroom the size of a closet.
He was stark naked, covered only by a thin sheet, but he felt weirdly alright. Pressing his hand up against his chest, he felt no pain and saw no bruises.
Lifting his left arm, he realised that it was no longer dislocated. He vaguely remembered completing a quest and accepting the rewards for it, but he was badly injured, angry, and his mind was on the fritz when it happened. Needless to say, the memory was hazy at best.
Standing up shakily, he wrapped the sheet around his waist and opened the thin wooden door, finding himself in familiar surroundings.
The door opened into a short corridor which led into the same diner he’d been abducted from earlier: The Outback Sleep Shack.
Buck stood behind the counter polishing glasses with a dirty rag whilst chatting idly with Truffle. They both turned to look at the semi-naked human as he stepped cautiously into the diner.
“Good morning sleepy head,” Truffle called, “are you feeling better now?”
John nodded once, refusing to take his eyes away from the squirming triceratops.
“Listen, I know we got off to a bad start but hear me out ok?” Buck said cautiously as John folded his arms and raised a single eyebrow. “I wasn’t entirely truthful when I explained my role to you before. I do run this diner and I can answer questions about the game, but there is no such thing as a safe room and I’m also charged with sending contestants into various dungeons, games and other contests. It’s part of my contract with the council. I’m indentured to them and if I don’t fulfil my obligations I’ll be killed.”
John kept his arms folded as he considered the dinosaur’s hurried and desperate reply. It seemed closer to the truth, though that didn’t rid John of his scepticism. He’d been lied to once already and it could easily happen again. He simply didn’t know enough about this game or the council to be sure.
“Even if that’s true, I nearly died because of you,” he replied. “What’s to stop me from painting this diner with your brains right now?”
“Well… Assuming you value your life, there’s the fact that murdering council employees comes with the extermination penalty.”
John eyed the sketchy triceratops harshly. After a long, awkward moment, he sighed and took a seat on one of the red-cushioned bar stools in front of the counter.
“I’ll believe you… for now,” he began, purposefully refusing to take his eyes away from Buck’s scaley face. “However, if you cross me again I will put a bullet in you, consequences be damned.”
Buck swallowed hard, a thin bead of sweat cresting his brow as he nodded slowly.
“Boss will put a hole in your head like he did in that tent before he fainted!” Truffle chimed in, looking to John and nodding his head once.
Nice try buddy, John thought with a sigh.
“Y-you have my word that this won’t happen again,” Buck stammered.
John wasn’t so certain. Surely a council employee charged with such a dangerous task would have means of protecting themselves against contestants like him.
For now though, he’d take him at his word and keep an eye on him at the same time. That should prevent any more unforeseen circumstances.
“Ok, just no more Rohypnol in the food. Got it?” Buck nodded frantically and John continued, placing both elbows on the counter and leaning forward slightly. “I’m also going to need you to explain a few things for me. To start with, how do I get more cards.”
“Sometimes you can find cards in the wild, but there are only two surefire ways to acquire cards: win challenges or purchase them at the kiosk.” Buck replied.
“What’s a kiosk?”
“We have one right here, it’s over in that corner,” Buck said, gesturing towards something resembling an ATM machine.
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“Alright, and what about challenges?” John asked, “What are they and how do I find them?”
“There are lots of different types of challenges,” Buck replied, “The Gauntlet was one actually, though the reward for that one was shards. There are challenges spread throughout this round and they’re usually pretty easy to find. The more challenges you complete, the faster you’ll find cards and the more views you’ll get. Of course, at this stage in the game their main draw is allowing you to complete your deck which is a requirement for entering the torii gate to the next round.”
Catching a glimpse of John’s quizzical face, the triceratops also hastily added: “shards are like an in-game currency that can be spent at the kiosk, you should have gotten some for completing The Gauntlet.”
“Ok,” John replied slowly, “and what about skills?”
He had received three skills in total since the start of the game and he was pretty sure the latest one was the reason he had managed to defeat the Whowie.
