Fourteen hours on that airplane felt shorter than it should have, but I was excited to see the new region and complete our objective as soon as possible. If things went well, we’d be free to do as we pleased.

  Winnie, Banette, and the more prank-happy members of the ghost gang were disappointed they wouldn’t get to keep pranking the hostesses. It wasn’t anything wild, just Winnie changing into different Pokemon and confusing them each time they brought the ghosts something to eat or drink. Eventually Winnie got tired of it and settled into the Lucario illusion once we were almost at Hoenn.

  I was really psyched to go check out Lavaridge’s hot springs, but a quick search of the town informed me that the entire place was still mostly under construction. All of the trails and routes near the mountain, Mauville, going east were closed as well, with only main trails like routes 118 and 123 being open for this season.

  Why was it closed? Well, a ton of articles let me know that this was the result of what people now called, the Aqua and Magma Incident. Beforehand, I only had a general idea of what happened from a combination of brief mentions on the news and meta knowledge, but holy shit, was I not expecting what I found.

  Last season (also the season that Ash Ketchum was in Hoenn), Team Magma went to Mt Chimney where Maxie used the stolen Red Orb to awaken Groudon and revert it to its primal form. That resulted in the volcano erupting and splitting down the middle as Groudon broke its way out and headed west to go find Kyogre and finish their fight from a thousand years ago.

  There were a ton of videos of people filming the massive, smoke-shrouded silhouette of Groudon in the distance as they evacuated their homes under the guidance of Ace trainers and police while the world around them burned. The legendary was WAY bigger than I remembered it should’ve been, this motherfucker was godzilla sized, it was tall enough to match a skyscraper, and built like a fucking bulldozer.

  A few other grainy videos showed a swarm of ace trainers on flying Pokemon trying to aggro the legendary in order to draw it away from Mauville. Groudon roared so loudly that the camera vibrated and swiped its claws. The ground jumped and cracked, then the cameraman fell over, barely being able to keep the already shaky camera trained on the kaiju as jagged, mountain sized pieces of rock speared their way out of the ground at the ace trainers, moving faster than what should’ve been possible for objects so large.

  The camera getting shakier made it hard to make out what was going on, but there was a bright, iridescent flash. Then, like a bullet, a large, steel colored Pokemon rammed itself into Primal Groudon’s head with enough force to make the legendary reel back, finally getting its full attention. Another silvery bird-like Pokemon slashed at the colossal Pokemon’s eyes, earning a roar of frustration from it as it turned away from Mauville to pursue the Pokemon causing it grief. The red legendary’s maw opened wide as it spat an immense gout of fire and magma that lit up the sky in a hellish red glow, and then the video cut off.

  Winnie shuddered at the thought of fighting a Pokemon like Groudon, while Banette said she would’ve left the moment things started to look bad. Gengar commented that it looked like the start of an apocalypse, or a war, Mismagius added. I agreed, if it looked horrifying on video, I couldn’t even begin to imagine what it would’ve been like to experience that, let alone fight primal Groudon. That shit made getting chased by Kaiju’s mom feel waaaay less scary. I was glad I got dropped in Unova well after the incident.

  As for what happen to Maxie and his admins, they were apprehended by Gym leader Flannery, Elite four member Sidney, Ace trainers, as well as a few trainers who happened to be in the area. It didn’t name who the trainers were, but I could recognize Ash Ketchum and his Pikachu anywhere, so presumably Brock, May, and Max were with him too.

  During the whole Groudon thing, Team Aqua invaded Sootopolis using mega evolved Pokemon. Gym leader Wallace, his predecessor Juan, and Norman’s eldest son Brendan, took down Archie and his Admins. It wasn’t very clear how, but it seems like a Team Aquan grunt was able to grab the blue orb and get into the cave to awaken Kyogre while the others were distracted.

  There weren’t really any videos on what happened to Kyogre because everyone was inside Sootopolis’s caldera while ace trainers led by Wallace and Juan bought time by fighting Kyogre. Apparently the fight against Kyogre resulted in more ace trainer deaths than the fight against Groudon due to the legendary spamming Sheer Cold.

