John stood in an awkward position, trying to keep the weight off his twisted ankle, when the notification came through.
Quest Complete:
Shrimp On The Barbie
Objective:
Kill the shrimp 1/1
Reward:
X100 shards
With a sly smile he closed off the quest completion window and looked towards Truffle who was tentatively sniffing the cooked carcass of Barbie the shrimp.
He lifted his nose up in disgust and took a step back, bowing his head as he turned back, looking utterly dejected.
“Aren’t you going to eat it?” John asked through gritted teeth, the pain in his body was getting worse now the adrenaline of battle was wearing off.
“It smells yucky,” the teacup pig moaned, “I hate overcooked food.”
“But you might get a new power.”
“I said I hate overcooked food, Boss,” he replied sharply, “No. Thank. You.”
John didn’t understand his reticence, it seemed completely illogical and any new power could be the difference between life and death in this game.
However, he had more pressing matters than trying to force a pig to eat seafood. He needed a safe place to rest for a while, and he seriously needed some sleep.
The day’s events had lasted forever and he’d been in more battles and performed more exercise than could possibly be healthy for a normal human in a single day.
He needed a bed.
***
Buck lounged behind his empty bar, his dreary eyes closing by themselves. Every time he forced them back open, he somehow got even more tired.
It had been a long day and he wanted nothing more than to curl up behind the bar and let it be over. He wasn’t allowed a bed; it was part of his contract. Not that he was complaining, he wouldn’t dare.
KNOCK
KNOCK
KNOCK
“Hold your horses I’m coming!” He yelled, agitation replacing his dreariness.
Moving out from behind his bar, he opened the large wooden door. They’d finally returned.
Took them long enough, he thought in a hazy huff.
“What are you doing here?” The bright-eyed baby orc asked in surprise.
***
“What am I doing here?” Buck replied, “this is my diner, where else would I be?”
John staggered inside and to his surprise, the dinosaur was correct. It was the exact same diner they’d stayed in during their time in the outback. The Outback Sleep Shack was emblazoned in a flickering, neon glow above the bar.
There were the same stools, the same menu above the countertop which doubled as a TV screen, there was even the same kiosk in the far corner.
Without hesitation, John stuck his head back outside the door frame. It was the same dreary street they had entered from. Tall buildings surrounded it on either side. It was in the middle of Perth, of that there was no doubt.
Yet somehow the interior was the identical to the diner they’d found inside the big red monolith in the middle of the outback.
“Ok Buck, I think you’ve got some explaining to do,” John said, staggering towards a bar stool and collapsing into it. His ankle couldn’t take anymore, but he desperately needed answers.
How could the same diner with the same whacky dinosaur exist in two places at once?
“Sure, sure,” Buck replied with a yawn, “but can we talk about this in the morning? I’m struggling to keep awake as it is. There’s a healing bed in the back, courtesy of the producers. There’s nothing less entertaining than a contestant dying of infection, they want you to die in style. That’s why disease only exists from card powers now.”
“Thanks,” John replied, drooping onto the counter, “can I assume that we heal faster out there than we should be able to as well?” Buck nodded sleepily, confirming John’s suspicions. “I need to know what’s going on before I can sleep. This is the exact same diner we met you in last time, but we’re in Perth now.”
“If you gathered that much then it doesn’t sound like you need an explanation.”
John glared at the dinosaur through the tops of his eyes and he flinched slightly, stumbling to catch the glass he’d been polishing.
“Humour me,” John said dryly.
Truffle trotted around the place sniffing at various pieces of furniture and pulling funny faces.
“Fine, fine,” Buck lamented, “remember before when I told you I was kinda like your game guide but also a promoter for the challenges?”
“If you mean do I remember how you lied to me, drugged me and threw me into the gauntlet, then yes Buck, I do.”
“Well, there’s a little more to it than that,” the dinosaur squirmed, taking a large step back before continuing. “Each contestant, or unofficial party in your case, gets assigned a guy. I’m your guy. Because you completed the gauntlet, we’re stuck together now. Think of me as a manager, game guide, whatever floats your boat really… that’s me. Each of us were assigned different challenges to give contestants, once they’ve completed them we become linked and our rooms, this diner in my case, transforms into a subspace that’s specifically linked to your DNA. Whenever you enter a designated sleeping area you’ll find me. There are bars, hotels, diners and all sorts of other similar buildings scattered around the game area, every time you enter one it will portal you to this pocket dimension, here, to me.”
