I slid my arms under her back and knees, lifting her effortlessly into the air. I carried her out of the mini-library and walked straight into the bedroom.

  I didn't care about the ghosts anymore. I tossed her gently onto the center of the massive mattress. My hands moved frantically, stripping away her tank top, her shorts, and her underwear until she was completely bare. I grabbed her ankles, lifting her legs and pressing a hot, desperate kiss to her inner thigh. Her muscles locked up, shivering under my touch.

  Slowly, I pushed her knees apart. She gasped, suddenly feeling entirely exposed. She quickly moved her hand down to cover herself, her cheeks burning bright red as she shyly turned her face away from my gaze.

  Jess…

  I crawled over her, leaning my weight down on my forearms. I pressed open-mouthed kisses along her jawline and down her neck until her spine arched off the mattress. As my face sank into the pillows beside her head, it hit me.

  The faint, sweet scent of chocote-vanil perfume was still woven deep into the fabric of the bedsheets.

  The hallucination completely took over. Jess.. God, I miss you…

  My hand slid down her stomach, venturing between her legs. My fingertips brushed against the back of the hand she was still using as a shield. Gently, deliberately, I ced my fingers through hers, pulling her hand away and pinning it to the mattress. I repced her hand with my own, finding her completely soaked and slick with anticipation.

  She gasped, a loud, breathy moan escaping her lips.

  Do you miss me too, Jess?

  I captured her mouth in a deep, punishing kiss, my fingers beginning a slow, agonizing rhythm against her center. She surrendered instantly. She let go of my hand, wrapping both of her arms securely around my neck. She kissed me back with a sloppy, desperate hunger, our tongues tangling together.

  Suddenly, she cried out into my mouth. Her entire body trembled violently against the mattress as a powerful, localized climax ripped through her.

  You like it, Jess? I knew you would.

  I pulled back, breaking the kiss, and quickly stripped off my own clothes. The freezing air of the loft bit into my bare skin.

  I crawled back over her, my knees sinking into the mattress on either side of her hips. Her wide, dark eyes darted nervously between my face and my heavy, pulsing erection.

  "Daeron... please," she whispered, her voice trembling slightly. "Be gentle."

  I guided myself to her entrance and slowly, steadily pushed inside. She was incredibly tight. Her hands immediately flew up, her fingernails digging fiercely into the muscles of my shoulders. I buried my face back into the vanil-scented pillow beside her head and let the madness consume me entirely.

  With every downward thrust, she seemed to clench tighter around my shaft. Her fingernails cwed agonizing paths down my back, likely drawing blood, but I didn’t feel the pain. I didn’t stop. I felt like I was physically incapable of stopping.

  I will not lose you again, Jess! I won't let you leave!

  I began to thrust faster, my hips snapping against hers with bruising force. Her soft whimpers escated into loud, frantic cries. The overwhelming sensory overload was too much for her; her body trembled violently, and she instinctively pushed her hands against my chest, trying to force me to slow down.

  I didn't slow down. I grabbed her waist, effortlessly flipping her over onto her stomach.

  It was better this way. With her face buried in the pillows, I didn't have to look at a stranger. The illusion was absolutely fwless.

  I gripped her hips tightly, pulling her back against me, and resumed the brutal, relentless pace. Her moans faded from my ears, muffled entirely by the thick mattress. She cwed desperately at the bedsheets, her spine arching as I pounded into her.

  I didn't stop. I was fucking a ghost, and I couldn't stop until the ghost loved me back.

  I kept thrusting, driving her higher and higher until her muffled whimpers turned into a sharp, broken scream. My vision went completely white. I drove my hips forward one final time and unloaded everything I had deep inside her.

  She jolted in shock, her body seizing as a massive, full-body climax hit her at the exact same time. She shivered violently beneath me as the final waves of pleasure wrecked her. I slowly pulled out, colpsing heavily onto my side as a rush of warm fluid oozed out onto the sheets.