  In response to the mess that Teams Aqua and Magma had created, the Draconid’s Lorekeeper at the time, an elderly woman named Aster, summoned Rayquaza, mega evolved it, and together they subdued Kyogre and Groudon. There wasn’t any mention of where the primordial Pokemon went, or any other news on Aster or the Draconids after that, but considering what Ginger told me about her death, the strain of mega evolving a legendary might’ve been too much for her. The pokenet listed her age as being in her late 80s.

  The aftermath of the incident was catastrophic, a death toll in the ten thousands, most of them being due to flash flooding and sudden onset hurricane. Despite being ground zero for Kyogre’s awakening, Sootopolis surprisingly got away with little to no damage or casualties due to being sheltered by a massive caldera and being a water type focused city, so even if it flooded, almost everyone knew how to swim and/or had a water type Pokemon who could assist them.

  On the other hand, those who were lucky enough to survive now had to deal with life ruining property damage. Tons of coastal and floating towns were swept away, and there was major damage to the larger coastal cities like Ever Grande, Mossdeep, Lilycove, and Slateport.

  Inland, all the towns and cities in Groudon’s path had to deal with lava damage and smog from the volcano. Worst of all, almost all of the berry farms along Route 123 in Hoenn’s eastern inland area were completely destroyed. That was a massive hit to the region’s economy because one of Hoenn’s biggest money making industries was exporting tropical berries.

  So yeah, I began to understand why Hoenn’s people were so angry about what happened. I’d be mega mad if I lost my home, job, friends, neighbors, and family because a smog spewing volcano godzilla, and biblical flood whale almost turned the entire country into their personal boxing ring, and the only reason this didn’t happen was because an old lady came in clutch with her angry green sky noodle to put the two in timeout.

  Opinions online were pretty divided on who was really to blame, it was hard to tell what was a reliable source, but it seems a lot of people were trying to defend Stone, pointing out that there were multiple people in the Hoenn government who also could’ve done something or been more effective at stopping Aqua and Magma, so why weren’t fingers being pointed at them too?

  Now that I thought about it, what the hell were the gym leaders and especially the elite four doing? I got that gym leaders were mainly just responsible for the city they lived in, plus surrounding areas, but surely if Steven wasn’t able to do something, someone else could’ve done something, idk, maybe someone from the elite four? Or someone else in the Hoenn government with the power to investigate Maxie and Archie before everything happened?

  Gengar’s opinion was that this might have been the result of what we’d seen happen in Kalos with how Lysandre was friends with basically everyone in the Kalos government, including the champion. People definitely thought he was eccentric, but a leader of an evil organization? Nahhhh. He’s just a funny guy with a weird haircut, he totally didn’t mean to weaponize a railgun nuke machine from thousands of years ago.

  But what a mess, I wouldn’t touch any of the stuff happening in Hoenn with a thirty-nine and a half foot long pole if I could help it. Once the airplane descended below the clouds to begin preparations for landing, I tore my attention away from doom scrolling threads of people arguing about the Aqua and Magma incident to see the city below.

  Rustboro was a very spread out, sandy-tan colored city, with a lot of brick buildings. Very neat looking and very rock type coded, even from a distance.

  As we got closer to Rustboro, I could see signs of ash burnt into some of the taller buildings, and the remains of buildings in the suburbs outside the city, but the city itself seemed to be thriving. It probably helped that Rustboro was one of the least affected cities from the incident. Fortree and Petalburg I think were also relatively unaffected too due to being inland and not in Groudon’s path.

  After landing, we were brought to a sleek black car with tinted windows, and then driven to Devon Tech’s HQ. Through the car window, we observed a ton of rock type Pokemon just going about their morning routines alongside the human population. There was even someone riding an Onix in the middle of the road. Banette and I thought it looked cool, Gengar and Mismagius thought it was impractical to use a giant rock snake as casual aboveground transportation, and Winnie was wondering how much a Pokemon taller than a two story building ate.