“Skills?” Buck replied with narrowed eyes, “did you hit your head when you passed out or something? I know I’ve been calling it a game, but this is no video game John. People don’t just get randomly awarded skill points.”
How odd, John thought, deciding to play along and keep his mysterious skills to himself for now. Perhaps it was a glitch in the system and if that was the case he didn’t want anyone nerfing it.
“Ooh,” Truffle said, scrabbling at the countertop and trying to look over the top, “I have a question! How come I haven’t needed to poop yet?”
Both John and Buck looked at him incredulously. Then, scratching the back of his scaled head, Buck replied. “Bodily functions like that have been turned off for the duration of the game. Back in the early days they didn’t used to do that, or so I’ve heard, but it tanked the show’s ratings. Turns out most people don’t want to watch a dude drop to his haunches to drop a deuce. Though, from what I’ve seen of this planet’s culture, some humans paid good money for exactly that. Apparently it was quite popular on a site called OnlyFans, along with sending pictures of feet. Your species is weird.”
Truffle looked oddly upset, but he didn’t say anything.
A shiver passed down John’s spine as he realised that toilet time would never be the same again. Man’s single moment of peaceful, uninterrupted solace had been soiled. Cast into the annals of history.
Pushing the intrusive thought out of his mind, John rose from his stool and approached the kiosk in the corner of the diner. The rectangular machine was about the height and width of a typical arcade game. However, in place of a joystick or card reader, there was simply a console with the shape of a hand outlined on it.
Placing his hand on the machine, John felt a warmth spread through his palm and fingers as flashing lights glowed beneath his skin.
Then, the screen lit up.
It looked similar to an online retailer’s interface with a search function, a cart and even recommended items. John looked through the recommended section and saw something interesting.
Contestant Interface:
Recommended for all contestants, the interface will allow you to see your cards, level, ratings, a map, and the number of days until the round ends, at any time.
Price: 50 shards
50 shards, John thought, that’s half my total winnings from that gauntlet game.
His total shards were listed in big numbers at the top of the screen. John knew that an interface would be useful, he had no idea how long it had been since he’d landed in the outback and he imagined that time would become even more difficult to effectively judge as the game went on.
Hesitantly, he added it to his cart and then navigated the search function to find cards.
Cards:
You cannot currently afford any cards. The purchase of cards starts at 1000 shards.
“1000 shards!” John yelled, then caught himself and dialled it back a bit.
He would have to complete ten challenges to get that many. He’d only gained 100 from The Gauntlet and he’d nearly died fighting the Whowie. How was he ever going to get a full deck if that was the price point?
“Most people get their cards through specific challenges,” Buck said after hearing John’s accidental yelp. “Challenge cards are usually better anyway. The main reason you can purchase them at the kiosk is for situations such as only needing one more to qualify to enter the gate… well, that and the executives’ team building days.”
Nodding along thoughtfully, John decided to attempt to address one of his other immediate needs: clothing. The search function brought up all sorts of items from board shorts and bikinis to full plate armour and tactical combat gear.
John found himself scrolling for a while before something in his price range actually caught his eye.
Upgradable Duster (common):
This stylish duster is the perfect companion for the desert dwelling contestant. Keep the sun off your back and the monster’s out of your organs. This luxurious piece of kit boasts a generous self-repair function and a minor defence against melee damage. It can also be upgraded, so you can keep it until the day you inevitably get brutally murdered.
Now available in black, brown, or tan!
Price: 45 shards.
That seemed more like it. A piece of clothing that he could keep and that offered him some protection from both melee attacks and the elements.
With a sly smile, he added a black one to his basket and then added a cheap pair of jeans, boots, and a plaid shirt, bringing his total to a rounded 100 shards.
John clicked to purchase and two things happened. Firstly, a small tube rocketed out of a clear hole in the machine, nearly hitting John in the gut. Secondly, his vision went blank for a moment and he felt a sharp pain in his hand as, what appeared to be, alien computer code took over his retina.
