The arrival in Washington D.C. was less cataclysmic than I expected. I was getting used to the sense of queasiness that accompanied portal transportation, but it had still been like going on a roller coaster for about thirty minutes. Whether interdimensional or interstellar, the distance between Mokosh and Earth was immense.

  The world around me was utterly confusing and I briefly wondered if I wasn't going back to my Earth but some sort of alternate version of the planet like in Star Trek or Doctor Who. At this point, parallel Earths weren't something that would have shocked me. The place flat out looked like I'd stepped into Cyber Dragons 2080. That was a video game I'd worked on for Epic DungeoneeringTM and had the premise of Earth falling into a cyberpunk dystopia but also magic returning.

  "How can all this be happening? It's like we're in Hell or something," I muttered, staring at the sights around me.

  "No, it's Hill Valley. Although I can't imagine Hell being much worse," Jon replied, having moved from Susanos' shoulder back to mine.

  The group had arrived in the middle of a back alley in the shadow of one of the skyscrapers that had somehow been constructed in the past year despite the impossibility of such without magic. There was a homeless guy lying in a group of newspapers that I didn't realize people still read and he looked so drunk that he didn't seem to notice the arrival of a bunch of adventurers from another world.

  The walls were plastered with a bunch of flyers announcing President Andrew Veles' re-election campaign, to watch your neighbor, and a bunch of zombies attacking US soldiers with the tagline: THE LIVING VERSUS THE DEAD. TRUST YOUR GOVERNMENT. Which was perhaps the single most ominous one and not because of the zombies. The air also felt 'charged' for lack of a better term and I was surprised I could still feel magic in the air. I had become accustomed to the feeling of sorcery while living in Mokosh and it was always there, like humidity in the air. You may not pay much attention to it but when it was absent, you felt it.

  It was definitely not absent.

  It might even have been stronger.

  Which was not a good sign.

  My bracelets both pinged and saw I’d received, let’s just say a substantial reward.

  MAIN QUEST UPDATED:

  JOURNEY TO BALD MOUNTAIN (1/1)

  ARRIVE AT EARTH (1/1)

  Reward

  + 400,000 EXP

  + 500,000 EXP

  Level 17 to 18

  1,900,2500/3,000,000

  It was a rather substantial reward for just getting teleported and walking through a portal. However, it was entirely possible I was receiving a reward for what the rest of my "party" had done, clearly having done a lot of slaughtering and mayhem to get Bald Mountain clear of enemies. It was also possible that, like with the Fire Temple and Wind Temple, I was doing massive skipping of Veles' intended 'plot.'

  One thing that I'd learned while living out my personal RPG journey was that if you had the freedom to sequence break around massive amounts of combat like so many speed-runners did, you absolutely would. Even the fact you were rewarded for all the combat and dungeon crawls, most human beings were wired to avoid death-defying situations if they could. You needed a special kind of person like Bloodstorm, not going to say psychopath, but let's just say a more 'Wolverine versus Spider-Man' sort of story. Jesus, what was with all the Spider-Man references lately?

  It had mostly served me well and I'd probably avoided being killed multiple times because of my jurisprudence (there's a word I don't often get to use) but I couldn't help but feel like I was underleveled as a result. Indeed, that was a reason why I'd spent the last year vacillating on going after Belobog. I'd wanted to level grind and make sure I was strong enough to defeat Veles.

  Maybe I had just been a coward. Maybe it had just taken beating three gods and all the other craziness to make me realize just how insane it all was. Either way, I still felt underleveled and unpowered for this throw down. Worse, my hesitation had clearly allowed him to change my world. People had suffered for my desire to get a slightly higher bonus to attack rating on my sword.

  "How the hell did Veles do this all in one year?" I asked,

  "He didn't," Susanos said, looking around with utter disdain. "This is the result of Veles dominating your world for the better part of a decade."

  I paused. "What?"

  "Time moves differently between Mokosh and Earth," Maelor said, as if it was the most normal thing in the world. "You're lucky your loved ones ended up being moved as they would have been top targets for the Deceiver."

  "They still were," Alek said, looking around. "It's like they always say, you can't go home again."