  Rotom answered that with a Pokedex reading, “Onix, the rock snake Pokemon. It eats rocks and other minerals in the way while burrowing, and can tunnel at speeds of up to 50 mph. Onix are able to navigate underground using the magnet in it’s brain as a compass. The tunnels an Onix leaves behind are often used as homes by Diglett.”

  Banette’s immediate reaction to that was, “I wonder what they poop if they only eat rocks. How much do they poop?”

  Winnie stuck out his tongue and made a face, “that’s gross, must be a pain to clean up.”

  “Actually,” Gengar butted in, raising a finger out of a shadow near my foot, “Onix droppings are just dirt, sand, and crushed up rocks. So they’re not really gross. It’s a popular way of making sand for construction purposes.”

  Banette’s eyes widened and her voice cracked as she asked, “You mean we’re using poop houses?!” Winnie gagged and flicked the back of Banette’s head, “shut up, you’re grossing me out.”

  “On a less unsavory note,” Mismagius said from Winnie’s shadow, “Old Trevenant once told me a story about an Onix in the Orange Islands that was completely made out of blue crystals.”

  Gengar nodded, “Yeah, I remember that story. An Onix’s appearance depends on the types of minerals it has access to. Wild Onix are commonly used to find gem and precious metal veins.” He went on for a short while about a few papers that Professor Rowan and Elm had written about wild rock type Pokemon and their diets, but stopped when the car pulled up to the front entrance of the Devon Corporation building.

  Banette merged back into my shadow as we stepped out and were met by a peppy, clipboard holding man in a suit with a teacher’s pet vibe to him and brought to the top floor of the building, which mainly consisted of VIP offices. Peppery suit guy knocked twice on the door with the name plate: S. Stone, before opening it and pushing Winnie and I in and closing the door with a sharp click.

  My eyes widened a bit as I took in the massive office filled with large display cases full of carefully cleaned and labelled fossils, rocks, and gems. Areas not covered in a display case had fossil Pokemon themed decor. It was basically an awesome mini-museum with a big office desk and some other furniture there too.

  There was a clatter as Steven Stone, who was standing near the floor to ceiling windows overlooking Rustboro on the left, greeted us, “Hello Azalea and Winnie, thank you for coming all the way here. Please have a seat.”

  It felt a bit jarring not seeing the guy in business casual instead of his signature outfit. Now that I thought about it, almost every photo I’d seen of any champion had them in a signature outfit or a variation of the original.

  I was also taken aback by the large but very faded burn scar running diagonally across the lower left part of Steven’s face. Ouch. Well, he did kinda fight Groudon didn’t he? I glanced at the mega stickpin attached to the breastpocket of his shirt. Yeah that was definitely his mega Metagross in that video.

  The ex-champion smiled and gestured to a round table and some comfy leather seats near the window. Winnie and I went over and took a seat and he sat down across from us. Bro looks and sounds posh as fuck. Every other Hoenn person we’d encountered so far had a distinct ,kind of Japanese accent, but this guy had a mix of that and a posh maybe british accent but not quite?

  There was a clatter from Steven’s desk, and a Lileep themed pen cup holder fell to the ground and spilled the pens it was holding. The culprit was a Carbink with a polished, obsidian black body, and sky blue gems and highlights that made it stand out even among the gems featured in this office.

  “Bink!” The gem Pokemon chirped before falling onto its side and rolling off the desk and falling out of sight. There was a soft, CLUNK. The Cradily statue next to the fossil expert’s desk turned out to not be a statue, it slightly shifted so it could see behind the desk before settling back into the position it was in before with a sassy eye-roll.

  Carbink and Cradily’s antics earned a light-hearted chuckle from their trainer. Then Stone turned back to us, softly clearing his throat, “Don’t mind them. Would you guys like something to drink?”

  Winnie and I politely declined the offer. The ex-champion nodded, “Well then, let’s proceed. To preface, I am meeting you in Wallace’s place, so everything you tell me will be conveyed to him as well.”

  I nodded.