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“That’s great!” Truffle pipped up having finished his inspection of the furniture, “that means we can see you for every meal.”
“Why didn’t you tell us that before?” John asked, raising a single eyebrow.
“Well you weren’t exactly happy to see me last time and I didn’t fancy taking a bullet, but no harm no foul right?” Buck replied, flinching slightly, “there are a lot of rules and quirks in this game and I’m not really supposed to tell you about them without a prompt. The showrunners say that it encourages contestant self-sufficiency.”
“Right,” John replied with a deep sigh, “Before when you said this isn’t really a safe room, does that mean other contestants can enter?”
“They can, but it’s uncommon. When we first met, but before you tackled the gauntlet, anyone who entered the diner through that first door would have been able to get inside. A few arrived before you. But now that you’ve completed the challenge I was forced to give you, most contestants won’t be able to enter this place.”
Most? John wondered. That means some can. He also remembered the other bodies in the gauntlet. They had to be these other contestants that had found Buck first.
“Right,” he replied slowly. “I’m too tired to be angry at you right now, but you really need to start being more open about this stuff. I’m gonna hit the hay.”
“Good idea,” Buck said, “though now the first three days are up you’ll be able to see a recap episode if you want to stay up? It airs at midnight. I’ve been forcing myself to stay awake for it.”
“Ooh, that sounds fun!” Truffle squealed, “I wonder if we’ll be on it?”
“Can all the contestants see it?” John asked, perking up slightly.
“Assuming they’re in a sleeping spot when it airs, then yes.”
“I guess I kinda have to watch it then don’t I?” He replied, raising his head from the bar and motioning for Buck to pass him a drink, which he did, “I don’t want to get behind the competition.”
“I couldn’t have said it better myself,” Buck agreed, stifling a yawn.
They sat around for a few minutes whilst John nursed a straight whisky and Truffle talked to Buck, who seemed to be desperately resisting the urge to fall asleep. Then the menu screen above the bar burst into light, forming a very wide TV.
“Welcome to the first Battle Royale Earth recap episode, I’m so excited to be here!” The praying mantis in the brown suit said.
I had seen him before on the opening day address, though only for a moment before the screen went blank. He sat in a newsroom with the Earth spinning peacefully in the background. Next to him was the same green orc that had accompanied him before.
“Show good,” the orc said, flashing its tusks, “very violent, very entertaining. Grend like.”
“Frank like too,” the Mantis said with a practiced smile.
Frank, John thought, squeezing his glass as he saw the charred body of the man who had once helped him fix his car. His chest burned and he downed the whisky, causing his throat to burn as well.
“We’ve got a lot to get through tonight folks and not a lot of time. This first segment is available for the contestants to watch as well, then we’ll move on to interviews and a more in depth look at the game as a whole and who to watch this season. So, without further ado, let’s get on with the show!”
A live studio audience cheered as the screen changed to videos of events that had happened in the last few days. It flicked through a series of pod landings, bewildered humans exiting in their body suits, many of whom were killed almost immediately by various beasts in a myriad of locations. A small group of unarmed contestants were set upon by the pack of knife wielding koalas, they died screaming. Another group, who were in a snowy setting, were brutally beaten to death by a sasquatch which picked one of them up by the legs and used his body to beat the others into a bloody pulp.
There were a few shots of solo players too. A small woman stepped on a landmine in an area covered in mud, barbed wire, and trenches. It reminded John of a first world war scene as she exploded into tiny chunks of bloodied flesh. Then there was a young, jittery man who was tied to a spit by a group of hyena andromorphs who laughed wildly as they slowly cooked him over an open fire. The poor guy cried and yelled, but the sadistic gnolls only cackled more feverishly.
Next the screen flicked to a group of children who seemed to have landed in a jungle. None of them could have been older than twelve and they were brandishing wooden spears and wearing mud on their faces like war paint.