It was like watching an old PC booting up as green text lit up his vision, typing frantically across the screen before disappearing.
Once it was gone, his vision returned, but it was different from before. In his periphery there were various numbers and options for him to choose. They weren’t particularly invasive unless he actively looked for them, but they were always there, no matter how much he shook his head or tried to look away.
“Are you ok Boss?” Truffle asked in a concerned voice, “do you have fleas? You’re shaking your head like you have fleas.”
“No Truffle,” John replied, “I’m just testing something out.”
“I know that reaction,” Buck said wistfully, “you bought a contestant interface didn’t you? It’s a good purchase, as long as you don’t mind The Council being inside your head forever.”
There were a few different features floating around in John’s vision, the most noticeable was a mini map. When he concentrated it expanded and he could see a little trail leading towards a big rock surrounded by blackness.
It seemed the map only updated with places he’d physically been. He wondered if he could find The Gauntlet on it but pushed the idea out of his mind as he looked through the next feature.
His level was also there, it said level N/A and when he concentrated on it nothing happened. That was odd, surely he’d gained enough experience to have at least a single level by now?
Next to that there was a section that said countdown 8 days remaining in large writing.
Wait, John thought, I’ve been here for two days already?
How had that happened? He’d barely done anything. He was also slightly annoyed that it only showed days and not the exact number of hours and minutes left. It seemed like a flaw in the system, but he was certain it was purposeful.
He turned towards Buck for answers but the dinosaur was way ahead of him, lifting his finger like a schoolteacher giving a lecture.
“You can’t level up until you’ve acquired a full deck of cards. Once you have though, and your level increases, you’ll be able to buy better items at the kiosk,” Buck explained. “It also increases things like your strength and how much damage you can take before you die.
Before you ask, no, you can’t see those stats; The Council took that feature out a few seasons ago after a clever contestant started gaming the system to become overpowered... It was a real mess.
“As for the timer, yes it has been two days already and the reason it feels like less to you is because you’ve been unconscious for a lot of it. You were the final contestant on The Gauntlet and you were kept in stasis until it was your turn.”
“Wow,” Truffle said in awe, “are you a mind reader? I think he’s a mind reader boss.”
“No, not at all,” Buck chuckled, “I’ve just been doing this a long time.”
John flushed an angry crimson colour and the triceratops flinched, raising his hands defensively.
“Check your ratings!” He squealed and John noticed another section in his peripheral vision. It was entitled ratings and he focused on it to see if it expanded.
Ratings:
Rating: 4.2 stars
Views: 100,038
Likes: 17,382
Follows: 10,021
“Ok, that’s a lot of views,” John said slowly, “are people watching me right now?”
“Well, yeah,” Buck replied with a shrug, “this is a game show, people are watching you all the time. How do you think The Council makes its money? Though that’s not as many as you might think. The entire universe is watching, that’s not even one view per system. You’ll have to work pretty hard if you want to get your views up, especially with so much competition out there at the moment. But, if you do get popular, I promise it’ll be worth it.”
John stood silently for a moment as the horror sank in. He would never have a moment of privacy again. His life was valued at how popular he was on a game show and how many people followed him. This must have been what it felt like to be a social media influencer, but without the ego trip and copious amount of money for doing fuck all.
His wife, Anne, had always loved posting things on social media. She’d posted holiday pictures, pictures of Truffle, even the food they got at restaurants, but this was a whole other level.
He tried to put the thought out of his mind. He hated this, hated all of it, but there was no use dwelling on it now. It wasn’t like there was anything he could do about his situation anyway. Besides, there was only one thing that mattered to him at the moment, and that was collecting cards and getting stronger.
He walked towards the tube that had nearly winded him and pressed the release clasp on the side.
Unfurling his new clothes, he dressed himself and donned his black duster. He had only one regret once he’d put on his new outfit.
I wish I’d have bought some underwear.