  “Now, you two are here because Olympia has informed me you know who’s been stealing keystones in Hoenn.” Steven’s face became more serious, “After the Aqua and Magma incident, the Hoenn Pokemon Association is concerned that another organization might be trying to use mega evolution for another terror attack while everyone is still recovering, so please spare no details.”

  Winnie settled back into his chair and muttered, “oh boy, wait till he hears what you have to say.” I lightly elbowed the illusion fox before clasping my hands together on the table and beginning the info dump. “Yeah, so…” I vaguely waved my hands, “Good news, it’s not another evil organization trying to take control of a legendary Pokemon, bad news, it’s worse than that.”

  Steven’s eyebrows slightly furrowed, and he slightly tilted his head in question. Otherwise, he still had on a polite poker face. I wished I had the ability to do the same.

  “Okay, the person you’re looking for is a woman named Zinnia. I dunno her last name, but she’s a Draconid, and from what I know, she’s the current Lorekeeper. Short description of her: she’s got red eyes and short dark brown hair.” I described, “As for her motive behind stealing Keystones…” I shrugged and waved a hand, “the Draconids have this thousand year old prophecy about a meteor hitting Hoenn–” Then I interrupted myself to ask, “Is there gonna be a meteor shower soon?”

  The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

  Steven blinked and nodded, “Uh, yes, actually. In a few days.” I gave him a thumbs up and briefly pointed outside to the sky, “Okay, yeah, so one of those meteors—which contains a Deoxys—is gonna suddenly change course and head for Hoenn. I met with Agent Ginger before coming here, and she told me it’s probably because of the two Deoxys that appeared in Hoenn last season.”

  The ex-champion’s poker face broke a little with a frown of concern at the mention of Interpol and possibility of the appearance of another Deoxys causing Rayquaza to go on another rampage. Absolutely the last thing Hoenn needed.

  Again, I pointed to the sky outside, “We can destroy the meteor and keep Hoenn safe by having a mega evolved Rayquaza destroy it.” Then I somewhat aggressively pointed at Steven, “don’t even think of using any sort of machine to do it, that will end in a catastrophe.” I don’t really remember a ton, but there was something about it being bad if they used a machine with similar abilities to the ultimate weapon to destroy the meteor I think?

  Before the guy even had a chance to figure out what I meant by ‘don’t use machine on meteor’, I said, “Right now, Rayquaza doesn’t have the power to mega evolve again. I’m pretty sure Zinnia thinks that she can give Rayquaza the power to mega evolve again if she uses the keystones she’s collected, but all she really needs to do is feed Rayquaza meteorites.”

  “Do we need a specific type of meteor?” Steven quickly asked.

  I actually didn’t know if we needed a specific meteor, but it would make sense if some meteors had mega energy while others didn’t. But for the sake of dealing with the giant rock, I nodded and replied, “Yes, that leads us to where we can get the type of meteor that Rayqaza needs. There’s a massive one called the giant rock, located at what I’m pretty sure are some ancient Draconid ruins. That meteor will need to be moved from those ruins, probably to somewhere near Sky Tower or some other protected place, or else it’s gonna get into the hands of another evil organization.”

  I paused to take a breath before finishing with, “Okay, any questions?”

  Steven had to ruminate for a moment before asking, “How do you know all this? Can you see the future like Olympia?”

  He’s asking how valid these claims are. I shook my head, “Uhhh nope, I can’t see the future. This is more like… Olympia and her Xatu told and showed me a bunch of future stuff and now I’m stuck running around trying to prevent major disasters.”

  I am not touching the whole meta knowledge subject again.

  The ex-champion seemed to believe this and nodded. He still had a poker face on, so I couldn’t really tell what he was thinking.

  “Okay.” Steven slowly said, “You mentioned meeting Agent Ginger before coming to Hoenn, is interpol getting involved?”

  “Huh?” I tilted my head, “Uhhh, aren’t you guys working with them?”

  “We’re not working with interpol.” Steven stated, shaking his head, “A keystone thief in Hoenn doesn’t fall under the umbrella of what Interpol deals with. It’s just concerning because Interpol getting involved in a case usually means there’s a bigger issue at hand that they’re not telling us about. Like the meteor.”

