Chapter Five - As Per My Next Email

  "This new legislation will make it impossible for people to have multiple citizenships... no, I will not be taking questions... no, my wife doesn't have four citizenships, she has three. Hmm? No, here are exceptions to the law. Look, it's all in the bill. I'm done answering questions. Thank you."

  --Senator Ima Badguy, press conference, 2027

  ***

  "You'll be coming, right?" I asked.

  Delilah gave me a look, and while she was very good at keeping a flat, unemotional expression on (something I think was trained into her) I had known her long enough now to notice the slight twitch in the corner of her eyes that meant she was about to be a little mischievous. "Maybe I shouldn't," she said. "I'm curious to see if you could even handle yourself all on your own?"

  "Oh, you know I can," I said. "But there wouldn't be as many survivors, so really you ought to come and help. Just think of the mess if I go in unsupervised."

  "If you know that you're going to make a mess, then shouldn't that encourage you not to?" she asked.

  "No."

  Delilah's look turned into a flat glare. She was good with those. "Fine. I suppose I can make the time to come with you."

  "Heh. Alright, thanks. I'll be taking the Bastion over. I guess you'll take the Fury?"

  "That'd be sensible. Two vehicles is better than one. It'll allow us more flexibility, as well," she said with a little nod. "Are you going to contact our allies? Who were you thinking of bringing?"

  "Eh, for now I'll just send out a group message. I guess... Shy, Crackshot, Gros Baton... urgh, Princess, Hedgehog and Tankette. Grasshopper would be nice to have along. Emoscythe will know if I ask Crackshot. Am I forgetting anyone?"

  "There are a few others. Sam-O-Ray operates around this region. Not necessarily in New Montreal all the time, but he's often close by. Then there's Cause Player as well. He does operate from New Montreal." Delilah hummed. "We have... a lot of Samurai in this one city."

  "Do we?" I asked.

  "Quebec had, at its recent height, five. We just listed off ten, not including the two of us, and I'm quite certain that there are a couple more. Jolly Monarch lives here, for example."

  "So, what, about fifteen-ish to their five?" I asked. "Isn't our population three times larger? I'm not great at math, but that seems to work out."

  "Hm, I suppose it more or less does. Samurai-per-popula isn't an exact science, in any case. I think the amount of Antithesis in a region counts for a lot, and then there are other factors, including the individual 'taste' of the various Protector AI."

  "What, you're saying Myalis likes the flavour of me?" I asked.

  Disgusting.

  "I'm pretty sure you're off on that one," I agreed.

  "Atyacus and I have a nice relationship," Delilah said. "Anyway, add Cause Player and Sam-O-Ray to the people you're contacting. They'll be helpful to have as allies."

  "Yeah, yeah," I said before stretching. I glanced at the time on my augs. It was just a few minutes shy of when Lucy would be coming home. I might as well be there for when she arrives. "I'll do that right now, otherwise I'll put it off and no one will wanna show up."

  She nodded. "Some people don't appreciate tardiness."

  "The only people that do are the ones who are late," I said. "Thanks for the coffee, it was... coffee-like? If you need anything, lemme know? Oh, and say hi to Franny when she shows up."

  "I can do that," Delilah said. "She might be a little upset that you're dragging me away from home."

  "Ah, yes, the honeymoon phase," I said.

  Delilah didn't blush, because she wasn't that sort, but I could still tell by the slight squeezing in of her shoulders that I'd gotten to her a little.

  I got going, before she decided to toast me on the way out. I rode the elevator up, but stopped on the floor with the parking garage. Lucy hadn't come back from school just yet, but I didn't mind waiting for her. Though it was cold as balls.

  Sure, the dolphin shorts were nice, but damn did they leave a lot of leg exposed, and in the nearly freezing garage I was starting to feel it. I walked over to the little pre-fab repair workstation I had in the back. The Nyanzeefaust was there, moved over from the Bastion after I'd brought it out to that casino. I had taken a few small bits apart to get back to fixing the internals properly. Maybe I should have done that today, instead of sitting on the couch upstairs and zoning out?

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  Eh, whatever. I half-heartedly fiddled with a few things, mostly just cleaning out a few parts and moving stuff around so that it was semi-organized. In the meantime... "Myalis, wanna help me write up an email?"

  I can think of literally billions of things I'd rather do, but I suppose I can stoop so low as to be a secretary for you once more.

  I rolled both eyes. "After that stunt with the call earlier, you'd better."

  Fine. What did you want that Email to say?

  "Uh... well, it needs to go out to all of the local samurai. Just... tell them that Gom and I are heading out to Quebec because they might need help. It'll be a quick trip. In and out, a day or two max. Just check in on the place, maybe destroy some baby hives, then help the army set up a little better."

  And did you want me to write this so that it looks like you wrote it?

  "That's just a trick to fuck up all the grammar and make me look like an idiot," I said. "But yeah? Only clean it up a little?"

  Very well. Here, let me know if this is suitable.

  A textbox appeared in my vision, with an email sitting in it. There were a dozen or so email addresses in the top box, some I recognized (PrincessDupont could only be one person), others were just strings of letters and numbers.

  Hey everyone,

  Just a heads-up, Gomorrah and I are heading out to Quebec to check on a developing situation. Intelligence says the area might need extra hands. Plan is a fast in-and-out, a day or two at most. We'll do a sweep, clear out any baby hives we find, and help the local army tighten their setup if needed.

  Nothing major expected, but we'll send updates once we're on site.

  Much love and cuddles, :3,

  --Stray Cat

  "I think we can probably replace that last bit with something more serious," I said.

  With love?

  I snorted. "Sure. Do you think they'll know it's from me?"

  I'd hope that the other AI will know to verify. Speaking of which, you haven't checked your emails in a while.

  I blinked. Why would I? They were mostly junkmail. Though Myalis had been stopping things from reaching me pretty successfully lately.

  I opened my email client on my augs and flicked through it with my eyes. It wasn't hard to see what Myalis was hinting at. There was only one recent email that stood out. Myalis had been blocking out all of the junkmail. Most of the junkmail. There were ads for catfood and pet services clogging things. I wasn't even sure why that was being sent to me.

  One message stood out, though, sent just today. I'd have 100% missed it, even though it was flagged as safe.

  Blinking at the email, I opened it, then scanned through.

  Hello Samurai

  My name is Crisis Mode, or just Cecelia, I suppose. I'm a Samurai located in Quebec city. I've been told by my AI that you might be attempting to reach Quebec, that you're our reinforcements.

  I cannot decide if I want you to come or if it would be infinitely kinder of me to tell you to stay away. In any case, if you need any assistance in assisting us, please let me know. I have little time left in my day, but what I do have I'd be happy to share if it means putting an end to this nightmare.

  Thank you,

  Crisis Mode

  "What in the fuck," I said as I reached the end. "Myalis, is this legit?"

  It was legitimately sent by a Protectorate AI on behalf of their vanguard, yes. As to the veracity of what is being said, I can't attest to that.

  "Can we do a quick search online for this Crisis Mode?" I asked.

  There are plenty of references to things called that, but cross-referencing for a Vanguard in Quebec brings up very little. A few images from the last week or two, some passing mentions in some forums.

  Myalis threw up what she found across my vision. There was one good image. A twenty-something woman, maybe in her early thirties? I couldn't tell how tall she was from the way she was slumped against some sort of barricade wall. She looked exhausted, brown hair matted and stuck to her face by sweat, clothes covered in dust and splatters of dark green blood.

  "Now... why would she be sending me a message like this, instead of through any other channel?" I wondered aloud.

  ***