  I shook my head, still blown away by all this. "This was not what I agreed to."

  Nevermind that I hadn't really agreed to anything. Larry had me sign a contract but he'd made sure it had been in Polish without any chance to go over it. I'd been so blinded by the prospect of reading the next book that I hadn't bothered to note how utterly weird it had all been.

  "Yeah, who would have thought that Larry C.C. Weis would lie to us!" Jon said, flapping his wings a bit.

  I rolled my eyes. "So the entire time I was gone, Veles was laying the groundwork for his takeover."

  I felt like such a fool. I should have seen this coming. Hell, I'd had hints about what was Veles was doing the entire time. He'd been harvesting magical wood at the Earth Temple and with workers from Earth. Bloodstorm had once worked at a Epic DungeoneeringTM shipping plant before being replaced with the undead. He'd been building up his resources here the entire time and I'd been too focused on Mokosh to follow up on it.

  Stolen content warning: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

  "Yes," Susanos said, raising her hands and muttering something incomprehensible.

  Instantly, everyone's armor changed their appearance to clothing more appropriate for the setting that made us all look like we were gang members from the Eighties. Susanos was the sole exception, who found herself in a business suit dress that screamed corporate.

  "Huh," I said, looking at my ripped blue jeans and leather jacket over a band t-shirt. None that I recognized. "I don't think this is going to get us into the White House."

  "Veles rarely spends time in the White House," Susanos said. "What with it being in front of a giant crater and all that. If he is anywhere at all, it is usually the Epic DungeoneeringTM building. That is protected by his finest mercenaries and the death lords I was unable to persuade to switch sides. We must focus our attention on the UMCs in order to lure him out."

  "The what now?" I asked.

  Susanos pointed out past the city skyline to something I in the distance that looked like a bunch of Eiffel Tower-sized metal constructions. They were being constantly hit by red lightning bolts and looked like something out of cyberpunk Mordor, which I supposed America had become in my absence.

  "Wow, cell phone towers have really changed since we left," Jon said.

  "These towers are bringing in magic from the aether and changing the fundamental physics," Susanos said, absently. "It is part of the crisis that allowed Veles to seize control over this country and others. People panick at the sight of things they do not understand people morphing into elves, goblins, or dwarves will certainly do that. So will the appearance of dragons and magic."

  "Veles must be a fan of Shadowrun," Jon muttered. "I love those games. The NES, Genesis, and computer versions I mean."

  "I used to play the tabletop game," I admitted.

  "Pfft, nerd," Jon said.

  "Standard political philosophy for democracies," Maelor said. "Break everything and then say only you can fix it."

  "It's why it's a silly system," Maria said, wearing a tight black leather dress that didn't come down to her knees. She also had poofy black hair and makeup that made me think fashion had gone back to the Eighties. My parents would love it.

  "It has it's flaws," I said, pausing. "But you're really running a crap shot with the whole king thing. Your child inheriting things is no guarantee of them being anything like even a theoretically good king."

  "Which is why you should have an immortal god king. Hint, hint," Rachel said, leaning in on me. She was wearing a mesh hose with a red dress that exposed generous amounts of cleavage. Her hair was every bit as large as Maria's.

  "We need a six-inch rule, Rachel," I said, looking at her.

  “Six inches of what?” Rachel asked, fluttering her eyelashes.

  “Distance,” I corrected, annoyed that she’d apparently inherited some weird combination of her mother’s horniness and my snark.

  Rachel pouted. “Fine.”

  "Immortal rulers certainly seem like a good idea," Maelor said, shrugging. He had a headband covering his ears, a blue jean jacket, a tank top shirt, and pants like mine. "Particularly when you're the immortal ruler. Believe me, I should know. However, in the end, it becomes all too easy to fall into bad habits."

  "Like turning your nobility into bloodsucking horrors?" Garland asked. He was wearing a plain grey hoodie, tracksuit pants, and sunglasses.

  "Yes," Maelor said. "It's better to be like the Sith Lords, only a master and an apprentice. That way you keep your rivals all in one place, but they keep you on your toes."