  Does a meteor threatening an entire region fall into what interpol would deal with? Now that I think about it, she seemed more interested in the Deoxys, and asking me if I was a faller than the meteor or Zinnia.

  I shrugged, “I can’t help you much with that. Honestly, I think she was more interested in the Deoxys than the prospect of a meteor deleting Hoenn. So, I don’t think so. Pretty sure they’re busy with stuff in other regions.” I’d imagine dealing with ultra beasts like Guzzlord and preventing someone from summoning Eternatus are higher on the danger list.

  My words weren’t very encouraging to say the least, but Steven just nodded and asked, “Noted. Final question. Do you know where Zinnia, or the giant rock are?”

  “Nope!” I answered with a bit more energy than I intended, “But she’ll definitely appear at the Sky Tower before the meteor shower to summon Rayquaza cause, you know…”

  “Yes, the meteor.” Steven sighed, he looked like he had aged ten years in the last few minutes.

  Sorry man. “As for the giant rock, I’ve got two names of two people from Olympia who I think can help me find it: Claudia and Sylvester. I’m pretty sure they’re Draconids.”

  “Give us some time to contact the Draconids first.” Steven immediately said, I could hear a bit of strain in his voice, “Tensions are still high with them and they won’t take well to an outsider accusing their lorekeeper of anything.”

  “Of course!” I agreed, “I’ll be glad to leave the talking to someone who knows what they’re doing.” Last thing I want is to create a political mess for them.

  Winnie looked between us as there was a long pause as Steven seemed to contemplate something. Then I finally broke the silence, “Sooo, uhh…”

  “I don’t have anymore questions,” Steven said, “if that’s everything, you two are free to go.”

  “Aight.” I nodded, then all three of us got up. I shook Steven’s offered hand as he said, “Thank you for the information Azalea. You’ll be contacted once Wallace has talked with the Draconids.”

  I just gave him a thumbs up and said, “Got it.” Before grabbing Winnie and skedaddling.

  Seated behind his desk, Steven blankly stared at his office door. He had been doing so for the last few minutes since Azalea and Winnie left. He blinked and put a hand to his head as he felt the beginnings of a headache coming in. The ex-champion was still mildly horrified at the casual manner in which the young trainer told him about his region’s impending doom. It was as if she were talking about something she read in a kid’s book or a TV show.

  Well, it wasn’t like he hadn’t dealt with individuals like that. Phoebe would probably be drooling over the possibility of witnessing a mass extinction event, even if it meant her being part of that extinction. And from what Lance had told him, the Indigo League’s resident ghost master Agatha was just as eccentric, but with collecting ghosts Pokemon. Specifically, formerly human ghosts.

  Says the guy who meticulously collects, cleans, and labels rocks and fossilized Pokemon as his only hobby. Metagross’s robotic voice joked, having read his mind.

  The fossil expert smiled as he leaned back in his chair and rubbed his face, “Hey, you have to be a bit weird to make it as a Pokemon trainer.” He straightened himself and reflexively put a hand into his pocket where his ace’s minimized luxury ball was.

  “Carr!” Carbink chirped as it rolled out from underneath his desk and hopped onto Steven’s lap. It began purring as he began petting the gem Pokemon’s soft mane.

  “I don’t know what Olympia was thinking of, burdening a teenager with saving an entire region.” Stone said aloud, though that was rich coming from him. He ended up having to rely on help from Norman’s youngest two kids, as well as their friends during the Aqua and Magma incident. Some champion he was.

  “What do you think about Azalea and Winnie?” He asked the steel-psychic type.

  She has a few impressive feats under her belt already and is accompanied by a strong team. If Olympia has trusted the girl with a prophecy, then I will trust her foresight.

  “Hmm.” Steven grunted, “If you say so.” He turned on his computer and pulled up a few documents to begin writing a report on what Azalea told him. Even if Olympia was right, he wasn’t going to sit by and let a single trainer and her team shoulder the burden of something that adults should be handling. What happened to kids being able to focus on their own adventures instead of worrying about terrorists and natural disasters?