I guess Golding was right, John lamented as he forced himself to take in the events unfolding on the screen.
The children surrounded a young couple who looked rightfully terrified as they tried to back away with raised palms. Then the feral children proceeded to attack them with the spears, poking holes in their bodies like they were pi?atas except in lieu of candy and confetti bursting out, there was just blood… lots of blood.
There was another flicker and the screen focused on an armoured man riding a werewolf and wielding a polearm. He was surrounded by zombies and he twirled his weapon expertly, decapitating and dismembering the oncoming horde. In the background there was a huge castle with massive bats flying overhead.
“How did he tame a werewolf?” John asked, exasperatedly.
“It’s probably a card,” Buck replied, “but he definitely seems ahead of the curve. Looks like he already has two of them.”
The screen flickered again to the scene where John shot the Whowie and turned his guns on the audience. It wasn’t very flattering and the short clip made no attempt to show the audience that the alien audience were fake holograms and not real viewers. It was almost as if the show was trying to portray him as an unhinged barbarian. John wondered if that was the same for all of the contestants that had been showed. Every clip lacked context, but he doubted the viewers cared.
“I look like the Guns Akimbo meme of Daniel Radcliffe,” he moaned and took a large gulp of his second whisky.
“I think you looked fierce boss,” Truffle piped up before they returned their attention to the screen.
An elderly woman in a wheelchair was up next. Her chair was rocket propelled and it had dual gatling guns attached. She cackled wildly as she mowed down an entire army of goblins by herself.
The IV drip attacked to her chair was filled with a bright blue liquid that sparkled in the sun and her pupils were dilated. She seemed to be having the time of her life as she performed doughnuts over the corpses of the slain monsters.
She definitely has more than one card, John thought, squeezing his glass absently. Are we falling behind?
Afterwards another few clips showed some more normal-looking people desperately trying to survive against the odds, then the screen flickered once more to show someone that both John and Truffle recognised.
Joanna walked out of a building as it burst into flames. She looked like an action movie hero as the fire licked the sky and screams could be heard in the background. The clip was shown in slow motion. Those sick fucks. She smiled devilishly and placed a card into her chest, revealing a little more of her breasts to the camera than most women would probably want to show.
“Looks like I was right,” John mumbled over the rim of his glass.
So, she did kill those people to steal a card.
“Is she playing up for the camera?” Truffle asked, “it looks like she’s playing up for the camera. Why else would she lick her lips seductively and show off her boobies like that?”
“So it’s starting already,” Buck sighed and the other two looked towards him with raised brows. “This always happens sooner or later in the first round, usually it’s later. Eventually contestants start to figure out that being entertaining is the easiest way to survive the longest. More viewers equal better sponsors come round two. So, inevitably, they start actively trying to outdo each other with crazy, or in her case monstrous, stunts to entertain the viewers. If the showrunners have let you watch that clip, it means they want people to realise that cards can be stolen from other contestants. It’s subtle, but the smartest of you should be able to work it out from that clip.
“I’ve got to say, she’s a natural, committing arson and playing up to the camera as she left. If she’s not on your team you’re gonna have your work cut out for you.”
“I guess it makes sense,” John said quietly, “though there’s one thing I don’t understand. We were in that building after it was burnt out and it looked similar to this place. If it was a sleeping spot, then how did she even enter it whilst someone else was inside? I thought you said we all get one dinosaur guide.”
“I said you get one guy, I said nothing about dinosaurs,” Buck replied poignantly. “What I did say, was that we get linked together once you complete a task for us. In your case it was the gauntlet. It’s just a guess, but I would say the people who were in there first hadn’t completed a task yet. So that woman probably walked in on them sleeping and killed them. For all we know, that could have been the task she was giving. Each of us guides have different instructions at the start of the game. Not all tasks require us to drug you and drop you into a gauntlet.”
John narrowed his eyes at Buck who jerked backwards slightly. The whole gauntlet ordeal was still a bit of a sore subject. Either way, Buck’s hypothesis added yet another knot to John’s already overflowing mind. If the dinosaur was right, then the guides were just as dangerous as everything else in this game.