  Before I could ask how Maelor knew about Sith Lords, Susanos cleared her throat. "If I may interrupt the inane banter portion of the evening, may I direct us back to our plan."

  "You want to attack the big magical electrical towers, blow them up, and hopefully lure Veles out for a straight fight," I said, following her logic. Somewhat. "Which seems like a lot simpler plan than I'm really comfortable with."

  "The simplest plans are best," Susanos said with a lot more confidence than I think was warranted.

  "And you don't think he's going to just drone strike us," I said, referring to the fact we now had to deal with modern military tactics. Would we have to fight US soldiers? The police? What kind of resources could Veles bring to bear here now that he'd had a decade to consolidate his power?

  "That is not his way," Susanos said. "Believe me, I have known him for thousands of years."

  "You knew the old Veles," I replied. "The old Veles who hated oathbreakers and wasn't actively trying to kill everyone everywhere."

  "Like Morgoth in the Silmarillion," Jon said, showing he wasn't completely under Susanos’ control. "Except Morgoth also wanted to destroy the afterlife, which Veles doesn't want to do. Yet."

  Susanos' stare could have frozen water.

  "Right," I said, pausing. "I guess we should go with your plan then."

  "We might not have time to come up with another," Garland said, surprising me.

  "What do you mean?" I asked, confused.

  "Veles is the god of your world now," Garland said, putting a neat little bow of how fucked we were now. "There may be other gods here but he's managed to place himself on the throne of your most powerful nation."

  "Not the first complete asshole to do so," Jon said, making a comment both sides of the political spectrum could agree on, if not the specifics.

  "Which means?" Maria asked, looking at Garland rather than me. It seemed the only thing she hated more than her bastard stepson

  "It means that Veles may well know what we're doing anyway," Garland said. "He probably sensed our entrance the moment we opened a portal from Mokosh."

  "Well, that's not good," I muttered, contemplating the very likely possibility that we were screwed before the mission had begun.

  Susanos stared off in the distance. "All the more reason to do what we need to do. Quickly and with decisiveness."

  "Halt! Put your hands up!" I heard a voice coming from the end of the alleyway.

  At the other end, I saw two police officers, a white man and a black man, standing there in leather jackets with a V patch on their lapels. Both had their guns drawn. I could see their police cruiser not far behind them at the beginning of the alley. I hoped they’d been close by or Veles already had our number.

  "Oh goddamnit," I muttered.

  One of them pulled out his walkie talkie and put it to his mouth. "We've got a Zero-B-Eleven incursion, sir. They're seven people who look they stepped out of The Warriors. You know, the musical that's based on the old Eighties musical. My wife and I--"

  "Die," Susanos said, extending a single bony finger toward the pair.

  "No!" I shouted, trying to stop her.

  But it was too late. The two of them froze up then collapsed to the ground like puppets whose strings had been cut. It was a reminder that I was travelling with casual killers and monsters.

  "That was unnecessary," I said, wondering if I had enough juice to raise one from the dead.

  "Do it and I'll kill them again," Susanos said. "We don't have time to deal with the local constabulary."

  I turned around and hissed. "Yes, because killing cops is going to make it so much easier for us to operate!"

  "How many guards and soldiers have you killed on my world?" Maria asked, looking at me with a dismissive look.

  I didn't have a good answer for that. "Let's go blow up the fucking towers and have the final boss fight."

  "That's the spirit!" Jon said. "None of this bullshit about sixteen 120K books where the story just keeps going on and on. No, sir, we're going to wrap this up, one and done with enough room to maybe do a trilogy but no more.”

  I stared down at the body of the dead cops on the ground, knowing they’d already called reinforcements. There was nothing I could do now and I had to focus on the mission if I wanted to make their deaths worth it.

  “Alright,” I said, taking a deep breath. “Let’s go blow up those towers and see if they summon the Devil.”

  “Oh, he is so much worse than the Devil,” Maelor said. “We could have handled Old Scratch at Level 12 or 13.”

  “I really would love to know what people in-universe think of RPG mechanics,” Jon said.

  “Bring them up and die,” Susanos said, waving her hand in the air.

  With that, I felt my center of gravity lift and found myself hurtling into the air.