  We can ask the current Hoenn League cabinet about that, I’m sure they’d have excuses. Metagross sardonically suggested. Steven scoffed, “I think they’ve made it clear they’d rather use me as a shield from the public.”

  The ex-champion felt a burning prickle of spite down his spine as he remembered hearing about the officials who abandoned their posts to go hide in their bunkers while civilians watched their homes and families die, and countless ace trainers and their Pokemon died defending their region. If only there was a way to guarantee their positions wouldn’t be filled by similarly weak willed people or worse when they were inevitably forced to resign.

  Well, the issue with the meteor would have to come first. The ex-champion’s train of thought jumped tracks as he considers the logistics of getting permission to use the Sky Tower, moving a giant meteorite to said tower, finding the two people that Azalea mentioned, arresting Zinnia, Rayquaza, and a new Deoxys. It would be impossible to evacuate an entire region in the few days that they have, the mass panic this would cause if people learned of this.

  Azalea was a wildcard, Agent Ginger even more so, and what did interpol have to do with all of this? Hoenn was short on ace trainers, so it would probably fall to him, Wallace, and members of the elite four to work something out. With the fate of Hoenn resting on what they did, things would have to go flawlessly.

  Stone’s train of thought was interrupted as Metagross chided, Perfection will be the death of you, Steven.

  “I know.” Steven replied, exasperation seeping into his voice, “But it’s not easy when the only time I’ve failed as champion—” Our duty was to represent the region and protect against active threats, which we did to the best of our ability. Metagross calmly cut in, You can’t control everything that happens.

  Steven didn’t disagree, but that little neurotic voice in the back of his head had only gotten worse since the incident. Nothing was good enough, he couldn’t fail again, he had to fix everything, make sure there are no more weaknesses in the Hoenn league that people like Archie and Maxie can exploit again. It was incessant, gnawing away at the rational part of his mind.

  His eyes wandered to the framed photo on his desk, the one of him and his team mining for fossils. It was from before they became champions. A wave of nostalgia hit him as he looked at Metagross, Claydol, Cradily, Aggron, Armaldo, Excadrill…His gaze hovered a bit longer on Skarmory and the large piece of Amber he was presenting to the camera, and he felt a panging pain in his heart.

  His lips tightened into a thin line as his mind inadvertently began to wander back to that day. The scent and sensation of his own burning flesh, the heat, the screams from his fellow trainers and their Pokemon as they fell from the sky like burning embers.

  Carbink, feeling the hand the fossil expert had resting on it begin to shake, sharply chirped for his attention, “CARB!” It’s rabbit-like ears bent backwards as its gems flashed.

  Steven blinked and looked down. BAM! Carbink launched itself into his face, making its trainer reel back from the force of the blow, his chair tipped backwards and crashed down. Stone clutched his forehead and groaned, tears forming in his eyes from the pain of being headbutted by a very solid and very heavy rock.

  “Bink! Car car bink carbink bink carbink!” Carbink shouted, landing gracefully next to the fossil expert’s face. There was some shuffling as Cradilly shambled over and grabbed Carbink with its tentacles, holding it high up like a toddler. “Craaayy.”

  The fossil Pokemon propped their trainer and his chair back up, and then gently patting his head. “Craydily ly.” The barnacle Pokemon returned to its spot next to his desk, holding Carbink high up to put it in time-out. The gem Pokemon sighed and just accepted its fate.

  Slowly straightening himself, Steven rubbed his forehead. Don’t overthink it. Metagross’s calm voice echoed. The ex-champion silently nodded, flipping the framed photo face down as he slowly inhaled, and then exhaled. There were more important things at hand.

  I stretched my arms and let out a sigh as we walked away from the Devon Co Building. Finally freeeee!

  Winnie yawned and stretched as well, “that took forever.” He looked at me, “what are we doing now?”