  *

  I y ft on my back, staring up at the high, industrial ceiling.

  Beside me, Gaby was still whimpering softly, her chest heaving as she tried to pull oxygen back into her exhausted lungs. She reached out, her small, warm hand resting gently against my sweaty chest.

  I didn't move. I didn't hold her hand.

  The manic high evaporated in a split second. The adrenaline completely drained from my bloodstream.

  Why? I thought, a cold, sickening dread pooling in my stomach. Why do I still feel this massive void in my chest?

  I had done exactly what my toxic brain told me to do. I had found a distraction. I had used her body. But there was no joy. There was no warmth. There was no victory.

  The phantom scent of vanil faded. I was just a broken guy lying naked next to a stranger. Everything felt completely, terrifyingly hollow.

  **

  The heavy, suffocating silence of the loft woke me up.

  I blinked, my eyes adjusting to the shadows. The sun had completely set, and the room was pitch bck save for the orange glow of the Chicago skyline bleeding through the windows. I shifted my weight and immediately froze.

  Gaby was curled up tightly against my side, her bare skin warm against my ribs.

  The heavy fog of lust completely evaporated. The reality of the situation crashed down on me like a ton of bricks.

  Fuck! What the hell did I just do? Damn it…

  I had used her. I had closed my eyes and completely used her body as a stand-in for a ghost.

  "Gaby?" I whispered, my hand instinctively reaching out to gently cup her cheek.

  "Mhm-mph." Her eyeshes fluttered. She slowly opened her eyes, looking up at me. In the dim city light, her brown eyes looked wide, vulnerable, and completely trusting.

  "Daeron," she breathed, her voice incredibly low and shaky.

  I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her flush against my chest to hide my own terrified expression.

  "I’m sorry, Gaby. I was too rough."

  She was quiet for a long, agonizing second. "…. You’re my first, Daeron."

  Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! The words hit me like a physical punch to the gut. She was a virgin. I hadn't just used a random club girl for a quick rebound; I had taken a sweet, innocent freshman's virginity while hallucinating about Jessica.

  "I should’ve asked you first," I murmured, burying my face in her dark hair and hugging her tighter. A sharp, sickening sting radiated through my chest. It wasn't the hollow ache of missing Jessica anymore. It was pure, suffocating regret. I was a monster.

  She hugged my torso, burying her face into my chest. "It's okay. I’m gd you’re my first."

  What? No! No! No! Gaby, don't say that! my brain screamed at her. I am using you! I'm broken! Run away!

  "I’m gd I got to be your first too, baby," my mouth said.

  My internal monologue completely froze.

  What the fuck!! No! Stop talking!

  I was completely detached from my own body. The demon had completely taken over the steering wheel.

  She chuckled softly, the sound vibrating against my ribs. She sounded so incredibly happy. "Can we just cuddle for a while?"

  "Of course," my mouth answered, my voice a low, comforting rumble. "Let’s just stay like this for a few minutes. After that, I’ll go cook you something."

  She raised her head, looking at me with pure, unadulterated adoration. "Really? You want to cook dinner for me?"

  No. Do not trust me. I'm going to ruin you.

  "Hm-mp," I hummed, gently brushing a stray lock of hair behind her ear. "I’ll make you a steak. I think I still have some good cuts in the freezer."

  I was automatically rebuilding the exact same domestic trap I had lived in with Jessica.

  "Yay! It’s been so long since I had a real steak!" she beamed.

  I chuckled, a hollow, dead sound that she mistook for affection. "But… kiss me first"

  Gaby. Don’t. Get out of this bed.

  She didn't hear my internal screaming. She leaned forward, pressing her soft lips against mine in a sweet, passionate kiss. I kissed her back, pying the role perfectly.

  "That’s a nice kiss," I whispered as she pulled away, trailing my fingers down her spine.

  "Good girl"