  “Umm, Sahara and Kaiju need a place to stretch their legs.” I replied, trying to think of what else we should get done. Rotom zoomed out of my pocket with directions to the nearest park with battlefields on its screen.

  “Thanks Rotom.” I said. Then Mismagius whispered from my shadow, “A reminder that we need to do a grocery run.”

  I pointed to her, “We’ll do that after–” I paused as I overheard someone say, “Okra’s butt smells different today. What did he eat last night?”

  With a raised eyebrow, I glanced around. What the hell was that?

  “what is it?” Winnie asked, his ears were pricked upright. Before I could answer, it was as if a flip got switched, and I began picking up more people saying weird shit.

  A chorus of high-pitched voices to our right were chirping, “bread bread bread bread bread bread bread bread bread bread.” But there was only an old lady feeding a flock of Pidove bread.

  A deep, gravelly voice muttered, “I am a rock. Rrrrrrock. THE rock.” As a guy and his Boldore walked past us.

  Uhhhhhhhhhhhh. Am I going crazy? I looked over as a flock of Wingull began fighting over a bunch of french fries that a kid had dropped. Instead of saying “Wingull”, they screamed, “MiiiiIIINE! MiiiiIIINE! MiiiiIIINE! MiiiiIIINE! MiiiiIIINE!” As they pecked and flapped their wings at each other.

  Why do they sound like the seagulls from Finding Nemo? I hadn’t registered that I had stopped walking until I felt Winnie tugging on my sleeve as he asked, “you okay az?”

  “Ummm…” I looked over at a Yamper that was screaming like a pug as a bunch of people petted it and fawned over how cute it was. “YEEESSSSS YEEEEAAAHAHAHAS! WORSHIP ME HUMANS! WORSHIP ME! AHAHAHAHAHA!”

  “Uhhhhhhh,” I grabbed Winnie’s arm and speed walked us away to a street with less people before we stopped and I finally told him, “I think I can understand non-ghost Pokemon.”

  Winnie’s eyes widened for a moment before he asked, “is that a bad thing?”

  I shrugged, “I dunno, it’s pretty distracting. I guess you guys won’t have to translate for me anymore.”

  We looked down as Gengar’s face appeared in my shadow and said, “That’s weird. I can’t sense a curse on you either. What about you Mismagius?”

  The witch ghost’s eyes appeared and stared at me for a second before she spoke, "That's strange. Trevenant’s curse is gone.”

  “What does that mean?” I asked.

  “As in it’s no longer there.” Mismagius answered with a raised eyebrow.

  I gave her an annoyed look before specifying, “I meant, why would it be gone?”

  “It wasn’t a strong curse to begin with, so it could’ve just worn off.” The witch ghost explained, “There’s nothing off about you, so I also have no idea why you can understand all Pokemon now. Trevenant or Dusknoir would probably know more.”

  Banette’s pink eyes appeared above Gengar and Mismagius’s eyes, “Do you think she’s becoming a Pokemon?” She loudly whispered.

  “Actually,” Gengar said in an ‘um, actually’ tone, “Humans technically are a Pokemon species.”

  “wait, really?” Winnie asked incredulously, he looked between me and the ghosts is if his entire world view had just been rearranged. I threw my hands up, “You know what? I don’t care. I don’t have enough shits to give at this point. If it’s weird, it’s weird.” Then I walked away. And so, the subject was dropped.

  We got to Rustboro’s battle park and I picked a spot in the corner to let Sahara, Kaiju, and Thoron out to stretch, though we left a bit earlier than I intended because Kaiju kept sniping Taillow out of the sky and eating them. He insisted he could do it because they were, ‘sky nuggies’ and that I should try some too. By the time we were done with shopping and lunch, Sahara’s ultra ball was heating up on my belt. She was itching for a battle after being stuck in her ball for so long.

  I considered maybe challenging Rustboro gym, but the closest available slot was a month away, so I just settled for returning to the battle park and having her train against Winnie cause he still needed to work on Brick Break. I doubted we’d be able to find anyone willing to battle her on short notice.

  At least that gave me some time to help Thoron work on learning Aerial Ace while Glados occupied Kaiju so he wouldn’t end up eating the entire Taillow population.

  It was only half an hour into training when Sahara stopped in the middle of fighting Winnie and roared, “THIS BORING! I WANT REAL BATTLE AGAINST BRAWLER, NOT STUPID FOX I CANNOT HIT! RAAAAAAAAAGH!”

  I nervously glanced around at the people who had stopped to stare, those who were anywhere near us immediately doubled the distance between us and them. Someone’s gonna call the cops on us for this.

  I made eye contact with Winnie as I hurried over, and he shrugged as if to say, ‘idk, you handle this.’ Banette, trying to be helpful, flew out of Sahara’s shadow and landed on the dragon’s shoulder. “I heard there were a ton of dragons at Meteor Falls, maybe you can battle them for a challenge.”

  “Salamence, specifically.” Gengar added as he poked his head out of Sahara’s shadow, “There’s a Druddigon population there too.”

  The landshark went quiet and tilted her head, baring her teeth in a wide, sharp toothed grin. The hair on my arms and neck stood up as she looked at me and said, “We go to fight.”

  She disappeared in a blur, there was a sharp yank on the back of my jacket, and before I could register it, we were in the air. Thinking quickly, I returned Thoron and Kaiju before they got out of range. Glados zipped into my watch on my outstretched hand before reappearing to try to fly alongside the dragon, but it was too slow to keep up and had to settle for zipping back into my watch and staying there as to not get left behind. There wasn’t anything in its programming that told it how to handle a situation like this.

  The wind buffeted my hair and face, and my stomach dropped into my feet as we rapidly gained altitude. The sight of the ground shrinking below us was dizzying, and I barely registered Winnie wordlessly screaming as he clung onto Sahara’s tail and Banette above me shouting, “Weeeeeee!”

  “SAHARAAAAA WHAT THE ABSOLUTE–” I stopped shouting as I felt myself slowly slipping out of my jacket. My legs flailed as I grabbed Sahara’s lower jaw, hanging on for dear life as I hoisted myself up so I wouldn’t be precariously dangling a few hundred feet off the ground by a piece of cloth.

  Sahara’s gruff voice, muffled from having part of my jacket in her mouth, shouted, “WE BATTLE TODAY!”

  Winnie shouted something that was drowned out by the wind before I felt myself being thrown. Next thing I knew, Sahara was holding me upside down by my legs instead of my jacket. I winced and tried to wriggle into a more comfortable position as I felt Sahara’s sharp teeth digging into my legs not hard enough to pierce through cloth and skin, but just hard enough to leave a bruise. It was like I was in a steel jaw trap.

  I fought against the wind to kind of sit up to try to get face to face with Sahara, but my abs and back muscles weren’t up for it. “SAHARA!!!!! STOOOOOP!!! STOP THIS INSTAAAANT! AHHHHHHH!”

  Back in Rustboro, the Battle Park.

  Two trainers and their Pokemon stood at the edge of the battle Park. Both of the trainers shielded their eyes from the sun as they watched the girl, her Garchomp, and her Lucario disappear into the horizon line.

  One trainer—a purple haired girl with a Delcatty sitting near her feet—turned to her friend—a blond boy holding a Spinda—and asked, “Should we…call someone?”

  Spinda boy pursed his lips and thought for a moment before shaking his head, “Nah.”

  Delcatty girl raised an eyebrow at that, so he explained, “She deserves it for hogging all that space.”

  “But they were only using one field?” Delcatty girl replied questioningly.

  Spinda boy rolled his eyes and deadpanned, “Would you want to use the field next to that Garchomp?” Then he pointed to his Spinda, “That Zweilous was looking at Penny like she was its next meal. I bet your Delcatty probably looked like a gourmet dish to it too.”

  The two stared at each other. “Spiiiiinnnn-daaaa.” Spinda hazily sighed.

  Delcatty girl turned away and said, “We didn’t see anything.”

  Spinda boy nodded, “Yep. We didn’t see anything.”

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